Me 25, She 18...too young?

LegacyUser

Need your opinion here. I'm so exhausted trying to make this decision. Its really only what other people will think thats bothering me!

lolli

No, I wouldnt think thats too much of a gap. Once shes over 18 i dont think it should matter.

I think if you are suited has more to do with maturity level than age to be honest. If your on the same wavelength then go for it.

Otis Driftwood

Personally speaking thats too big of an age gap based on the fact she is only 18.

Queencake

Yup, I agree with the last poster (edit: lolli) - it's largely down to whether ye are on the same wavelength.

However if you care a lot about what people will think (friends, family, co workers etc) then it will probably get to you. People make assumptions about couples especially ones where there is an obvious age gap. For example: that the older guy is using the girl, or is only with her because she's young and impressionable, or maybe that she is with him because she's got daddy issues. Yup a lot of dangerous and/or silly assumptions. It's not fair but c'est la vie.

Eve_Dublin

Hey OP....you'll get people on here saying yes it is or no it's not. People WILL judge (if they find out), course they will. That's what people do, even if they don't mean to...but then they'll get used to it and it'll become old news. The question is not whether the age gap is too big, it's if you can handle the nattering behind your back 'till the novelty wears off. Can you?

If this girl is worth it, then go for it. As I said before, it's hard to meet someone you click so why sabotage a potential love or potential disasters before it even begins??

Miss Fluff

I think it's a pretty big gap. In saying that, if she is mature and doesn't behave in a really adolescent manner then at least it's legal. People will probably slag you about it.

A girl I used to hang around with when we were 17 was going out with a 26 year old guy. We lost touch years ago but I got a wedding invite in the post last week via my parent's place INVITING ME TO HER WEDDING TO HIM.....15 years later!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies...pretty wise answers. To clarify, she not an immature 18 year old or anything and in fact doesn't look 18, probably more like 20.

Also, I'm not gonna be a pr**ck or anything...I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't cool. In other words, its not for the novelty or anything.

Eve_Dublin

age_difference wrote: »

Thanks for the replies...pretty wise answers. To clarify, she not an immature 18 year old or anything and in fact doesn't look 18, probably more like 20.

Also, I'm not gonna be a pr**ck or anything...I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't cool. In other words, its not for the novelty or anything.

Then go for it. People will talk...you know people :rolleyes: but they'll stop talking in time.

nikkiplc2001

hi op, i wouldnt be worried about the age gap at all, once ye are both happy that is all that matters, when i started going out with my bf (4years ago) i was just gone 19 and he had just turned 26, we never had a problem with it neither did our friends or family and we are getting married next year, so in my opnion op i think you should just go for it.

LegacyUser

I think I will.

I mean, life is beyond critisism...and for damn certain I'm not knowingly hurting anyone so why not??

Thanks again for the replies

LegacyUser

I am 26 nearly 27 and my gf is 20. I was 25 and she just gone 19 a week when we met.

I had the same thoughts as you but I just said "fk it, life is short", and went for it, and havent looked back. Together a year now and I'm mad about her still, we just clicked, very rarely argue or anything. Its great.

I completely forget about the age gap most of the time except when I say "remember the gumibears " or something and she's like "huh?"... then it hits home and I'm like "damn" or when someone reminds us that I was in 1st year at college when ye was in first year in secondary school......

But if ye are tuned in together, you won't even notice the age gap, believe me.

You'll have nay sayers, but fk them OP, go for it. It could be the best relationship you were ever in as it was for me and indeed nikki above too, with her fella.

XarcherX

She's not too young, it's not as big a deal as you think...
my ex was 7 years older than me and i met him when i was 17, we were together for 5 years and maturity wise, the age-gap was never a problem (and it wasn't the reason we split & were still friends now)... there were a few comments here and there but my family liked him and vice-versa... if they're your friends they won't care so f**k everyone else...
the one thing i will say is that you should walk into this with your eyes open, if it does get serious, she may in a few years want to go out and experience new things, go travelling etc. etc. so just be prepared for that.

KittyeeTrix

age_difference wrote: »

Thanks for the replies...pretty wise answers. To clarify, she not an immature 18 year old or anything and in fact doesn't look 18, probably more like 20.

Also, I'm not gonna be a pr**ck or anything...I wouldn't consider it if she wasn't cool. In other words, its not for the novelty or anything.

I was 18 when I met my partner who at the time was 23..... I pursued him but even though he was interested he wouldn't do anything about it as I looked very young for an 18 year old.....and he looked older..
However, I was persistent and finally he went out with me. That was almost 17 years ago and we are now happily married (most of the time:D)
with 4 children ranging in ages from 15 down to 7....

If you like her and she likes you, my advice is to go with the flow and see where it takes you:)
We did and we have ended up in a pretty nice place

LegacyUser

Go for it .I met a girl when I was 23 she was 17 beautiful inside and out and a model .

We hit it off at a 21st and started going out together . Nobody cared because I knew her sister and we got on excellent .

As a result of her modelling she was very streetwise, clever and bright (I kid you not) .It lasted 3 yrs and I regretted breaking up with her.

rallye

I was in a similar situation to the OP, exact same age gap.

The one bit of advice i will give is that girls at that age are generally an emotional rollercoaster, they dont know what they want.

I was with my ex for a year and a half, she was crazy about me but i wasnt the best of boyfriends, chose to go drinking with the boys instead of her etc.. believe me i have learned from my mistakes but she broke up with me.

We are still having on/off moments, i truly believe she does not know what she wants and the reason for this is her age. I have refused to get back with her as i want her to live her youth, if this means her dating loads of guys and realising when she reaches 25 that its still me she wants then great.

You should still go for it though but bare the advice above if things start to get serious!

Chucky the tree

I'm 24 and I'd never think about dating an 18 year old, grand for a ride but thats it. circumstances will make it difficult imo. If shes in college and you still work don't expect to see her to often and she'll probably want to spend her summers traveling while you cant. Tbh I always felt it very selfish of older guys dating yougner girls as no doubt the younger girls lost out a lot in life due to that fact.