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Girlfriend is going to my debs, but not as my date!

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  • 29-08-2009 7:13pm
    #1
    x_mii
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    I was going out with my girlfriend for a year before we broke up at the start of July. We got back together about 3 weeks ago, but the problem is, during our "break", we weren't on speaking terms and I asked someone else to my debs. My girlfriend was also asked by someone to accompany them as their date and she accepted. We then got back together, but I obviously can't just uninvite my date, seeing as she's already all sorted and it would be too short of notice.

    So my question is, in regards to the photo, I'd want to get it with my girlfriend, but that'd be kind of rude towards my date, so should I just pay to get two photos?

    I'd also want to spend time with my girlfriend at the debs, but what about my date? She won't really know anyone else there, bar one or two (and still wouldn't know them well), and while her and my girlfriend aren't NOT friends, they really have nothing in common and have nothing to talk about, so them hanging around together would just be awkward for the two of them.

    Also, I don't want my date hanging around feeling weird while I'm there with the girlfriend, so I'm in a bit of a connundrum...

    :confused:


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    #2
    blubloblu
    Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭blubloblu


    Introduce your dates to each other?


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    #3
    Appleguy
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Appleguy


    You should just go with your girlfriend.

    Would both of your dates go together if you asked them? I have to be honest i wouldn't have any of that somebody else going to the debs with my girlfriend especially if i was going.

    Id tell the others (provided the debs isn't in the next week and all the clothes and stuff are already organized) that you wouldn't feel right going if you weren't with her if thats how you feel.

    Otherwise for the whole night you will be looking for your girlfriend and the other girl will probably have an awful time because no matter what your not really going with her at all even though you might think you are.

    Think about yourself. So what you will look like a bit of a cnut to two people but you will get what you want in the end, as will she if you do it tactfully.


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    #4
    ya-ba-da-ba-doo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 884 ✭✭✭ya-ba-da-ba-doo


    its a feckin debs.. go with the person you asked, your girlfriend is going already... the more the merrier.

    pay for two photos and just go with the flow stop getting run up about it it's just a posh piss up at the end of the day.


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    #5
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Appleguy wrote: »
    Think about yourself. So what you will look like a bit of a cnut to two people but you will get what you want in the end ...
    And getting what you want in the end, no matter who gets hurt in the process, is always the way to go! :rolleyes:

    OP, it's one night. No matter what way you play it, it's not the end of the world as you know it.

    Why not put a light-hearted twist on it, and joke that you're going as a foursome? ... with accompanying Groucho Marx eyebrow wriggling and a duurrty grin ofc! ;)

    Instead of two or even three photographs, why not get a nice one of the four of you?

    Encourage a couple of your friends and their dates to make a group with you at table etc. (which normally happens anyway) and ask them quietly beforehand to help you keep the craic going, and smooth over any awkward bits. Then the two girls won't be left feeling awkward if they don't know one another that well. Take both girls out for a couple of dances, and encourage your gf's escort to do the same.

    With a small bit of effort and common sense you can make this into a pleasant evening for everyone, with no-one getting hurt. And remember, it is only one evening!


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    #6
    Mr.Helpful
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭Mr.Helpful


    Ok as people have said go with the person who you asked. Yes it will be uncomfortable at times but hey at the end of the day, you'll be quite drunk by the end of night ( if your that way inclined) so you wont remember the awakwardness.

    Buddy, if thats bad, try me going to my debs with my ex, now thats a whole different connundrum, but sure we wont spilt hairs over it! :P

    Another piece of advice is go and enjoy yourself after all its YOUR debs not anyone elses!


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    #7
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Mr.Helpful wrote: »
    but sure we wont split hairs over it! :P
    If she's your ex, you're unlikely to be given the opportunity ... :pac:





    /hides :o


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    #8
    celtic723
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭celtic723


    Don't drink and you'll be a-okay. Drink ruins everything.


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    #9
    zonEEE
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,554 ✭✭✭zonEEE


    celtic723 wrote: »
    Don't drink and you'll be a-okay. Drink ruins everything.

    its his debs are you mad?


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    #10
    celtic723
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,211 ✭✭✭celtic723


    strongr wrote: »
    its his debs are you mad?

    No and fair enough. IF he knows his limits then by all means fire away otherwise i wouldn't advise it. But i'm only speaking from personal experience of course.

    Mine was last tuesday and never again will i drink.


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    #11
    Appleguy
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Appleguy


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    And getting what you want in the end, no matter who gets hurt in the process, is always the way to go! :rolleyes:

    Damn Straight.

    If he doesn't go with his own girl, he will end up having to put up with a load of bull**** from the other one for trying to hang with his own girl all night and leaving the other one alone. I'd say cut her loose.


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    #12
    *giggles*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 930 ✭✭✭*giggles*


    Just follow the Ross and his fine example of chivalry in The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappuccino Years:
    http://www.obrien.ie/TitleInfo.cfm?ExtractID=14


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    #13
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    And getting what you want in the end, no matter who gets hurt in the process, is always the way to go! :rolleyes:
    Appleguy wrote: »
    Damn Straight.
    God, I so envy your friends, family, etc. right now! :)


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    #14
    Homicidal_jesus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 529 ✭✭✭Homicidal_jesus


    celtic723 wrote: »
    never again will i drink.


    people say that way too much


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    #15
    MmmmmCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 357 ✭✭MmmmmCheese


    You can't go back on the other girl you asked now, especially if she has the dress bought and everything, that would be bad form.
    Also don't leave her on her own, nothing would suck more than being abandoned by your date at the debs, especially if she doesnt really know anyone!
    You could try hanging around with your girlfriend and her date as a foursome. And i agree with the person up there, alcohol would do a great job in loosening things up! (You know, if thats your thing.)
    All in all its only one night and not going with your girlfriend isnt the end of the world, you will have plenty of other nights together.


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    #16
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    Appleguy wrote: »
    Damn Straight.

    If he doesn't go with his own girl, he will end up having to put up with a load of bull**** from the other one for trying to hang with his own girl all night and leaving the other one alone. I'd say cut her loose.

    Christ, you have a duty of responsibility to the person you invite to an event. If you don't want to have to give a ****e about a date, then go stag. Try being a man instead of a worm.


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    #17
    FredBaby!
    Registered Users Posts: 182 ✭✭FredBaby!


    *giggles* wrote: »
    Just follow the Ross and his fine example of chivalry in The Orange Mocha-Chip Frappuccino Years:
    http://www.obrien.ie/TitleInfo.cfm?ExtractID=14

    Ha classic!

    while i wouldnt reccomend the above i'd suggest a group date (is that too american?!) Win win!


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    #18
    overmantle
    Registered Users Posts: 870 ✭✭✭overmantle


    Yeah, it's awkward but you're not married to your girlfriend. It could be very difficult on the night though for the other people involved, especially if they don't know many others. Do the honourable thing. It's just one night. You know what they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder .....


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