motivate my partner

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Looking for some advice re motivating my wife to
a) do some exercise
b) eat healthy
c) loose weight.

When we met, we were both young slim good looking kids, as time went by we started to spread out a bit:

I took control of it and a few years back started taking regular exercise to where I am now reasonably trim, fit and relatively healthy.

She on the other hand has started to really let things spread a bit (particularly since moving in together ) , she has hardly any clothes that fit her anymore despite her having racks (I mean alot) of smaller sized stuff she used to wear. She always got some excuse for not doing any exercise, too cold, tired, doing some other sh*te - I have tried everything, asking her along, bought bikes, joined fitness clubs ( I end up going alone ). Although she makes noises about it the whole time.

I don't know what I can do to motivate her to get at it.

Should I just have it out with her ? She's turning into a lazy slob with a bar of chocolate sticking out of her gob !

How do I motivate her to do some exercise

Thanks

LegacyUser

wow shes a lucky girl to have a partner like you.. just imagine how hurt she would be if she read what you wrote about her.

dudara

If you can't post anything helpful, then don't waste your time and ours by replying.

dudara

puglover

MrMotivator wrote: »

Hi all,

Looking for some advice re motivating my wife to
a) do some exercise
b) eat healthy
c) loose weight.

When we met, we were both young slim good looking kids, as time went by we started to spread out a bit:

I took control of it and a few years back started taking regular exercise to where I am now reasonably trim, fit and relatively healthy.

She on the other hand has started to really let things spread a bit (particularly since moving in together ) , she has hardly any clothes that fit her anymore despite her having racks (I mean alot) of smaller sized stuff she used to wear. She always got some excuse for not doing any exercise, too cold, tired, doing some other sh*te - I have tried everything, asking her along, bought bikes, joined fitness clubs ( I end up going alone ). Although she makes noises about it the whole time.

I don't know what I can do to motivate her to get at it.

Should I just have it out with her ? She's turning into a lazy slob with a bar of chocolate sticking out of her gob !

How do I motivate her to do some exercise

Thanks

Thats a bit harsh. Look you really can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to. If you're putting her under a lot of pressure to do this then it's now wonder she isn't responding.

She needs to find something that she enjoys doing. Just because you enjoy the gym or cycling doesn't mean she will.

Why don't you get her a course of salsa fit lessons or suggest curves or something. If the weather is nice how about using the bikes on a Sunday to go for a picnic or something. You need to make it more about enjoying yourselves than losing weight.

Cleopatra12

+ 1 on the dance classes.... Something fun for you both to do and learn a new skill. Its so much fun when you both are equally as useless at it and you can bond over it as well as having a great giggle and getting exercise without realising it!

Skapoot

I dont think its fair that the OP is putting work into being physically attractive, whereas his OH is not doing the same for him.

When he got into the relationship he didnt sign up for watching her slowly stuff her gob and not give a **** about being attractive for him.


Its also a respect issue. If my OH started eating junk and putting on weight I would assume he didnt care about keeping me interested anymore.

You said your wife had kids - Id assume her weight would go up a bit so thats understandable but you said she's turning into a "slob".

It is hard going out with someone like that. And I feel sorry for you. Physical appearances are important in a relationship and people confuse settling down with someone as - deciding to stop looking after your health or looks because you're too comfortable.

Anyways to get back on track I think you should talk to your OH and ask her why she doesnt care about her appearance any more. You've tried a lot of things over the last few years and they dont seem to have worked so I dont know if buying her dance class tickets would work- its just reverting to the same method you've been doing

this going for a cycle and getting out together is also a good idea. Would she make excuses to not go?

Like i said - you dont deserve this. Youre making an effort. You didnt agree to put up with someone who wont even try to maintain a normal weight. In sickness and in health - fair enough. you didnt vow to watch her pig out.

Talk to her.

SIX PACK

I know where your coming from Mate. used to hav a beautiful Irish girlfriend when we were both 20 we finished about 8 months after we started. im 24 now just back from spain wit my girlfriend for a holiday shes very conscious about her figure always tries to keep between 8 to a 10 & we have a 1yr old daughter suppose im very lucky in that sense.
Did see my ex out on friday night shes easily a size 14 now shame really she was a head turner when i was with her.
at the end of the day dont think i would be able to stay with someone if they let themselves completely go- completely go meaning 14+ their is No attraction in that how can you do a 69 or even do any of those Kamasutra positions the fatter she gets the less sex she'l want Lol. cant really blame us consumers out their either. is a lot of temptation Processed foods wit 1000's of Calories lik Dominos Pizza Mc'Donalds Greasy take Aways Cream pies Coconut Snowballs pints of Guinness Carburys Chocolates tayto crisps kings crisps Kerrygold Butter etc etc etc... Chips a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips!! its up to you love.
but some people just dont know when to stop its an illness,,,
was just in the cinema last wk the amount of people ordering XL Large instead of small or medium was incredible even doh they clearly hav weight problems already

its no wonder Colestrol and diabeties are increasing at an alarming rate in this Country. bring back the potato famine

VaioCruiser

Skapoot is 100% right .



All the best.

SIX PACK

MrMotivator wrote: »

Hi all,

Looking for some advice re motivating my wife to
a) do some exercise
b) eat healthy
c) loose weight.

When we met, we were both young slim good looking kids, as time went by we started to spread out a bit:

I took control of it and a few years back started taking regular exercise to where I am now reasonably trim, fit and relatively healthy.

She on the other hand has started to really let things spread a bit (particularly since moving in together ) , she has hardly any clothes that fit her anymore despite her having racks (I mean alot) of smaller sized stuff she used to wear. She always got some excuse for not doing any exercise, too cold, tired, doing some other sh*te - I have tried everything, asking her along, bought bikes, joined fitness clubs ( I end up going alone ). Although she makes noises about it the whole time.

I don't know what I can do to motivate her to get at it.

Should I just have it out with her ? She's turning into a lazy slob with a bar of chocolate sticking out of her gob !

How do I motivate her to do some exercise

Thanks

mate your a classic you must be a comedian call a spade a spade if you get my drift. i think your best bet is get her on the Athkins diet it consists of lettuce and water shel be slim and trim in no time Posh spice is on it. but be careful she dont get too skinny 8- not sexy Lol. alternativly get urself a thai chick

puglover

SIX PACK wrote: »

mate your a classic you must be a comedian call a spade a spade if you get my drift. i think your best bet is get her on the Athkins diet it consists of lettuce and water shel be slim and trim in no time Posh spice is on it. but be careful she dont get too skinny 8- not sexy Lol. alternativly get urself a thai chick

What an ass. Size 14 is not big at all. Do you know that Marylin Monroe who is widely considered one of the sexiest women of all time was a size 14-16?

The ATKINS diet is unhealthy and unbalanced and not recommended by any nutritionists.

I'd love to see a pic of all these guys who are so quick to judge.

Silverfish

Can we please keep replies helpful and constructive to the OP.

Suggesting fad and unhealthy diets is not helpful, as the OP's partner has to want to do it, he can't force her to. He is looking for help on how to motivate her to.

Dizzyblonde

OP how is your OH otherwise? Does she seem happy? There could be a reason she's overeating and not motivated to lost weight.
Sometimes the direct approach doesn't work and will only make a person feel worse, plus she needs to want to do this for herself as much as for you.

LegacyUser

puglover wrote: »

Do you know that Marylin Monroe who is widely considered one of the sexiest women of all time was a size 14-16?
QUOTE]

Sorry to be pedantic about it but Marylin Monroe was in fact a size 8-12. Reasoning behind the size 14 myth points to veriations in dress sizes down through the years.

You'd be hard pushed to find a woman over size 14 who could be classified as the "sexiest woman of all time".

I'm a size 12 and I'm disgusted by my lumps and bumps.

LegacyUser

Size 14 is big.

The perception that it is not, is wrong and that's why we have weight and obesity issues.

My own sister is pushing on to be a size 14 - she is overweight as are her friends but in her head she's grand.

To the OP: if she's not motivated to change, there's not a lot you can do to really. I've never been changed by a partner and i've never changed one.

puglover

beenthere wrote: »

Size 14 is big.

The perception that it is not, is wrong and that's why we have weight and obesity issues.

My own sister is pushing on to be a size 14 - she is overweight as are her friends but in her head she's grand.

To the OP: if she's not motivated to change, there's not a lot you can do to really. I've never been changed by a partner and i've never changed one.

Really? Do you consider this big

http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00303/3103_carolinemoraha_303484t.jpg

kmick

puglover wrote: »

Really? Do you consider this big

http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00303/3103_carolinemoraha_303484t.jpg

Yeah agreed size 12 is normal so size 14 is just above average but some people wear it better than others especially shorter people + Caroline looks like photoshop had its way with that photo to be fair. The key here is communication - you have to tell her. Unfortunately that will probably make her even more miserable as people have complicated relationships with weight and food.

LegacyUser

puglover wrote: »

Really? Do you consider this big

http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00303/3103_carolinemoraha_303484t.jpg

That would appear to be a highly stylized and photoshopped image of Caroline Morahan.
Caroline Morahan's weight is also offset by her height.

Chances are that if you are a size 14 and a regular person, you don't have access to your own make-up artist, stylist and talented photographer. So I don't think you can argue Caroline Morahan as case and point.

A size 14 "regular" girl is overweight.

But this discussion is not important - what is important is that the OP finds his OH attractive. Which he obviously doesn't.