Overheard in Dublin

xxmarymoxx

Future WAGS
Walking through Penneys in Omni, Santry and two girls (velure tracksuits, high pony tails, the works) are shopping.
Blonde girl: "I'd love dat dress, but me legs will look huge in it."(bare in mind she was about a size 8)
Brunette: ""all ye need is a birre confidence Amy. You don't want to be payin for yer own drinks all yer life, do ye?"
Overheard by Jessi, Omni, Santry.

Take That!
At the 'Take That' concert in Croke Park . The queue outside the ladies during an interval was very long. Not wanting to miss the show a few care-free ladies decided to avail of the under-used Gents facility, but were surprised to be met by a guy in his thirties complaining... "What the F*** are ye women doing in here in the gents toilets?" Most were quietly embarrassed but were delighted to hear a young Dublin lady respond.. "What the F*** are you doing at a Take That concert?" before watching the guy squirm back out the toilet door with no more to say for himself.
Overheard by Paul Greham, Did'nt hear it meself obviously. The wife was telling me.

Strict Dress Code!!!
Two lads from Dublin (dressed in snickers gear!) making a delivery to a Dunnes Stores in Cork . The manager stops them at the back door and tells them they cant come inside without a hi-vis vest on.
"No problem" says the older fella, "Can we just borrow two from the store while we drop the stock off?"
"Ah no" says the manager "that's only one issue. I cant let yis in dressed like that lads, it's slacks and black shoes only."
With that the younger fella comes out with a classic: "Jaysus, we're not trying to get into a f**king nightclub!"
Overheard by Daithi, Dunnes Stores, Cork

Asking for it
Mary Harney election poster in Finglas - political slogan "Don't throw it away!" ...added speech bubble "I'll eat it!"
Overheard by Ciara, Finglas

Great aunt
Sitting on the Luas a woman in her early 30s comes on screaming down the mobile phone
"I don't effing care how long you're with her...you're only 19 for eff sake and that young wan is what...16? but that's not even what is really p*ssing me off you've made me a great aunt at the ripe old age of 32 ya little B*****d."
Overheard by Sarah, Jervis stop

Recession Busting
Was on the 150 bus at christchurch the other day were there was 3 shams taking their time to cross the road (you know the type, smokes in there ear, tracksuit bottoms tucked into the stockins)anyway as the bus was hurdling towards them the driver pops up and shouts 3 for the price of 1, what reccesion???
The whole bus was in hysterics.
Overheard by patrick, 150 bus

Monday Blues..
First thing in the morning, double science. Junior cert revision yeoooo..
Anyway, biology..human reproduction.
*Teacher* What happens to make babies people?!
*Class* Looks to desk.
*Teacher* Ok, Ok what the first thing we need.
*Student down back* Alcohol.
Class and Teacher crack up..bloody brilliant!!
Overheard by Ginge!!, School

Don't mess with the bus pass holders
On Dublin bus, at bus stop a little old lady gets on to enquire when her next bus will be arriving:
Old lady to driver: "Will the next bus be long?"
Smartass Driver: "About the same length as this one luv"
Old Lady(without a moments hesitiation): "Really? And will it be driven by a little bollicks like you?"
Overheard by Maeve, Dublin bus

Nothing But Time
Was at a petrol station last night at around 12 with my mate. We were sitting in the car, when this women comes up and asks "Do you know if there is a shop open this late where I could buy a childs bottle?" and I reply "Yes, there is a 24 hour Tesco up the road there." Then she asks "Would it be open now?".
Overheard by Sean, Drogheda

How to empty a LUAS
On the Luas coming out of town one afternoon during the week. As we got to Blackhorse the driver made an announcement
"Ladies & Gents there are 2 plain clothes ticket inspectors getting on at this stop so could you please have your tickets at hand for convenience thank you."
When we pulled up to the stop 2 people did get on and about 50 got off and stood on the platform, clearly waiting on the next Luas.
When we pulled away the driver got back on the intercom, laughing and said
"I was only joking, there's no such thing as a plain clothes ticket inspector, I just wanted to see how many people got on without paying!!"
Overheard by Lynn , On the Luas