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Rufus.T.Firefly

A guy tells his psychiatrist:

It was terrible.

I was away on business, and I wired my wife that I'd be back a day early.

I rushed home from the airport and found her in bed with my best friend.

I don't get it.

How could she do this to me?

"Well," says the psychiatrist.

"Maybe she didn't get your telegram."

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The Best Engine

A notable gynaecologist once said,

"The best engine in the world is the vagina.

It can be started with one finger.

It is self-lubricating.

It takes any size piston.

And it changes its own oil every four weeks.

It is only a pity that the management system is so fookin temperamental."

Capt'n Midnight

If you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. It really works. Just take a few seconds & focus on each step...

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "The World."
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.

. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

8. See, you're smiling already.

Gelio

Ooops I made a post by accident