Single and need new friends?

singletoolong

Don't really know if this is the right place to post but here goes!
I'm a guy in my late 20's and I'm wondering is there something wrong with me, I'm reasonably intelligent, treat people well, reasonable looking etc. but I seem to have zero luck with the ladies of late.
Basically, for the last couple of years I've met women who aren't interested/downright rude and generally just had a lot of bad luck..I think I'm a nice bloke but I don't the bul**** games/treating em mean to keep em keen business that seems to work.
I was in a long term relationship in my early 20's, ended badly from my point of view and the last little while I'm beginning to wonder was that it, maybe I'm just not cut out for relationships etc...I don't seem to attract women and I've stopped trying with them because I've had no joy.
It's like I'm invisible, even though I meet a lot, there is little doing..
On top of that of my close circle of friends, three of them are in long term relationships and as they are moving towards the whole settling down/wedding/mortgage direction we've got little in common now..
They aren't available for drinks at weekends due to relationships, they do 'couple nights' and one of two of their girlfriends regard me as a bit of a dangerous influence as I'm single..I kid you not..recently there was a night out and it was made clear that it was a couples night and my face didn't fit..
Just wondering has anyone else been in my position re 1. women and 2. friends moving in different directions, and what can I do?
Should I just dump those friends and get new ones?
One part of me is thinking re the friends, we are just going to see less and less of each other as things progress, and equally I'm panicking wondering am I just immature or something, because unlike them, I'm still in the single vibe thing and haven't 'conformed'..
Interested to see what you guys think..

LegacyUser

Nothing wrong with you. 36 myself, still single, but enjoy my life. Most of my friends are married, or have kids, or both. Same story as you: reasonably good looking, good job, sociable, etc. If your friends don't accept you the way you are, get new friends.

My only advice would be: enjoy life as much as you can, do anything and everything you like and can afford, get out there, meet new people. You can't force anything.

Oh, and women do "smell" desperation. So just don't worry too much, grab every opportunity that comes along and you'll be fine.

Millie

Nothing at all wrong with you!
I am 36 and in a relationship for the past few months, which has been my first relationship in years.
I too thought I wasn’t cut out for being with someone else but I guess that’s a form of protection.

You never know what’s around the corner….
Chin up.

Mighty_Mouse

I think I'm a nice bloke but I don't the bul**** games/treating em mean to keep em keen business that seems to work.

IMO Nice polite, mannerly guy doesnt work on its ownr. ie unless there is more going on behind it.

Also what a man wants from a relationship doesnt change from the age 17-60.
What women want does. Especially from mid-20's onwards.
What are your interests, activities? What are you involved in? What have you done with yourself over the years? Whats your plans for the next few years? Have you a good job, cash to enjoy a late 20's 30's lifestyle? If not have you made plans to get some? etc etc etc
ie women like a story & a guy that they feel is independant & up and running,

Plus if after reading the above you find yourself wanting to get "more involved" in the community then you'll meet more people......whats your skillset? Is there anyway you can volunteer with it? Have you done charity work? Is there a local festival in your town (always need helpers)? Does the local community centre, youth club need helpers, what are you interests? are they women friendly? is there anything you always wanted to try? martial arts? kayaking? water sports? Boat/sailing club? Drama/theatre club in local area?take up yoga (seriously hot chicks)................etc etc etc etc.....ie more than just join a gym, 5 aside ............ Chicken-Egg...

santana75

singletoolong wrote: »

Just wondering has anyone else been in my position re 1. women and 2. friends moving in different directions, and what can I do?
Should I just dump those friends and get new ones?
One part of me is thinking re the friends, we are just going to see less and less of each other as things progress, and equally I'm panicking wondering am I just immature or something, because unlike them, I'm still in the single vibe thing and haven't 'conformed'..
Interested to see what you guys think..

Yeah Im in the same situation as you OP. I see my friends less and less because they are dating/engaged/married. Just last week I was meant to go to the cinema with one friend but he sent me a message on the day saying he couldnt make it because he was going to the cinema with his girlfriend instead. I was pissed off but what can you do? Not the first time either, Ive been excluded/not invited to a fair few things because I dont have a girlfriend. Its the way of the world and if you dont conform you get left behind. Its difficult to go out for drinks at the weekends when your friends are off with their girlfriends so socialising is a problem. I think its mostly a male situation though because I know that if a girl is single her friends wouldnt abandon her. I just heard about this exact thing last week. One girl out of a group was single so the rest of the group would take her out at weekends or do classes with her or whatever she needed. And she'd only been single for 3 months!! That kind of thing doesnt exist for men.
Anyway Ive hijacked your post OP so I apologise. Just to let you know youre not alone, others are in the same boat as you.

mood

I'm in the same boat and I female! I don't get that couples night idea. You can't choose you friends based on their relationship status.

From a female point of view get to know girls as friends first might help. Not a lot of girls will want a guy who just want to get into their pants!

G-Money

mood wrote: »

From a female point of view get to know girls as friends first might help. Not a lot of girls will want a guy who just want to get into their pants!

I'm not saying this is bad advice for the OP but he needs to be careful. As a guy, I think if you meet a girl and start out as friends hoping that something more will happen, you are almost guaranteed to be disappointed. I'm not saying you have to jump into bed with them straight away but I think if you give the impression of just wanting to be friends it will be hard to shake off, especially when you get fed up listening to her talk about other guys that she likes.

My own advice is to never look for friendship with a girl you know you want to be more with. You'll just end up getting burnt.