penis problems

LegacyUser

hi all, have a problem thats been troubling me for quite some time now and i hope ye can help.

Im a 20yo relatively healthy male. I've been with my girlfriend for a year now but still havent had sex properly with her. The problem starts as soon as penetration begins i start to slowly lose my erection and within a few mins its gone.

I think the problem is that i really cant feel much, barely anything in fact(with or without condom). I cant even tell if i'm still erect... I also notice this problem when receiving oral sex, its fairly insensitive.

I notice however that during masturbation, or handjob everything is fine and i can maintain an erection no bother.

I have another issue with my penis which i hope is related, i have a tight frenulum, when i pull my foreskin back all the way my glans gets bent down, which is uncomfortable! I went to the doctor about this about 8weeks ago and he said i do appear to have a frenulum problem so he referred me to a urologist but im still waiting for an appointment date.
To sum up, my question is would these two problems be related?
And can you think of any other reason for my erection problem?

I actually fear the root problem is going to develop into a psychological issue as i now wonder 'is it still up??' and 'will it work this time??' and other such questions to myself...

Any input would be much appreciated, thanks!

LegacyUser

You would be surprised at just how common the first problem is for men! I do not know about the other thing you mentioned but they are not related.

the reason you are going soft is all nerves, your mind is doing 200 mph and there is no blood going anywere else. Completly normal. the condom is not the problem, your nerves just build as your waiting around to 'put it in'. This happened me with my first gf and even if i get with a new GF it could happen!

the solution? relax...try and forget about the sex. when your playing around with your girlfriend focus on the other stuff. after a few weeks you will not be making such a big deal about it eventually your mind will slooooww down and everything will work and when your ready the sex will happen.

Im sure you have a good trusting relationship with your GF and that will help a lot. dont force it and dont let it bother you.

Taltos

+1 to the post above.

Something else to consider is that you are used to a certain amount of pressure from your hand - it is highly unlikely that your GF can simulate the same pressure internally. So there is a small chance you are now desensitised to lesser pressure.
Don't want to say lay off the hand for a while - you'd go made from all that stuff building up inside but maybe reduce the pressure as much as possible - it might take some time...
Be prepared for some frustration here.

But again medical stuff aside which we cannot comment on alot of this could just be in your head - nerves etc.

Go back to your doc though and see if he can speed this along - be honest with him - tell him it is getting you down, affecting your confidence and relationship, the longer this goes untreated the greater risk to your emotional health

Best of luck and stick with it - but try to ease off on the pressure as much as possible. - Both the mental kind and the manual

fatchance09

I agree with above poster in that the more you worry about this the bigger an issue it will become and the more it will affect your sexlife. Be patient. Wait for the consultants opinion but in my experience the two are quite possible connected