The Gay Radar

superblue

I'm in my mid teens, so i guess you could say young, but mature for my age due to a difficult upbringing.

I'm gay, and have never had a boyfriend, and I know at my age there are people realizing their sexuality isn't completely heterosexual. But how do I pick people out who are gay (or bi guys) at this age? What do I look for? And do I approach them? If so, how?

Any advice would be great, but also share your stories as teens, as us younger users have a better idea in how to deal with such a situation.

Think about when you were my age, 14, wouldn't you have done anything for this kind of advice. So please, help me, and others like myself, how do we get a boyfriend this young? We've got to start somewhere

Boston

When I was 14 all my mates where straight. When I was 18 most of my mates where gay or bi, and now at 24 I find it hard to think of a single person who I'd consider conventionally straight. The people haven't changed, just a general maturing of attitudes towards sexuality.

I've no idea how to tell, for me it worked better to simply let it be known i wasn't hetro.

MultiUmm

Tbh, I'd be very careful on who you'd approach about being gay. There is no real way to identify other gay people in public at any age really, after all, gay people are just people.

While you may be mature for your age there are unfortunately a lot of people in their young, mid, late teens or w/e who aren't very mature or comfortable with their own sexuality. If you approach even a close freind who isn't comfortable with it they could well go around telling everyone, thus leading to a lot of drama. :rolleyes: "Aww didja hear he's gay like??? Omg I know like I just found out!"

As impossible as it might sound to you now, I think you're best off not worrying about getting a boyfreind straight away, sure you'll have loads of time in the future for that anyway. And like I said before, it's hard to tell who's gay and who isn't, so you've no real way of knowing prospective boyfreinds.

Coming out to a close family member or anyone who you can trust with anything can really take a load off your mind. I came out to my immediate family a few months ago and it was really a weight off my shoulders. Unless you have some freinds you could trust with your life, I wouldn't go telling any casual acquaintances yet. Maybe 5th or 6th year when most (well, some people anyway) have matured a bit.

Well that's just my 2c, hope it helped a bit.

superblue

MultiUmm wrote: »

Tbh, I'd be very careful on who you'd approach about being gay. There is no real way to identify other gay people in public at any age really, after all, gay people are just people.

While you may be mature for your age there are unfortunately a lot of people in their young, mid, late teens or w/e who aren't very mature or comfortable with their own sexuality. If you approach even a close freind who isn't comfortable with it they could well go around telling everyone, thus leading to a lot of drama. :rolleyes: "Aww didja hear he's gay like??? Omg I know like I just found out!"

As impossible as it might sound to you now, I think you're best off not worrying about getting a boyfreind straight away, sure you'll have loads of time in the future for that anyway. And like I said before, it's hard to tell who's gay and who isn't, so you've no real way of knowing prospective boyfreinds.

Coming out to a close family member or anyone who you can trust with anything can really take a load off your mind. I came out to my immediate family a few months ago and it was really a weight off my shoulders. Unless you have some freinds you could trust with your life, I wouldn't go telling any casual acquaintances yet. Maybe 5th or 6th year when most (well, some people anyway) have matured a bit.

Well that's just my 2c, hope it helped a bit.

Yeah, thanks for the advice.
Like you say come out to a few of your close friends, I have already done so, and I'm lucky enough that they were really cool with it.
I know what you mean about waiting until older, but you know, its just good to know someone in the same situation as you who you can relate to. I can trust those who I came out to, and I do, its just... well they aren't gay!

MultiUmm

superblue wrote: »

Yeah, thanks for the advice.
Like you say come out to a few of your close friends, I have already done so, and I'm lucky enough that they were really cool with it.
I know what you mean about waiting until older, but you know, its just good to know someone in the same situation as you who you can relate to. I can trust those who I came out to, and I do, its just... well they aren't gay!

That's true, it would be ideal to know someone else around you age who was gay as well, but realistically you wouldn't find many other 14 year olds who are out! It takes an enormous amount of courage to do so, and a lot of people don't find that courage til' they're older and have matured a bit.

As long as you have a few people who are supportive of you is the main thing, orientation regardless.