Can physical attraction grow??

LegacyUser

I recently met somebody who I went with out briefly when I was a teenager. He is now balding & is not slim but I got on so well with him it was amazing. However I am in no way physically attracted to him. I know that he was interested in me, so what I want to know is can physical attraction grow if it's not there initially? I really feel like I could talk to him forever (which is not my norm as I am fairly shy) but I dont find him attractive. Any opinions?

LegacyUser

It's a tough one OP. I have been in your situation a few times and for me the attraction never grew. I still think they are great guys but for me there has to be an attraction for something to happen. This attraction is usually noticed sooner rather than later. There are plenty of men from my teens that I found extremely good looking that are now men I would never even think of going for regardless of how sound they are. Sometimes the attraction goes unnoticed for a brief period of time, but I wouldn't be one to say that it grows. That is just my opinion though, I'm sure others will disagree.

jj99

No!!

If theres no physical attraction then theres prob no point IMO.

omahaid

Do u not find him a bit sexy? If not then.... I am not the most attractive guy going but my missus finds me sexy and it matters a lot. Every now and then the spark kicks in and we're weak for each other. Without it though.... It kills me to slag off another guy but if he doesnt do it then he doesnt do it, simple as...

tbh

in my experience, if there's no spark, there never will be. I've been on dates with models - honest to god models - and didn't feel any connection (even tho I really wanted to) and I've been with girls that could be described as plain (no oil painting myself btw) where I couldn't wait to rip their clothes off.

I have had friends who've been friends for ages with people and then realised they've fancied them, but it's never happened to me.

I don't think so.

mylittlepony

Maybe, maybe not.
He doesn't have to be physically overall attractive, what about his face or smile.
Does just looking at his face make you feel weak/ butterflies fluttering in your tummy / heart sick?
How do you feel when you see him or leave him?

If there is no feelings describe as above, then he is just a potential male best male forever - BFF.
As you get on brilliant with him.
But let him know where he stand, gently.

Queencake

There was a guy before that I was kinda friends with. I found out he liked me but I wasn't sure about my side of things because he wasn't my type physically. I didn't feel physically attracted to him initially but I loved talking to him and he was such a sweet guy. BUT from the first kiss - POW! Sparks all over the place. I've more sexual chemistry with him than any other guy. Nearly two years later and I can't believe I nearly missed my chance because at first glance he wasn't what I thought I wanted.

I don't know if chemistry can "grow" as such. But sometimes you need to take the plunge. I reckon a kiss can reveal a lot.

NickNolte

From a guy's point of view - I don't think he'd be too interested in being with you either if you don't find him attractive. *Normal* men and women aren't all that different in that regards. Sure, there are plenty of fat, bald, ugly men out there, say who have loads of cash, who are happy to have a blonde bombshell hanging off their arms, knowing that she's only with him for his money. That's an exceptional case though. Assuming yourself and this guy are both normal, genuine people, I'd assume that this guy would have no interest in persuing a relationship with you if you didn't find him attractive.

Obviously I don't want to speak for the guy but it's certainly how I'd feel. Not that I'm not sunningly beautful of course.

SarahSassy

I think you want us to tell you it can grow and it can... When I first met my ex I was not sure but it did grow and is still there... Give him a chance but dont lead him on for ages if its not coming...

eveie

i would be of the opinion that it can grow, ive known many men that i didnt find attractive at all, but when i got to know them i became very attracted to them. attractiveness is not just how the person looks but its how the person is, personality can make the uglyiest of people very attractive

Emme

It all depends on the situation. Do you really want to be in a relationship? How old are you yourself? I know I'm going to get slated for this, but the older a woman gets the harder it is to find a decent guy. If you're 30 or over and you really want to be in a relationship I would say yes, it's worth persisting for a while to see if attraction grows. Good guys don't grow on trees and they get snapped up very quickly. Go on 3 or 4 dates with him to see if things get better. If they don't then don't waste his time or hurt his feelings and move on as painlessly as possible. Good luck.

LegacyUser

you need to have a certain level of attraction and it wouldnt be fair to either to you to get together if its not there. carry on as friends and who knows maybe down the line your feelings will change but don't get his hope up in the meantime.