what do i do?

Graceabeth

i'm just 21 and i have been in a relationship for the past ten moths, in the beginning it took me a while to settle into, its not the most fulfilling relationship in the world but it has its moments, i really like my boyfriend and its a simple, uncomplicated relationship in a lot of ways , my boyfriends isnt the best when it comes to communication so its really hard to express my feelings and get a reaction. My bf is 27 and he isnt very fond of going out socialisng when i ask why he simple reponds "been there and done that, now you can go off and play". so being indepent women i do and as a result i have met someone else, but now i dont know what to do i can't imagine hurting my boyfriend, but what am i supposed to do?

lynnmarie

Your only young, you deserve to be going out and falling madly in love with someone.. Not really liking someone after 10 months in an unfulfilling relationship with a man who doesn't even want to go and enjoy himself with you...

your obviously not 100% happy... If being afraid of hurting your boyfriend is all thats holding you back, dont be he's a grown man he'l get over you in his own time..

nedd

If you weren't satisified with your BF you should have broke up with him. Not cheat on him. Shame on you.

dearg lady

OP didn't actually say she cheated, only that she met someone...I took it to mean she met someone she liked but nothing happened cos she hasn't sorted out feelings about the boyfriend...maybe I'm just wearin my rose tinted specs tho!

As regards your issue OP, he's hardly ancient, he's 27, is there any other reason for him not goin out, money or anything? If he just can't be bothered that doesn't seem good.

I think everyone deserves a fulfilling relationship and you shouldn't have to settle for a just OK relationship. From your post it sounds like neither of you is really that pushed about it, and you might be as well to move on. I wouldn't worry too much about hurting him, it's a unfortunate fact of life that many relationships finish and people do get hurt, but they get over it.

ManOfMystery

Graceabeth wrote: »

i'm just 21 and i have been in a relationship for the past ten moths, in the beginning it took me a while to settle into, its not the most fulfilling relationship in the world but it has its moments, i really like my boyfriend and its a simple, uncomplicated relationship in a lot of ways , my boyfriends isnt the best when it comes to communication so its really hard to express my feelings and get a reaction. My bf is 27 and he isnt very fond of going out socialisng when i ask why he simple reponds "been there and done that, now you can go off and play". so being indepent women i do and as a result i have met someone else, but now i dont know what to do i can't imagine hurting my boyfriend, but what am i supposed to do?

I think it's obvious your bf isn't giving you whatever it is you need and you're at different stages in your lives, which is common when there's bit of an age difference - even when it's only 6 years between you. In reality, there's sometimes a huge gulf between the thinking of a 21yr old who wants to go out and experience life, and someone who's 27, already done a few years of partying/etc and is perhaps starting to slow down a bit.

It also sounds like emotionally, your bf is not fulfilling you - hence you responding to some other guy. You shouldn't really have cheated (emotionally or otherwise), but c'est la vie. It's also apparent that even after being together for 10 months, it doesn't seem like you're in love - in your own words, you only 'like' him. It sounds almost like you're trying to find reasons to stay with him - I think its time now for you to move on.

Graceabeth

hi its the op here, thanks for the feedback it really helped me and it just confirmed everything that was already on my on mind.