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Are we better off apart??

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  • 27-08-2009 1:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hey all,

    my bf and I have been going through a very crap time with the last few months. just constant arguing about mostly stupid stuff and one or two bigger problems,,
    anyhow again last week it started again, and when i was home he txt me saying he had had enough and that we were finished... I have believed this all week so i did not contact him, then yesterday i got a txt telling me he over-reacted.. i told him i needed some time to clear my head and agreed to meet him tonight...

    i have been with him 3 years and I am at a loss as to what to do.. does anything ever really change????? cause I know i cant keep going the way we are. I am a beleiver that everything happens for a reason, so I was thinking of saying to him that we need time apart, as i think it will give us time to realise what we want... im afraid that if we stay together that nothing will change and ill be in the same dilema 3 years down the line not knowing what to do,,, does anyone have any experience of this, any advice would be greatly appreciated...


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    #2
    Dinxminx
    Registered Users Posts: 848 ✭✭✭Dinxminx


    It doesn't change. I was with a guy for three years that sounds a bit like yours and it never changed. In the end I cut him loose and left him to his own devices, and now I'm with a lovely guy and couldn't be happier!

    Your OH is supposed to make life easier, not harder. Please remember that.


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    thanks thats kind of how im thinking, like we have great times together but i just dont think it should be this hard,, what kind of made up your mind for you in the end if you dont mind me asking?? its just on the other side of things 3 yrs is a long time - i need to know im making the right choice,,, im all over the place really


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    #4
    dearg lady
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,091 ✭✭✭dearg lady


    Breaking up with you by text after 3 years was pretty low, and then having realised his mistake, not immediately rushing to your side but instead another text seems a little odd, but evn that aside, ye are obviously having some problems anyway.
    What might be useful is to take a few weeks apart(I don't mean a break so ya can meet other peeps) just tiime where you don't see or contact each other.
    Talk through your feelings to people you trust during this time and decide what's best for you. If at the end of it you decide to stay together, you need to agree concrete plans to stop the constant arguing.
    Hope you get it sorted soon OP


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    anyone i have spoken to all come up with the same ans, cut your losses!!! this has come from both family and friends,, he has been my longest relationship and the first person i can honestly say i love with all my heart, i really think thats why its so hard..


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    #6
    zero_nine
    Registered Users Posts: 158 ✭✭zero_nine


    You both deserve better.

    Me and my ex-GF went through the whole "trying to make it work" thing a few times. I loved her a lot but it was clear it wasn't working.

    I agree with cut your losses. Its hard as hell I know, but eventually you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

    I met someone much more suited for me now. I still have affection for my ex, but know that I'd never have been fully happy with her.

    Just LEAVE!


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