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trust has gone

  • 24-08-2009 10:12am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    When the trust has left the relationship, can it be gained/won/come back or is it time to call it a day?


Comments

  • #2
    Nitxteha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 139 ✭✭Nitxteha


    Communication is the key for trust issues. Trust is earned with actions too. It's very difficult for someone to trust their partner if he or she constantly catches him or her with lies..

    I think that if there's love, communication and no secrets, ther should not be any trust issues.

    what happened to you?


  • #3
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Trust doesn't "leave"; it's pushed by either party.

    Once gone, though, it's rare for it to come back fully (i.e. future innocent events or actions might cause someone to raise an eyebrow).

    I've even seen it impact negatively on future relationships where no-one has done anything wrong.


  • #4
    Nitxteha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 139 ✭✭Nitxteha


    You can win back the trust of somebody but you have to put a lot of work, effort and good faith on it.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Some people can't get the trust back, no matter how hard they try. They might forgive, they might still love the person; but they'll never forget how that trust was broken.

    Earning back someone's trust can take years, and they have to be making a constant effort with it. It's also hard for them because they're trying to get something that will never be there again; not being able to trust someone changes things fundamentally.

    Hope you're okay.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It really depends. I was in a situation where my OH broke the trust in our relationship. She worked really really hard to mend it and although we still have a way to go, she proved that she really was sorry. I do trust her again but I still find it hard to deal with at times. I think if you know they are genuine then yes.


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  • #7
    Nitxteha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 139 ✭✭Nitxteha


    People make mistakes. If she's genuine and you guys get over this your relationship will get stronger.

    You need to sort out and be clear on the issue that made you lose trust in her and sincerely forgive, otherwise these things always come back.


  • #8
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Unregistered wrote: »
    When the trust has left the relationship, can it be gained/won/come back or is it time to call it a day?

    That depends on you both and how well you know yourself.

    I know myself enough to know that once you break the trust, I'll never fully trust you again.
    But I'm very black and white that way.

    So, look at yourself and then decide.


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