i think i want him back

LegacyUser

I broke up with by ex 2 years ago and we've only seen each other once since, I broke it off and i'd say I also broke his heart. I had to do it as his drinking became a big problem between us and I couldn't be bothered with it anymore. We were both 25 at the time.

Roll on 2 years...we've been in touch by text only of late, and I can't get him out of my head. I really miss him, more than i did when we'd just broken up. It's like a VERY delayed reaction! We text very general stuff about what we got up to at the weekend, music, films etc that we both like, nothing at all linked to "us" as a couple or the good old days.

I don't know if he is with someone, I don't know that much about his life now only that he was away travelling for a year, but all I want is to ring him up and tell him I want to see him and talk to him - and i don't mean a big "us" talk, just to talk and have a laugh and see how he is and what's going on with him - and see how it goes really. I just can't stop thinking about him, we got each other and had so much in common - we had plenty of differences too in terms of background etc but that kind of added to the whole thing.

So I don't know if it's fair to try and rekindle things, or even if i want to. What if i realise nothing has changed and i end up hurting him again. Or what if he doesn't have the least bit of interest in me or meeting me anymore? Am i being selfish and should i just keep it to myself and forget him? Any advice appreciated.

Thanks

Wagon

Keep things friendly for now and suggest it to him when you know whats going on with him a bit more. If he has a girlfriend for example, leave him alone and never bring it up.

ultimately, because he was the one that was dumped, its his decision whether to try again or not. so when you are sure that he has his drinking sorted out or when you are sure that you can move past those probelms you had before, suggest it to him.

but if he says no then accept it. personally if someone broke my heart id never take them back. maybe he feels the same way on this so dont get your hopes up.

CDfm

Why don't you just call him OP.

LegacyUser

I was the one dumped from a recent long term relationship. Recently my ex has made overtures to meet up but so far I have resisted. I am still hurt by the break up, obviously not over the trauma or moved on yet so I know even a catch-up meeting would be too hurtful for me in the circumstances.

Now your circumstances seem different in that two years have passed so maybe it is a time when you both could get together without the heat of post break-up fire still in the air. As for having any hopes of taking it forward into a relationship again, I think that is very tricky territory and you all should tread carefully on that. If you broke his heart like my was broken, it will take a long time to mend.

VaioCruiser

Hi OP ...

I think you ought to get it out into the open for a start. So call him and chat about his travels and how he is .... etc.. a good cover for sussing out his status.

If you still want him then there is no shame in that ...

However .. I would suggest that you suss out what exactly his situation regarding alcohol is before you allow yourself to get drawn in. It obviously caused you a lot of pain and anguish before and you don't want to go though that again

All the best.

muboop1

Agree with VaioCruiser completely,

Couples can break up for years and get back together.

Happens all over the world,

thing is, for it to last, the problem that initially broke you up must be resolved in some way.

Also bare in mind, he spent a year travelling etc... he might of changed a bit.

Meet up, have a coffe or something.

Specifically NOT a date until you suss him out!