The ex

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I'll stay unknown here if u dont mind!

As the title says this issue is about my ex. We were with each other for approx 5yrs. Had a great time when we were together but due to work commitments and travel we settled in two different counties! We hadn't spoken in nearly 12 months as she fell into a relationship and I felt I would be waisting my time trying to swing her my way as she's a very loyal woman!

Ok long story short, was out this weekend having a great laugh and I got a txt from her buddy asking me to meet up with them, I replied back and said yeah I was out but heading clubbing! The friend replied and said great we'll see u there and say hi!!

Anyway, met herself and we got on great, chatted about the good times, and shared a taxi home! No kiss, but a great laugh was had! I txt her that night sayin it was great we me, delighted to see you but I'm still mad about u! Actually I lie and said Love! She replies back saying, I bet you say that to all the girls!! (Smart Ass!)

So I'm wondering here.....
i) Why did I get a txt if we hadn't spoken in a year?
ii) Why was she so delighted to see me, is there potential here again??

Thanks, feed back greatly appreciated!!:D

Wibbs

Possibly. Did she mention any boyfriend? Given that the breakup appears to have been situational more than emotional you're in a better position than most ex relationships. The reason you split is no longer there(I presume).

I think the best option is too ask her to meet up, just you and her. A date scenario too. See how she reacts. She could just be very comfortable with you because of the length of time spent together and just sees you as a close friend. Ask her out and find out.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for the reply!

No you see she's still in that relationship! She's actually living with him for the last few months! I heard things aren't going so well, he's a fair bit older and isn't much craic!

But I cant actually ask her out if she's in a relationship. Or can I.....

Wibbs

It could be she's getting itchy feet and the grass of the past is greener, or she's well past that and just sees you as a mate and thought what you texted was banter. Though if she did she's a bit daft. I dunno, see if she texts again.

As for her relationship, yes that's a problem but if she wants to leave then that's up to her. Many people stay in relationships rather than be single. I would say IMHO that goes triple for many women. I can think of any number of couples that started when the woman involved was at the tail end of a previous relationship and that was the final push for her.

Wait and see basically. Maybe text her yourself and see if she replies. You know her well enough by this stage so you should have a good idea if she's interested or not.

Ver.3

sounds to me like shes thinkig about breaking up with him...but thatd make you a rebound n nt sure thats good if u wnt it to work long term.

Wibbs

Or the current guy was the rebound after a 5 year long relationship. I'd say that was objectively more likely TBH.

Pyr0

Wait and see how things work out with her current relationship. Don't push things, if she leaves him and wants to get back with you then it'll be that much better than you trying to convience or sway her to your side.

Play it cool and see how it goes !

PK2008

Not to be harsh but I dont see anything in your post that suggests she wants you back.

Her buddy was the one that texted you and when you told her you still loved her she fobbed you off..

Id say leave it alone

Chinafoot

PK2008 wrote: »

Not to be harsh but I dont see anything in your post that suggests she wants you back.

Her buddy was the one that texted you and when you told her you still loved her she fobbed you off..

Id say leave it alone

+1

Her reply of "I bet you say that to all the girls" was, to me anyway, a way to brush off the comment while keeping things friendly. You went out and had fun. There was no kiss so I wouldn't go reading too much into it tbh.

As for why she was so delighted to see you...well by the sounds of things you didnt end on bad terms. Why wouldn't she be happy to see someone she spent 5 years with? It doesn't mean she wants you back.

You've told her how you feel now. You know shes in a relationship so don't push her. Keep it friendly and reconnect with her as friends.

LegacyUser

Fair point I suppose, but what wrecks my head is the fact her buddy was so pushy! and tells me the follows day, that she was trying to play cupid?? Did I miss the boat or what?

Well I know I wouldnt have jissed her anyway as she's a bf and aint into that ****e, so me being said I'd let her off without throwing the head in, for fear of being knocked on my ass!!

Another thing, she knew everything about my past, women I've been with etc.

PK2008

Have a word with her mate- she'll give you the low dont on your ex.

She might be winding you up, you never know.

Chinafoot

Her friend could very well be trying to play cupid but that doesn't mean your ex wants you. Sometimes people can get ideas into their heads and no amount of protestations to the contrary will dissuade them. I've seen this in my own group of friends too. One very well meaning girl takes it upon herself to try and fix up mutual friends despite one or neither having any inclination.

That could very well explain why her friend was 'pushy' as you put it. Had they been out in the pub long before texting you? Few drinks at home getting ready? I wouldn't read too much into it.

As for her knowing about your relationships since you broke up...people talk and some people like nothing better than a good old gossip. For about 3 years after myself and my ex split i was being informed of all his exploits. I had no more interest in what he was at but i was told regardless.

Bottom line is that she's in a relationship. Stop over analysing and enjoy reconnecting with her.