i'm the Grinch that stole Christmas

LarMan

So feeling a little bad as I told my 10 year old son that there was no Santa last night and I did not get the reaction I expected.

It all started when he began to loose a baby tooth molar. I decided now was the time to tell him there was no such thing as the tooth fairy and I told my wife waht i was going to do. When the tooth came out I asked him what he was going to do with it. He said he was going to place it under his pillow. As he is 10 now and just about to go into 4th class I felt he was too old to believe in the Tooth fairty. I then told him there was no Tooth fairy, and he was fine, he said he had guessed that.

So I decide to push it (my mistake it turns out) and I say do you have any more questions. He does what I expected him to do and asks does Santa exist. I say "you are looking at him". He then says "are you joking" to which I reply "No".

My expectation was that as he is a clever boy and very interested in science he would have already had doubts and that this would be just confirming those doubts. However the reality is that he did not have doubts and did still believe.

He did not cry or get upset, but it was what he said next which really stung "There is no more magic in Christmas". As someone who loves Christmas and still thinks it is magical, this is what hurt the most.

Anyway I know he will get over it but I can't help feeling I've robbed him of something even if it would only have been for another year or two.:(

Mr Magnolia

Ouch.

Maybe think of a way to treat him with something special this christmas, doesn't have to be money spent it could just be time doing something new together. Perhaps ask him to think about something he'd like to do or get into? Bring him out and treat him tonight or at the weekend if you can to soften the blow maybe too?

Carroller16

LarMan wrote: »

So feeling a little bad as I told my 10 year old son that there was no Santa last night and I did not get the reaction I expected.

It all started when he began to loose a baby tooth molar. I decided now was the time to tell him there was no such thing as the tooth fairy and I told my wife waht i was going to do. When the tooth came out I asked him what he was going to do with it. He said he was going to place it under his pillow. As he is 10 now and just about to go into 4th class I felt he was too old to believe in the Tooth fairty. I then told him there was no Tooth fairy, and he was fine, he said he had guessed that.

So I decide to push it (my mistake it turns out) and I say do you have any more questions. He does what I expected him to do and asks does Santa exist. I say "you are looking at him". He then says "are you joking" to which I reply "No".

My expectation was that as he is a clever boy and very interested in science he would have already had doubts and that this would be just confirming those doubts. However the reality is that he did not have doubts and did still believe.

He did not cry or get upset, but it was what he said next which really stung "There is no more magic in Christmas". As someone who loves Christmas and still thinks it is magical, this is what hurt the most.

Anyway I know he will get over it but I can't help feeling I've robbed him of something even if it would only have been for another year or two.:(

Hilarious ... poor kid

Hellrazer

It nearly killed me when we told our 10 year old about Santa.I think she cried for a week.But she was 10 going on 11 and her friends were slagging her over it since I think she was the only "believer" still left in the group of friends.We were going to try hold out for that extra year aswell but it wasnt worth the slagging she was getting about it.

Im like you OP I love Christmas and to see their faces on Christmas morning is the best feeling in the world.This year we still have 3 believers but I think next year it might be only the 2 younger ones(1 and 2) who we`ll get a few years out of yet.


God I hope theres no kids reading this forum.

pickarooney

Uy... well, this day had to come sooner or later and it's better this way than through some merciless teasing from the other kids in school making him die of embarrassment as well as having no more Santa to believe in. I still don't know if we should tell our ones if there is a Santa Claus or if it's worth having a few years of fantasy before the heartbreak.

Toto Wolfcastle

The magic can still be there. The youngest in my family is 18 and my mother still gets excited about Christmas, still talks about Santa, and for a long time got us to write letters. You can make Christmas magical for your son by what you do at Christmas time. (Although don't confuse the child! )

taz70

A friend of mine's 10 or so year old daughter came home from school one day and sat her father down for a "serious talk". She told him that some kids at school were telling her that there was no such thing as Santa and that she wanted him to be straight with her and tell her the truth. He asked if she was really ready for the truth and with the straightest of faces she drew breath and said she was. He said "I'm sad to say they're right, there's no such thing as Santa". She glared at him (in that way that kids do as if to say, "gawd, you're so dumb!"), stood up and said "the TRUTH, Dad. I asked you for the TRUTH" and stormed up. We supposed that she wasn't really ready after all!!

Jenroche

Congratulations OP. You've scarred your child emotionally. When he grows up he's always going to remember the day you killed his innocence. Is it not bad enough that TV, advertising and pop culture in general are slowly eroding the number of years kids have to actually just BE kids? Great parenting! :mad:

Jen ;->

pickarooney

Jenroche wrote: »

Congratulations OP. You've scarred your child emotionally. When he grows up he's always going to remember the day you killed his innocence. Is it not bad enough that TV, advertising and pop culture in general are slowly eroding the number of years kids have to actually just BE kids? Great parenting! :mad:

Jen ;->

You sure you didn't use the wrong smiley there?

loismustdie

Jenroche wrote: »

Congratulations OP. You've scarred your child emotionally. When he grows up he's always going to remember the day you killed his innocence. Is it not bad enough that TV, advertising and pop culture in general are slowly eroding the number of years kids have to actually just BE kids? Great parenting! :mad:

Jen ;->

pay no attention op, you did what you thought was right and to be honest mayne it was right, if you had lied to him when he asked maybe a year from now when he found out the truth it may scar him even more emotionally to know that you'd lied to him a year ago. perhaps the above poster has been lucky enough to never err since she can cast so much judgement, but for those mere mortals among us we hav boards to rant and seek advice

Dades

Jenroche wrote: »

Congratulations OP. You've scarred your child emotionally.

Jeez. Remind me not to tell you when I tell my children there's no gods.

LadyJ

Was babysitting some kids a while back and the eldest was 10. She started talking to me about Santa and I told her that I got an email from him last year and that he'd brought me lots of cool stuff etc. She glared at me suspiciously and said "But I didn't think Santa came to old people!" (I'm 23) I was outraged and said "Well he comes to me every year!" Then she said "Well he doesn't come to my mam and dad!" So, panicking mildly, I just looked at her and said, stoney faced, "Well..... They mustn't be very good...."

She looked half horrified, half like she was going to burst out laughing.

nesf

Jenroche wrote: »

Congratulations OP. You've scarred your child emotionally. When he grows up he's always going to remember the day you killed his innocence. Is it not bad enough that TV, advertising and pop culture in general are slowly eroding the number of years kids have to actually just BE kids? Great parenting! :mad:

Jen ;->

Eh, are you serious? If you are, then take your opinions elsewhere please. If you're not, then please remember that text does not carry tone and often it's hard for people to tell if you're joking or not and that you should try harder to make it obvious.

nesf

I don't think anyone in my family made it past 6 or 7 before figuring it out. Maybe we were born cynical or something.

Time Magazine

I asked for "The Truth" at the age of 4.

nesf

The Economist wrote: »

I asked for "The Truth" at the age of 4.

And your parents told you? No wonder you're so messed up..

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

nesf

eVeNtInE wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Maybe I'm unusual in this (but I'm curious to know), I wasn't in the slightest bit bothered. I'd figured it out around 5 and had confirmed my suspicions by 6 and told my parents that I knew what was going on but promised not to tell my younger siblings.

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

Sleepy

Think I found out at about 6/7 but played along for a few years to avoid the chat eVeNtInE had... I sometimes think I was smarter at that age!

I wouldn't worry too much about it LarMan, I can't imagine a ten year old not getting excited by Christmas once the hype starts building up in school, on the television etc.

TargetWidow

I asked at 5 and my parents denied it and proceeded to "hire" a man with a proper beard to noisily deliver the stuff in a Santy costume in the middle of the night and let me wander in and "catch" him. Risky because they hadn't managed to "hire" any reindeer, but he let me sit on his lap (that wouldn't be allowed today for starters!) and pull his real beard and answered all my questions and then sent me back to bed.

I was 12 before I found out for real. I fought tooth and nail with anyone who told me otherwise in the schoolyard and never regretted it since. The manner in which I found out was the bit that scarred me a little but only because my faith was so strong... My dad just took me shopping for toys before Christmas for the 3 other smallies at home and then on Christmas morning those same toys were being opened by them as having been delivered by Santa. No-one really said anything. I was gutted. My nana brought Dad up alone but married to an abusive alcoholic with the local priest constantly trying to get dad and put him into "care" and had no money so she shoved Dad up against a wall before christmas and screamed at him that there was no Santa. He was only a very young 6. My Dad was determined not to let the magic die for us because of that. TBH I don't really know if there is a nice way to do it. I know that every parent does their best.

Theres lots of magic to life outside of material possessions and Santa. Show him that instead OP and go easy on yourself.;)

itz me

i think you were right to sit your son down and tell him now...i remember at the age of 8 all my friends were sitting around in a circle having a everyday chat when the santa word was said i got all excited and was about to blurt out that i couldnt wait till he came and that i had wrote my letter early just incase he was busy, when all of a sudden my friends started laughing about how he wasnt true and how we all should know by now that our parents were santa...i just started laughing with them cause if i didnt laugh i would have cryed..i went home abit later and fought with my mam about telling me lies and making a fool out of me...i'll never forget it

Crumble Froo

i know i'd figured it out by 5 or 6, but never let on until my parents tentatively broke it to me when i was about 10. totally nonplussed by it. it was kinda nice the first year that they knew i knew, cos i could actually thank them for the amazing presents.

my cousin though, i think had got picked on for still believing, and freaked at his parents for lying to him all that time. threw a total hissy fit, and his little brother did the same thing when he found out a few years later.