CSI and the ridiculous nature of what is going on

Kipperhell

I was watching CSI the other night and I just couldn't stop laughing as it got more and more ridiculous.

There are a few general one that I simply don't get about every episode

1) Why is the lab guy interviewing the suspect
2) They threaten people at the drop of a hat many times the person in question is not guilty
4) Anything with video imagery seems to be fiction especially the "cleaning" up of an image. Absolute clarity in seconds no effort involved
5) Most episodes involve a confession as the proof they cobbled together doesn't look like it would stand up in court
6) Why do people act as if they are intimidated by a shot little red haired guy who speaks in puns?
7) The way they talk to each other is either incredibly rude or overly personal.
8) Turn on some lights in the lab and maybe you wouldn't need to use a torch so much

There are but a few anybody else feel the same way?

mikom

ronnie3585

Kipperhell wrote: »

1) Why is the lab guy interviewing the suspect
2) They threaten people at the drop of a hat many times the person in question is not guilty
4) Anything with video imagery seems to be fiction especially the "cleaning" up of an image. Absolute clarity in seconds no effort involved
5) Most episodes involve a confession as the proof they cobbled together doesn't look like it would stand up in court
6) Why do people act as if they are intimidated by a shot little red haired guy who speaks in puns?
7) The way they talk to each other is either incredibly rude or overly personal.
8) Turn on some lights in the lab and maybe you wouldn't need to use a torch so much

Because it's sh*t.

/End thread.

humanji

ronnie3585 wrote: »

Because it's sh*t.

/End thread.

Nonsense. It's great!

OP, you forgot to mention how Horatio is head of a crime lab, lead investigator of all Miami crimes, designated sniper for SWAT, designated bomb disposal export and I think was once sent to central America to take on some criminals there. He's like Arnie and MacGyver had a love child!

The fact that it doesn't make sense is what makes it watchable, ironically enough. It puts David Lynch to shame.

nevey

humanji wrote: »

The fact that it doesn't make sense is what makes it watchable, ironically enough. It puts David Lynch to shame.

A TV show that ends up being ridiculous through 1-dimensional characters, weak scripting and convoluted story-lines can't be compared to a David Lynch type show which aims to be enigmatic and surreal. I don't have a lot of time for DL either, but I'd watch a lot of Twin Peaks before I'd subject myself to an episode of CSI.

My one real gripe with the show is the way that they explain the scientific techniques they are using to each other as a way of explaining it to the audience. It's a really clumsy device.

humanji

nevey wrote: »

A TV show that ends up being ridiculous through 1-dimensional characters, weak scripting and convoluted story-lines can't be compared to a David Lynch type show which aims to be enigmatic and surreal. I don't have a lot of time for DL either, but I'd watch a lot of Twin Peaks before I'd subject myself to an episode of CSI.

My one real gripe with the show is the way that they explain the scientific techniques they are using to each other as a way of explaining it to the audience. It's a really clumsy device.

I think that's hilarious when they do it. It makes you wonder if any of them are fully qualified to do that job if each week a procedure has to be explained.

Namlub

nevey wrote: »

My one real gripe with the show is the way that they explain the scientific techniques they are using to each other as a way of explaining it to the audience. It's a really clumsy device.

To be fair, I don't see what other way they could explain the terms, it's not like medical dramas where they use laymans terms to explain things to the plebs...

AlmightyCushion

The funniest was when there was a murder in a skyscraper. In the end they found out someone was sing a video camera in a skyscraper across the river and it just so happened to be facing at the window the murder was committed. Unfortunately all we could see in the video was a silhouette. What do they do? They run a facial recognition software on it. This **** is unreal.

MarkR

I watched one episode of CSI NY. They had grainy cctv of a person looking at a crime. And they did it. They focused on his eyeball, and did the magic zoom in and make **** up that one single pixel can become a clear image of their bad guy. Could have been done on the miami one too though I think. They always seem more ridiculous then the Las Vegas one for some reason?

kippy

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

The funniest was when there was a murder in a skyscraper. In the end they found out someone was sing a video camera in a skyscraper across the river and it just so happened to be facing at the window the murder was committed. Unfortunately all we could see in the video was a silhouette. What do they do? They run a facial recognition software on it. This **** is unreal.

You haven't seen that software yet? Its class.


I love CSI, despite it being you're typical drama in that there are umpteen overkilled parts which are patently not accurate. If you want accuracy watch one of the "real" CSI series'on discovery.
Its far better than those hospital dramas where music plays over every conversation, doctors and nurses openly discuss their lives in front of patients and theres generally one main character who survives almost unnatural situations (Grey drowning) and survives without an issue.

AlmightyCushion

kippy wrote: »

You haven't seen that software yet? Its class.

Facial recognition to a certain degree isn't too unrealistic. But running a facial recognition program on an outline of someone's face and getting an exact is so far beyond retarded it's hard to contemplate.

irishcsifan

kippy wrote: »

I love CSI, despite it being you're typical drama in that there are umpteen overkilled parts which are patently not accurate. If you want accuracy watch one of the "real" CSI series'on discovery.
Its far better than those hospital dramas where music plays over every conversation, doctors and nurses openly discuss their lives in front of patients and theres generally one main character who survives almost unnatural situations (Grey drowning) and survives without an issue.

i am massive fan of all the shows. but csi miami can really annoy sometimes when their doing a lab scene and toward the end horatio just appears out of nowwhere in the background. Do they just wheel him in or what?

kippy

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Facial recognition to a certain degree isn't too unrealistic. But running a facial recognition program on an outline of someone's face and getting an exact is so far beyond retarded it's hard to contemplate.

Sorry, I was being sarcastic.
Fully agree with you.

AlmightyCushion

kippy wrote: »

Sorry, I was being sarcastic.
Fully agree with you.

D'oh. I get what you were saying now.

steve 0

Have to admit, I've always enjoyed the original, New York is decent and everyone knows Miami is a live action adult cartoon.
Miami drinking game sums up every episode

Take a swig when
* David Caruso delivers a ridiculously dramatic line, most often directly before the theme song
* Any known cliche is quoted or misquoted by any character
* Khandi Alexander talks to a corpse
* Delco juts his jaw in anger
* The first time (per outfit) any character is wearing white pants
* David Caruso turns his head from left to right (or vice-versa) without lifting his chin
* Anytime the camera zooms inside someone's body
* Any completely ridiculous use of technology aka "air DNA", unrealistic GPS use, etc.
* David Caruso is overly paternal to a victim (extra drink if he calls them "son")
* A CSI agent has knowledge that is key and coincidental yet, out of their believable realm of knowledge. i.e knowing from a shoe imprint that the shoe is no longer in production- or how to speak Chinese-or where some mud is from based upon a photograph etc:
* Horatio is referred to as "H"
* Anyone completely admits to a crime after less than 3 questions from a CSI. (bonus drink for being without a lawyer)
* Gratuitous bikini shot (extra swig if it's on a boat)

Chug an entire drink when
* Horatio is able to deliver a complete line with his head entirely upright
* Whenever there is a montage of forensic science set to music with no dialogue

AlmightyCushion

steve 0 wrote: »

Have to admit, I've always enjoyed the original, New York is decent and everyone knows Miami is a live action adult cartoon.
Miami drinking game sums up every episode

Ah come on. You'd be hammered after about five minutes.

fryup

anyone been to the exhibition in dublin?? is it worth going to see??

any of the cast there??

the_syco

Kipperhell wrote: »

4) Anything with video imagery seems to be fiction especially the "cleaning" up of an image. Absolute clarity in seconds no effort involved

Each episode is an hour, so an entire season could be cleaning the picture in real time...

Kipperhell wrote: »

6) Why do people act as if they are intimidated by a shot little red haired guy who speaks in puns?

They're afraid of catching the ginger off him? :P

=-=

Still like it though. The ginger is has less waffle than the fat guy in NY or Vegas.

It's not meant to be factualy correct. It's meant to be entertaining, and pass an hour.

girlbiker

steve 0 wrote: »

Have to admit, I've always enjoyed the original, New York is decent and everyone knows Miami is a live action adult cartoon.
Miami drinking game sums up every episode

* Khandi Alexander talks to a corpse

:pac:So true, she's always stroking and calling the victims baby - "what happened to you baby, poor baby, its over now baby", I'm sure she hops on and makes mad passionate considerate sympathetic love with the corpses when they're left alone.

ScumLord

I can only watch Miami now, I used to watch the original but ever since Miami came along and made a mockery out of the hole premiss of the format the others have become unwatchable as they just take themselves to seriously.

Their just taking it further and further, Horatios latest ability is teleportation. I thought he was a bit hard core when he went to Brazil the second time and

just shots a load of people, he shows no mercy I think he's getting badass in his old age.

I love all the shows flaws, like the bad guy crumbling after being asked 3 questions and shown a bit of evidence.

Kipperhell

I forgot one that really bugs me. The computers they use for some reason are completely unlike anything anybody has experience using. Just the font type and manner of display is so unbelievable. They might as well use a Batmobile as a cop car.

The Wire all the way.

thorbarry

fryup wrote: »

anyone been to the exhibition in dublin?? is it worth going to see??

any of the cast there??

yea, anybody been to it? I think they have video from cast members in character

ben bedlam

In 20 years, people will look back on CSI and in the same way we see shows like Miami Vice and Magnum P.I. cheesy, people will wonder how this cheesy, putrid tripe ever had any following.

Damo1174

Kipperhell wrote: »

I forgot one that really bugs me. The computers they use for some reason are completely unlike anything anybody has experience using. Just the font type and manner of display is so unbelievable. They might as well use a Batmobile as a cop car.

The Wire all the way.

I could be wrong, Im not a csi fan, but any scenes i have seen could be realistic if they were using linux...

Now here is something stupid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU

and I cant find the episode but they mentioned an ip address being something like 320.x.x.x ....wft..?!?

themont85

thorbarry wrote: »

yea, anybody been to it? I think they have video from cast members in character

I was supposed to go but got held back in work:mad: Heard it was good but from a CSI/geeky computer geek so I presume its decent.

mink_man

its good!

matrim

ben bedlam wrote: »

In 20 years, people will look back on CSI and in the same way we see shows like Miami Vice and Magnum P.I. cheesy, people will wonder how this cheesy, putrid tripe ever had any following.

And then we'll have CSI : The Movie

WaltKowalski

What's the story with CSI NY?? Is it finished forever or just for the series??

Dolbert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948

:pac:

JP Liz

WaltKowalski wrote: »

What's the story with CSI NY?? Is it finished forever or just for the series??

That was the series finale only

sh1tin-a-brick

Quote:
Take a swig when
* David Caruso delivers a ridiculously dramatic line, most often directly before the theme song
* Any known cliche is quoted or misquoted by any character
* Khandi Alexander talks to a corpse
* Delco juts his jaw in anger
* The first time (per outfit) any character is wearing white pants
* David Caruso turns his head from left to right (or vice-versa) without lifting his chin
* Anytime the camera zooms inside someone's body
* Any completely ridiculous use of technology aka "air DNA", unrealistic GPS use, etc.
* David Caruso is overly paternal to a victim (extra drink if he calls them "son")
* A CSI agent has knowledge that is key and coincidental yet, out of their believable realm of knowledge. i.e knowing from a shoe imprint that the shoe is no longer in production- or how to speak Chinese-or where some mud is from based upon a photograph etc:
* Horatio is referred to as "H"
* Anyone completely admits to a crime after less than 3 questions from a CSI. (bonus drink for being without a lawyer)
* Gratuitous bikini shot (extra swig if it's on a boat)

Chug an entire drink when
* Horatio is able to deliver a complete line with his head entirely upright
* Whenever there is a montage of forensic science set to music with no dialogue


Ha ha!! You would be off your f**kin face within ten minutes! For me Wolfe is the only watchable Miami character (at the best of times). Even that was spoiled for me by those luminous green, orange and yellow shirts and ties he is suddenly attached to.

I love NY though. Can't get enough of it! Vegas was good untill half the cast left, they day Nick and Greg leave I won't be watching.

Neamhshuntasach

Most of what is seen on the CSI shows is scientifically possible. It's just that the time line is unrealistic and the cost of their techniques would never be approved. Especially when they use them as trial and error. Also half of it would be circumstancial and unadmissable in court. But since it's only a 40 minute show i suspend that reality and quite enjoy them although Miami is different from the other two.

sh1tin-a-brick

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

Most of what is seen on the CSI shows is scientifically possible. It's just that the time line is unrealistic and the cost of their techniques would never be approved. Especially when they use them as trial and error. Also half of it would be circumstancial and unadmissable in court. But since it's only a 40 minute show i suspend that reality and quite enjoy them although Miami is different from the other two.

They have a real forensic scientist behind the scenes to help keep it down to earth. And in fairness it's a drama! Just TV entertainment, and I think it delivers what it should.

Horatio scares the ****e outta me though! Whoever cast him in that character has some serious issues!

Richard Dower

H is a legend!.....i could watch him for days. I like the fact he has real empathy for women and kids.

Neamhshuntasach

But you'd end up digging the head off him if you tried having a conversation with him. It's like soundbites is the only language he speaks.

Our man in Havana

I love the way they can run a full 50 state check on a fingerprint in like 10 seconds.

tech77

nevey wrote: »

My one real gripe with the show is the way that they explain the scientific techniques they are using to each other as a way of explaining it to the audience. It's a really clumsy device.

A slightly more sophisticated version of "What's that, Lassy? - Jimmy's trapped down a mineshaft", if you will.