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Feel trapped by contorlling mother

  • 22-08-2009 8:57pm
    #1
    lucygoosy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭


    I am 22 years of age and a single parent living at home. My family are very good to me and supported me all the way. However, my Mother is obsessed with controlling me. She feels that everything I do is wrong, she wants me to do evrything her way with my baby I just feel that she is waiting for me to fail as a mother.I went out last nite and had a few drinks too many I cam home at 5am because we went to a party. My baby is 11 months and my sister was babysitting for me. My parents are furious at my behaviour and while I feel that I was wrong there is underlying issues with my living situation here. I want to move out but I am starting a new degree in September and have to pay fees as I already did a years college. I will have to pay a childminder also. 230 pw is what I get. If I do not get rent allowance I will not be able move out. If this happens I dont know what I will do my parents are good to me but I just cant handle the bitching by my Mom and snide remarks about me. She is very good to my child and they have a strong bond but I am finding it hard to deal with the controlling issue. If I bring it up with her she goes mad telling me its in my head. She dismisses everyting I say I am so sick of living like this


Comments

  • #2
    wolfric
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭wolfric


    The more serious you make the talk the more serious she's going to take you. For instance over breakfast is probably not the time... Tell her to set aside some time to talk to you and go somewhere quiet and sit her down with you and start off slow in a level voice and she's more likely to listen to you.

    I have to say though i can see her side of the story. If it's only once or twice it's not that bad but if partying until 5 is a common habit and you're leaving your kid with your sister then you might want to take a step back and reconsider things.

    It's important to have time to yourself but once your a mother your kid really should come first. The important thing is to find a balance. Work out a system that is so solid it could be written down on paper. Stick to it so that everyone knows the deal. ie how many days you're going out etc. Show your mum you can take care of the child and ask her to leave it to you. I do suggest that if your mum is getting to you you turn to a wise friend or your father or something for advice so you have a third party that isn't going to drive you up the wall and can still advise you


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