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Too soon to ask where we're going?

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  • 23-08-2009 10:46am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I started seeing a new guy three weeks ago. He had asked me out several times before we eventually hooked up but I was in the midst of trying to get out of another very crappy relationship so nothing happened until recently.

    We've had some seriously lovely dates, he calls me everyday, is always the one asking to see me and if it wasn't for the fact I've been overwhelmed in work recently, we'd be seeing even more of each other (everyday or second day if we could!) Suffice it to say, we really like each other. He's told me several times over the last couple of weeks that he's mad into me and I'm very excited about the whole thing.

    BUT and this is a big but, we've been friends since Christmas and in this time we'd been on a few nights out together as we share the same group of friends. We always had the chats and talked a lot about past relationships. We both would have been very candid seeing as we weren't involved at the time and I was very taken. He's told me in the past that he really can't see himself being in a relationship for a long time. Now this was long before anything happened and he hasn't said it recently. I'm worried though that this still stands and if it does, what on earth are we doing? He's so keen to take me out and see as much of me as possible and talks about things we could do in a month or further along the line. If he hadn't said this to me previously about relationships, I'd be sure that we were heading in a boyfriend/girlfriend direction but it's playing on my mind and making me a bit guarded.

    I've just gotten out of a really emotionally draining and torturous relationship myself where I was treated very badly over three years. This absolutely isn't a rebound thing, as I'd broken up with my ex in my heart a long time before we did end a couple of months ago. I actually can't take being hurt or let down again anytime soon. Is it too early now to ask this guy what he wants or what his intentions, for want of a better phrase, are? I'd rather just leave it now if he just wants a bit of fun than to get my hopes up and be disappointed. There's nothing wrong with him not wanting a relationship if he doesn't (or with me wanting one) but I want to just know where I stand. Do people's views on relationships change drastically if they meet someone they think is really special and get on fantastically with? (his words)


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