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Feel not good enough for anyone.

  • 28-08-2009 11:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    I've a problem with confidence I guess but mainly self image. I see mylsef as being really ugly and not good enough for anyone.

    It affects me in lots of ways work, being shy, meeting new friends.

    But especially approaching girls. I'm at the point where I hate going out as I see so many nice girls I'd love to go chat to but I just don't feel in any way good enough for any of them.

    I don't know if you'd call it a fear a phobia, some other sort of problem.

    It's getting toomuch for me and I want to solve it but I dont know how. Is there anyone out ther who can help in terms of who I could visit or a course or a book, anything that can make me get over this and start meeting people again.

    Thanks all.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'd say you should start taking baby steps. Like next time you see a nice girl just smile at her. Start smiling more in general - I think it really makes people look more approachable. Then once you get used to this, start saying hi. Get friends to introduce you to people. You have no reason to feel inadequate - no one person is 'better' than the next.

    Not sure of any books in particular but I am sure there are many dealing with confidence issues. Maybe speaking to a professional could help. I have often found that fake confidence can eventually turn into real confidence. Sorry I couldn't help more - just didn't want your thread to go unanswered. Good luck. :)


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Do you know why you feel so negatively about yourself? Everyone has at least some attractive qualities and are attractive to some other people, it's irrational to think otherwise.

    Would you consider speaking to a counselor about your negative body image? Try and work back to where it came from?

    Maybe look up a few books about self-confidence and self-esteem & see if they help any. Do you partake in any activities? Could you meet people and practice social skills with girls on a territory you feel more comfortable?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It probably came from years or people putting me down through school, ex girlfriends, being harrassed by exes and their friends, losing friends of my own.

    I hate how I look and hate how I am.

    I do smile and try to say hellop but nobody cares or likes me in the slightest. Its not easty to keep it up faking it for years when behind it all its just worse and worse.


  • #5
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    What do you mean you hate who you are? Do you want to change who you are as a person?

    Try looking at your life with less negativity/from a different angle..

    You've had girlfriends before - you will do so again. You made friends before & you will make more. It's not all bad & I don't think it's possible for EVERYONE not to like you, it's more likely that you have convinced yourself of that because you feel so negatively.


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