Sister threatening to take my work into a family arguement

LegacyUser

I need some advice please. Going to be long so apologies.

I have a unqiue working situation. I work as a carer for a neighbour caring for their child with special needs when they go out to work. We applied for the carers allowance last year for me. It was a battle but I was granted it. Carers are allowed to work for 15 hours outside from caring. The lady that I work for wanted to bring my wage up to that of any other childcare worker. So with some help and advice from our cwo the solution she came up with was to pay me for 15 hours. So half of my wage is paid by carers allowance and the other half my employer. She is a registered employer, and I am her employee. I have a contract and get pay slips and all that. Carers allowance section knows about our situation too.

I'm still living at home. Myself and sister hasn't really got on for some time. We had an arguement two months ago over something very small. She hasn't spoken to me since. I haven't spoken to her. If I was to turn around and say sorry to rectify a problem she'd throw it back at me. To say the least she doesn't want a sister relationship with me. I got some advice about this, and theres nothing I can do. She has issues with me. She has wrote many stories about me here about me being so nasty with moods. She wished me dead. Yet she fails to see her own moods. She definately goes about rising me.

She's a very angry person. Hasn't talked to one of my brothers in a year. and he doesn't talk to her. It looks highly unlikely that they will speak again. She has a fierce temper and loses it very easily. She doesn't like people. She's very angry at the world. She's servrely unhappy in her job. She's not happy living at home. She just abouts tolerate the other brothers. She's a control freak. I'm ceratainly not saying I'm perfect here. All i'm saying is my sister has anger issues.

Shes now taking my work situation into all this.

During the week myself and my sister had another argument. I took her soup, I was in the wrong, I paid her for it. She was not happy. She lost the plot. She is now threatening to go to social welfare and complain me for fraud about my work situation. She's under some illusion that what my employer and I are at is fraud. When i tried to explain the case she said "we'll see what social welfare has to say about that".

The social welfare inspector that my employer and I dealt with about carers was lovely and helped us out greatly. I have nothing to hide. My employer has nothing to hide. Its all legal. If my sister complains to social welfare would have to investigate all the same. The carers might be stopped for a few weeks while they investigate (I don't know). If a different inspector deals with the situation they might even find some sort of a reason to take it off me. We cannot afford to lose the carers. My employer has said it many times to people that if I wasn't awarded the carers she or her husband wouldn't have been able to work. They have another child in the creche. Anybody that deals with social welfare would know just how easy it is for them to take away payments. There is too much at risk in my situation. My payment, my job, my employers job, they may not be able pay their mortgage, they may become homeless, they may not be able to afford medical bills.

My sister is not a person you can talk to easily about any sort of a problem. She just goes about shouting her head off, shouting looking for respect and shouting about how people treat her like the **** at the bottom of their shoes (her words).

Firetrap

Your sister sounds like a lovely person :rolleyes: I wonder though is she toxic enough to actually carry out her threat of going to the Social Welfare? I think there's nothing more you can say to her that will improve things. Perhaps if you try to broach the subject again, she'll think there is something iffy going on and use it as a way to hurt you. Are there any other family members who can have a chat with her? Your mum/dad? Aunt/uncle?

January

Maybe you should try and get in touch with your CWO who organised all of this for you and your employer and just make sure it's all above board. Tell her your sister is accusing you of fraud and you just want to make sure that if an investigation were to come against you that you are in the right.

Maybe if it's on a social welfare file the investigator may not even have to investigate, because you brought your concerns about this to the social welfare before the investigation began?

iguana

Can you get in contact with the social welfare officer who you initially dealt with and ask for their advice? If there is anyway to preempt your sister I'd try to do it.

banshee_bones

My sympathies rest with you OP im well aware of the painfully long process involved in getting carers allowance. Its a nightmare that your sister is making you feel this way even though you are doing nothing wrong. I too agree with you taking a pre emtive strike, talk to your CWO and make it noted that your sister may start to casue trouble for you.

I know its a very distressing situation for you and for your neighbours but if your sisiter is looking to aggrevate you I think you should be as COOL as anything, remember YOU are doing NOTHING wrong so if she comes at you again, continue drinking your tea or whatever and just be like, "yeah you do that..go ahead i have nothing to hide its all legal"

January

<snip>

dresden8

Social Welfare won't stop your payment on a whim or because of an allegation.

They get reports from trouble-making nut-jobs all the time.

If they contact you and you ignore them, that's when your troubles start.