Anyone know any short jokes as gaeilge?

Dublinteens

Hi Everybody,
Just wondering does anyone know any short jokes as gaeilge?

Would really like to hear them as I need them for a project.

Slan!
Ciaran

Hagar

Níl aon thoin tinn ná do thoin tinn féin.


That's all I got.

tuxy

Here's two I know of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELeN2-1m5m4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387LTgiadjw

Homer

Here's one to get you started! Irish with english translation below each line!

Bhí Pádraig agus Michéal sa teach tabhairne ag ól agus bhí siad go maith.
Pat and Mike were drinking in the pub and they were feeling good.
Bhí siad ag feachaint tríd an bhfuinneog ar an teach transna an bhóthair.
They were looking out the window at the house across the street

Teach flapachain b'ea é.
This was a house of prostitution.

Thánig duine nó béirt, ó am go ham, agus tríd sa doras t¡ leo.
One or two people came from time to time, and went in the door of the house.

Ansin chonaic Pádraig an tUrramach Protastantúnach ag teacht agus isteach sa teach leis.
Then Pat saw the prodestant minister coming, and go in the house.

"An bhfuil sé gan náire, fear Dia mar sin?", arsa Michéal.
"Doesn't he have any shame, a man of God like that?" said Mike.

Ansin tagann Raibi Giudach agus isteach sa theach leis.
Then a Rabbi comes and goes in the door.

"An bhfuil sé gan náire, fear Dia mar sin?", arsa Pádraig.
"Doesn't he have any shame, a man of God like that?" said Pat.

Ó bhí sé ag éirí deanach, d'éirigh Pádraig is Michéal, d'fhág siad síneadh láimhe, agus amach leo.
Since it was growing late, Pat and Mike got up, left a tip and went out.

Ansin chonaic siad an sagart ag teacht agus isteach sa teach leis.
Then they saw the catholic priest coming and he too went into the house.

"Is trua sin", arsa an bhéirt. Is doigh liom go bhfuil duine de na caíliní bochta istigh tinn.
"It's a shame," the two of them said. I suppose one of the poor girls inside is sick

Tá an sagart ag dul a cuir Óla Dheanach uirthi.
The priest is going to administer the Last Rites."

Dublinteens

Thanks a mill any more welcome!

MelonieHead

Here's one, nice and short.

Two republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

It works best with the mix of languages, as the punchline is a pun in English but if you need it all in Irish here is the translation:-

Dhá republicain iad ag siúl síos an bóthair i mBéal Feirste, nuair a fheiceáil siad fear seasamh i gcoinne balla.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

The Big Red Button

MelonieHead wrote: »

Here's one, nice and short.

Two republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

It works best with the mix of languages, as the punchline is a pun in English but if you need it all in Irish here is the translation:-

Dhá republicain iad ag siúl síos an bóthair i mBéal Feirste, nuair a fheiceáil siad fear seasamh i gcoinne balla.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

Ooooohhh I get it now! Had to say it out loud first

Hagar

Beirt not dhá. Other than that, maith go leor.

MelonieHead

Hagar wrote: »

Beirt not dhá. Other than that, maith go leor.

Agus an D'oh!