marrige

amilo38

i am having releationship problems with my wife which is really putting me in a bad situation.

she has a good few sisters and they are telling her that she can do whatever / whenever she wants to do !
we have 3 children.

her money management skills are non existent . the loans we had were always in my name. she never contributed anything towards them. the last top up loans were put in both our names , but one of them she recieved the cheque but i have paid it back, i have only one payment left and i am loan free...... good for me .
her atitude is to pay little as possible to the lending agency, fob them off with some excuses.

that is the end of me getting any more loans to do anything to benefit her. i had to pay all in full and on time for last 10 years !! i have 100 % credit record, which i may need again myself at some future stage.

when i work at different jobs she gets 75 % of moneys and i get the rest, i still pay the loans. what truly amazes me that last year when she was working she never as much as gave me €1, and that is true for the last 16 yrs i know her. she never offered my any financial help whatsoever.

we are local authority tennents ,so i cannot leave the family home. i dont drink or smoke, i feel like a prisoner... i cannot take this any more.

her family are constantly interfering with my life, i want just to leave and for my kids to come with me

any advice

unhappy man

LegacyUser

Hi Amilo38,

Have you attempted to sit down with your wife and talk to her about her attitude with money? And her family intruding?

It's not acceptable for her to fob of credit agencies in your name or even in her own name. You were saying she gets 75% of the money YOU earn from different Jobs? So she was working last year and I'm presuming because of kids she is not working this year?

It's a tricky situation, but I think you need to lay down the law in the nicest way possible. If you can think of something that you might like to purchase in the near future- a new car, house or whatever you think of, you can explain to her that need to save some money for this, and won't be able to to keep giving her as much money as you are now.

You could also take a more direct approach and explain to her that she is not contributing one bit financially and could politely ask her when she intends on helping with this.

amilo38

she would stand behind her family no matter what , will not back me up against them. she works parttime but what she earns is her own !!
her family has no regard for people that try to educate themselves and have a better life. as one of my classmates said it is jealously on their behalf !!! their too stupid to be able for 3rd level !!

i returned to 3rd level education in 2006 and have just completeed my degree in may 2009, which i earned a distinction in final projects/ exams.her family made it as difficult as possible for me during that time, having refurbishment jobs in the our house done, and i had to do them as soon as the college term starts. the motif of this was to try and get me to fail my course... how nasty is that ?
i do not want her at my graduation cermony in november 2009 as i associate the people there with the students as the people that supported them in their studies.... which my wife did not support me.

i am returning for 4th yr hons degree in sep 2009 as i am doing well so far
and want to attain highest level possible so i will have better prospects in summer 2010. i really cannot listen to her any more. summer next year i will leave her. i need to see a soliciter to see legal implications of same.
i just need to have a life of my own. i have no hobbies or anything,all i do outside of college is stay at home and mind the kids, i love my kids very much , but also need some free time to my self to pursue my own intrests

:mad: