He says we are friends.

LegacyUser

I was seeing someone for 6 months and he broke up with me for a couple of months and I think it was for the best at the time. For the past few weeks we have been seeing each other again, we seem to be drawn to each other.
Going to a family wedding this week on his side and have a couple of events lined up in coming months.
I've made it quite clear on a couple of occassions that I want a relationship again. He talks of us as friends at the moment but is open to talk about my feelings about things.
Is it a matter of giving it a little time again to see how things go and we can get comfortable again?

Miss Fluff

Secondchance wrote: »

I was seeing someone for 6 months and he broke up with me for a couple of months and I think it was for the best at the time. For the past few weeks we have been seeing each other again, we seem to be drawn to each other.............He talks of us as friends at the moment but is open to talk about my feelings about things.

Are you back having sex with him?

LegacyUser

Yes. I know the bog standard answer will be walk away once I've said that.

hornyfemale

I wouldn't say that. I would hope that seeing as he is bringing you to a family wedding he has a bit more interest in you than just friends "with benefits".
Either way you need to sit down and be honest with him about how you feel and find out exactly where you stand. It may save alot of heartache in the future.

LegacyUser

I have sat him down a couple of times and asked are we 'going out again' but he's reluctant to answer and call us more than friends. We text or talk every day. My friends who know our story tell me at this moment to just enjoy things for a little while and not put pressure on. Let's see what happens at the wedding I guess.

hornyfemale

If he is fairly adamant that you are just friends I'd withdraw nookie. I don't have sex with my friends. I think you might know where you stand after that.

SheRa

Secondchance wrote: »

we seem to be drawn to each other.

sex with an ex can be very powerful OP. it doesn't mean that its going to lead to the renewal of a relationship.

Secondchance wrote: »

He talks of us as friends at the moment but is open to talk about my feelings about things.

he's open to you talking about it! surely if he wanted to get back with you he'd be doing everything in his power to make that happen, and not just be patronising to you.

my god OP you really can do much better than this guy.

LegacyUser

Perhaps. He's a lovely man and very good to me otherwise. He's been a good friend. Perhaps see how things go till Christmas. The wedding will be a good guage of things to come or not to come

shellyboo

Secondchance wrote: »

Perhaps. He's a lovely man and very good to me otherwise. He's been a good friend. Perhaps see how things go till Christmas. The wedding will be a good guage of things to come or not to come

That's an extremely bad idea. Come Christmas, he won't be any more decisive, and you'll be resentful that he's been stringing you along for four months.

Talk to him, see where you stand. You have nothing to lose but sex, it seems. As someone else pointed out, you don't have sex with your friends... so if he wants to be friends, give him friends, but hold the benefits.

Wibbs

Bonkzone alert IMHO. The female equivalent of the trap many men fall into with friendzone. In the guy version, he hangs around her as a friend hoping for more and supplying emotional support. The woman version she hangs around him as a friend hoping for more and supplying sexual support. Both tend to end up disappointed. The other person gets what they want without the responsibilities of a proper relationship. A relationship they don't actually want. The other person will usually appear to keep the door open a little bit to keep the interest going. The stock angle is "maybe down the line/I'm not sure how I feel/I'm not ready for a relationship at the moment. Thing is down the line they bump into someone they are ready for a relationship with and the friend/bonkzone person gets left behind.

Remove the sexual element and see how "friendly" he is after a month. That should tell you pretty quickly what's what.

Beruthiel

You're clutching at straws OP.
IMO this is very black and white.
He is either interested in being with you, or he's not.
I'd basically be telling him to go away and decide.
I'd be telling him to stay away until he does.
I'd be telling him to not take too long about making up his mind either because I rock and will most lightly have been snapped up by some hotty if left on my own.

You are only treated like a doormat if you allow it.
Remember that.