Always Picking the Wrong girl..?

LegacyUser

This is my problem,I always seem to like girls that are always in a relationship,Be it long term or just a few weeks but I always get along best with these(before I know that they aren't single) and these are always the girls I could actually see something happening with..

We get along with each other have the same interests etc etc and it's always those that aren't single,And the one's that are single and actually like me I'm rarely ever attracted too..And I don't want to do anything with these girls as I'd rather not hurt them..

Why am i so messed up?!

Also not sure if this should be in the relationship's sub forum as it's not a relationship issue?

wolfric

why would there be something wrong with you? Unless you're turning down single girls because they're single then it's just chance. Then again it's classical of humans to want what they can't have... so it creates drama and people are attracted to that.

Try figure out exactly what you want... it sounds like you haven't figured that out yet... whether it's to get a single girl or whether it's trying to justify going out with one that's already taken

Eve_Dublin

Unregistered wrote: »

This is my problem,I always seem to like girls that are always in a relationship,Be it long term or just a few weeks but I always get along best with these(before I know that they aren't single) and these are always the girls I could actually see something happening with..

We get along with each other have the same interests etc etc and it's always those that aren't single,And the one's that are single and actually like me I'm rarely ever attracted too..And I don't want to do anything with these girls as I'd rather not hurt them..

Why am i so messed up?!

Also not sure if this should be in the relationship's sub forum as it's not a relationship issue?

I don't think you're messed up, OP...I think you've fallen upon one of the great quandaries of life..."Why is it always the good ones that are taken?". I think everyone knows what this feels like and for some reason, people seem all the more attractive when they're in relationships because I suppose they have that "Forbidden Fruit" aspect to them. Perhaps knowing nothing can ever happen between the two of you makes it all the more appealing?? I don't think you can say that people who are in relationships have more in common with you, it's the very fact that they're in a relationship that makes them attractive. I wouldn't worry about it...plenty of nice singles out there...you just haven't met them yet.

TheGreenGiant

Hmm I am/was in the same boat. I used to hate myself because like you I got on great with girls that were in relationships(when they finally told me lol) but then things don't seem to click with single girls, until I meet one recently. Really like this girl, like have soo much in common, just don't think she wants a relationship at the mo but we both like each other. Its just about meeting the right person. You never know when they might turn up, as in the case with me. Life has lots of suprises, you just have to go for it

LegacyUser

wolfric wrote: »

why would there be something wrong with you? Unless you're turning down single girls because they're single then it's just chance. Then again it's classical of humans to want what they can't have... so it creates drama and people are attracted to that.

Try figure out exactly what you want... it sounds like you haven't figured that out yet... whether it's to get a single girl or whether it's trying to justify going out with one that's already taken

For any single girls I just act like I'm not interest(if I don't like them) because I'd rather not go into a relationship where the feeling are only held by one person..

I would understand if it was the 'want what you can't have' thing,But I've liked this girl before I knew that she was in a relationship and then when I find out,It just depresses me cause it seem there's just no point in bothering about doing anything about my feelings.

My ideal situation would be that if this particular girl I like was single but she isn't and to me that's just a no go zone as she's obviously quite happy with who she is with..

LegacyUser

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I don't think you're messed up, OP...I think you've fallen upon one of the great quandaries of life..."Why is it always the good ones that are taken?". I think everyone knows what this feels like and for some reason, people seem all the more attractive when they're in relationships because I suppose they have that "Forbidden Fruit" aspect to them. Perhaps knowing nothing can ever happen between the two of you makes it all the more appealing?? I don't think you can say that people who are in relationships have more in common with you, it's the very fact that they're in a relationship that makes them attractive. I wouldn't worry about it...plenty of nice singles out there...you just haven't met them yet.

As said in my other post,It's usually only after I've developed the feeling for the person and would like to do something about it,I find out that this person is in a relationship..

I didn't say/mean people in relationships have more in common with me,It just seems the people that I feel I've clicked with are in relationships and the relationship is a very unattractive part for me,It's everything else about the girl I like..

Ok an example,Girl who like me,We've known each other for quite a while although we are friend I can only see us as friends and I'm happy with that,We're good friends and it's nice to have good friends,She likes me and has told me but I honestly don't feel the same way

Next,The girl I like,Although I don't know her that well I just got along with her (at a party) could comfortably chat with her and felt like I could be myself and got along really well but then somehow or other i find out she's in a relationship and that just annoys me

LegacyUser

TheGreenGiant wrote: »

Hmm I am/was in the same boat. I used to hate myself because like you I got on great with girls that were in relationships(when they finally told me lol) but then things don't seem to click with single girls, until I meet one recently. Really like this girl, like have soo much in common, just don't think she wants a relationship at the mo but we both like each other. Its just about meeting the right person. You never know when they might turn up, as in the case with me. Life has lots of suprises, you just have to go for it

That's what I'm just like!For example,Say I spoke to ten girls and asked nothing about relationships the one I'd click with wouldn't be single and the one that liked me i'd just have no feelings for.

LegacyUser

I have this exact same problem.

Except I have a different theory why this happens. I've found over time that women who are in a relationship are generally more selfassured and confident. Thus are much more relaxed in social situations, since they are already in a relationship the 'might this guy be for me' quesiton is negated. Single girls on the other hand are balls of insecurity. Now me personally I like confident self assured women. Hence I tend to fall for the ones who are in relatinhips - since the needy single ones are clingy and annoying.

Since realising this I've pretty much learned that I can predict fairly accurately which girls are in relationships or not simply by how much I like.

None of this solves the problem of course. if i figure out an answer i'll let you knwo :P

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I have this exact same problem.

Except I have a different theory why this happens. I've found over time that women who are in a relationship are generally more selfassured and confident. Thus are much more relaxed in social situations, since they are already in a relationship the 'might this guy be for me' quesiton is negated. Single girls on the other hand are balls of insecurity. Now me personally I like confident self assured women. Hence I tend to fall for the ones who are in relatinhips - since the needy single ones are clingy and annoying.

Since realising this I've pretty much learned that I can predict fairly accurately which girls are in relationships or not simply by how much I like.

None of this solves the problem of course. if i figure out an answer i'll let you knwo :P

I honestly don't think that's the issue either,It just seems the non single girls have a personality that i like and are just more my type where as any single girls i know just don't seem to be my type and have something about them i can't stand,Even though they are nice girls,I would never consider going out with them because there's just this small thing which puts me off.

Now i would say the particular one that likes me is abit annoying,But there is plenty other single girls i know which aren't at all,And still I'm not at all attracted to them..