Little Known Facts About Penguins

Rufus.T.Firefly

Did you ever wonder why you never see dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?

Ever wonder where they go?

Wonder no more.

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguins have a very strong community bond.

They are very committed to their family and will mate for life.

They also maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the freshly-dug grave and sing....






"Freeze a jolly good fellow..."

_SONIC_

good one rufus.

keep on chuckin em out!!

jd83

very good

Hagar

Another little know fact, polar bears never eat penguins.






They can't get the silver paper off.


Me, coat, door...

Mahatma coat

some amazing footage of Penguins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dfWzp7rYR4

Hagar

A penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman "Was my brother in here last night?"
Barman says "I dunno, what does he look like?"

Homer

I wrote a book on penguins.

With hindsight, I realise that paper would have been easier.

dak

Why are penguins great racing drivers?

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Because they are always in pole position !

Hagar

Another little know fact, polar bears never eat penguins.






Penguins live at the South Pole and Polar Bears live at the North Pole. Fact.


Me, coat, door...

Homer

A man drives into a petrol station and the attendant comes out to fill up the car. Looking into the back of the car the attendant sees 2 penguins and he says to the man, "what are they doing there?"

The man replies, "I found the by the side of the road and I don't know what to do with them"

"Why don't you take them to the zoo?" says the attendant. "What a great idea" says the man, pays for his petrol and drives off

The next day the man returns to the petrol station and the attendant comes out again to fill up the car, he looks into the back and sees the penguins are still there, "I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!" he says,

"I did" replied the man, "We had a great time. We're off to the museum now!":D

Oliverdog

Rufus.T.Firefly wrote: »

Did you ever wonder why you never see dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?

I've wondered this every day of my life, and it's a load off my mind to have this mystery cleared up at last !

MickyMoo

What do Penguins have for lunch? Icebergers.

pebbles21

*NEWSFLASH*

A Penguin and a Giraffe escaped from Dublin zoo today,Gardai are looking high and low for the animals:p

Jay P

Hagar wrote: »

Another little know fact, polar bears never eat penguins.






They can't get the silver paper off.


Me, coat, door...

Actually, *pushes glasses up on nose*, Penguins come in a plastic wrapper :pac:

Capt'n Midnight

Jay P wrote: »

Actually, *pushes glasses up on nose*, Penguins come in a plastic wrapper :pac:

it's a very old joke.



Where do penguins go to dance? ........ the snow ball


Q: Why did the penguin cross the road ?
A: To go with the floe




Q. What's black and white and has eight wheels?
A. A penguin on roller skates.






"No, no," the penguin replies, "It's just ice cream."

Homer

The 7 dwarfs are all excited as the new pope is visiting fairy story land.
All week they nudge Dopey sniggering "Well you can finally ask your question!", to which Dopey replies every time "Shurrup willya!"
Finally the day arrives and all the dwarfs are lined up with the other characters from the Snow White story, he shakes hands with the evil Queen, then Snow White then slowly makes his way down the line of the dwarfs.
As he approaches Dopey theres a small chant which gets louder and louder "Ask him.ask him...ask him ASK HIM>!"
"Ask me what?" Questions the pope.
The dwarfs shove Dopey forward "ASK HIM!",
"What would you like to know?", says his holiness.
"Well", begins Dopey, "Are any of your nuns black?"
"Hm" ponders the pope "As a religion we catholics don't differentiate between creed so its more than probable that quite a few of our nuns are black . Does that answer your question?"
ASK HIM!! shout the dwarfs.
"Is there more to your question young man?"
"Erm......do any of your nuns work in Antarctica?"
"well young man we have nuns all around the globe so its more than likely that we have a couple in Antarctica. Does that answer your question?"
ASK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yell the dwarfs!
"Is there more to this question?" asks the pope now getting more than annoyed.
"Erm..................................are any of these black nuns in Antarctica dwarfs?!
"WHAT"! Splutters the pope.
"I'm sure if we had a black dwarf nun in Antarctica i would have heard of it. So in answer to your question NO!"
All the dwarfs collapse on the floor pissing themselves laughing.
"DOPEY SHAGGED A Penguin!! DOPEY SHAGGED A Penguin!!"
**

Capt'n Midnight

Capt'n Midnight

Capt'n Midnight

dak

Why were the producers afraid to cast penguins in star wars ?

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Because the Emperor alsways strikes back !



Runs and asks to be beamed into space