Sick of it all......

LegacyUser

ok, here it is..........im not happy at the moment, everything is just getting me down and i cant seem to stop it. i try to be a positive person but whatever i do, it just doesnt seem to be working.

can anyone give me advice on where or what i could do to make myself happy again? i've been single for the past year and while many people say being single is great, i hate it. i hate the pressure of having to "try score" when your on nights out, i hate the look friends/family give you when you tell them you were not with anyone when you go on nights out, i miss doing nice things with a partner, i miss going away on holidays, i miss going for meals, in general i miss all the good things that come with having a OH.

im sick of going out every weekend, trying to meet someone, waking up hungover and depressed that nothing has happened again. i dont think the drink does helps either. thing is, im no good anyway at chatting women up, so when i do make the effort and i get knocked back, i feel stupid for having even tried. women i ever get with have always been friends, people i work with, people who know me.

i know things that do make me happy but i dont know where or how i go about finding them. i enjoy being in groups as i am very chatty and not the slightest bit shy and i enjoy seeing . all my friends though are busy with there own lives so its hard to ever get a group out anymore. im usually struggling to get 2 or 3 people together to go out at weekends these days. i used to like going out alot, but im sick of it lately....yet if i dont go out at weekends, i really dunno what to be doing with myself as i hate doing nothing.

really just not happy at the moment with the whole thing but don't know what i can do to change it?

humanji

First of all, try not to drink as much when you go out. Hangovers make everyone feel depressed, so it's just going to add to things.

Have you tried looking into starting a hobby or class that would get you meeting new people? Just think of anything that you'd like to learn or take part in and go do it. It'll be more relaxing than going out on the rip, so you'll be more comfortable with everyone there.

And this could be one way to meet someone you end up going out with. Alternatively, you could try something like a dating website or something. You may feel embarrassed to try it, but there will be loads of people on them that feel the same way. You're definitely not the only person in the world who wants to meet someone but hates trying it when out drinking.

LegacyUser

A year single is not a big deal at all.

You are a guy so you have years and years to meet someone, you're not racing a clock.

Relax on the drinking and try to stop taking it all so seriously. In a year (or five, what difference does it make? ;-), you'll be looking back wishing you'd enjoyed your single phase more.

Being single is a waiting game, you can't force it. enjoy.

LegacyUser

op here.............ye i know your right, enjoy my time being single etc.....its kind of hard though when you go out every weekend, nothing happens and then your friend/family ask ye "so any luck last night" - it kind of gets you down. thing is, it just doesn’t happen for me in pubs/clubs but that is where i spend most of my weekends. when ye see people getting together and you go home alone, it does play on your mind. also, alot of my friends are in long term relationships so that doesn’t help either.

so how do i start enjoying my time being single? i feel after a week in work i need to go out at the weekend but then nothing happens then im back to square one on monday morning...p*ssed off. most girls i get with are through work or friends of friends. at the moment though there is very few single girls i know in work and that doesn’t look like it will change anytime soon. im not trying to put pressure on myself, im trying to stay positive about everything but as each weekend passes by, nothing happens etc, you do start to let it get the better of you. i just want to be one of those people who is enjoying being single and has stuff going on in their life but i dunno where to start or how to change what i am currently doing.........

LegacyUser

Ok, you need a several pronged approach here:

1. By all means keep going out but try to take it easy on the drink. Approach & chat to lots of girls, who cares if they're not interested, you don't know them anyway?
2. Internet date. Everyone's doing it.
3. Get a hobbie. How about surfing or hill walking? People do this stuff in groups and you are 20% sexier just for being fit. Salsa, tango, swing classes have a 2:1 female to male ratio and is not nearly as gay as it all sounds. They are literally crying out for male dancing partners.


So thats three approaches. One of them should work eventually (in a year or two) and you can learn alot as you go along.