What do you shout at dogs?

SACH Central

This may have been discussed before, if so, apologies.

Picture the scene, you're out for a spin, it's a nice day. You're on your own engrossed in your thoughts (making a solo break to win a TdF stage :rolleyes:) All of sudden a big dog appears out of nowhere barking, snarling and running like hell after you.

What do you. What do you shout to make the fcukker go away. Where I live dogs are a real pain in the ass. Or at least dogs that chase me!

Any thoughts?

biomed32

hit the breaks and let the dog catch up to you and then boot it calling it a snarly git or something usually shocks them that you dared to let them catch up
failing that if it ever snows in ireland chuck a snowball at it at high speed did that before worked wonders

cathysworld

A good kick in the hole never goes astray (no pun intended)

DePurpereWolf

Shouting has the opposite effect. Stopping has the most effect, but than you loose your momentum. Ignoring is the best alternative. If it come too close: kick it, but I understand that might be difficult if you are clipped in.

Alternatively, you can kidnap the dog later when you pass by with the car, bring it to a rescue agency saying that the dog was roaming around on the street. After a couple of times the owner might keep his dog inside.

(I have two dogs and am a proponent of manditory leash laws.)

Canis Lupus

WOOF!

Thomas_S_Hunterson

"Excuse me kind canine, you are interfering with my cycle. I implore you to desist."

copacetic

Here doggie doggie

Captain Havoc

My doctor told me to try and knock out one it's teeth, then he smells you coming anymore he won't even get up off his ass. Me personally, if it's a big fecker I'll slow down, they've more of a tendancy to go in front of you, if he comes near me it's a squirt of the water bottle. If it's a little terrior I'll dart past, it makes good sprint training, again if he comes near it's a squirt of the water bottle. If you're ever on the Kilmanagh to Cuffesgrange road there's a load of the feckers there.

Diarmuid

I start with woof woof but that usually makes matters worse. Next is, bottle in hand and squirt water in the dog's face. That usually works.

DirkVoodoo

On the Leitrim spin where we encountered MANY dogs, I ended up not doing what the others were doing (whizzing past them) and instead made the mistake of slowing down, stopping, petting the dog and starting off slowly again.

This is not good for your times.

bcmf

water bottle. Wait till he is right up to you and squirt right into the eyes.

showry

IN TO BED SHEP

dog either stops and wonders how I know his name or wonders who the feck Shep is and goes off looking for him instead

Billy Whizz

My dog used to chase everyone he saw on a bicycle.

I had to confiscate his bike.

Borneo Fnctn

I've often barked back at dogs. You have to do it as loud as you can. Sometimes it scares them but you always look like a schizo.

Captain Havoc

Billy Whizz wrote: »

My dog used to chase everyone he saw on a bicycle.

I had to confiscate his bike.

Terrible, you should be banned for a week for telling it but I have to confess I still laughed

SACH Central

What happens to me, especially if I'm startled is I scream FFFCCCCCCCUUUUKKKK OOOOFFFF. It doesn't seem to do any good, dogs for some reason don't do insults.

I've tried squirting water but, A. I'm a crap shot & B. I seem to 'attract' dogs whose arses are low to the ground. It's hard to hit a terrier without falling off the bike.

There are a few houses in my area where I've seriously thought about driving back and complaining to the owners.

IMO the worst thing is getting chased by a mutt going up a steep hill.

ArraMusha

..."LIE DOWN YA BAS**RD" always works for me

Chips Lovell

Most of the dogs I come accross don´t speak English.

furiousox

Try carrying a selection of cats in your bidon and then throw them out at will as "stingers" when confronted by a hostile (or settled) gang of jack russell.
That......or pepper spray

xz

Do as Costner does!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gfv2diohUXE

Murph100

Impossible but true:

Dont LOOK at them or smile/grimace/open yer gob ....

If you do, its basically .... eyeballing them ( challenging them ) and showing them your teeth ( asking for a fight .... on their territory !!!! )

@CK OFF !!' means exactly the same to them funnily enough Explains why it doesn't work !

Captain Havoc

el tonto wrote: »

Most of the dogs I come accross don´t speak English.

Apparently the dogs in France do:

furiousox

All Dogs are (literally) ba$tards!
Oh come on, we've all said it! :mad:

paddy's hill

For some reason dogs in France don't chase you.

For Irish dogs, as was suggested earlier a good kick in the hole works wonders. Water bottle in the eye (I don't mean water from a water bottle I mean a water bottle) is good but the best thing is to spit in their eye, really freaks them out.

rubadub

jerseyeire wrote: »

Apparently the dogs in France do

paddy's hill wrote: »

For some reason dogs in France don't chase you.

Maybe they do understand. Might be where that phrase comes from "excuse my french but go F*CK OFF"

I knew a lad who used to shout stupid things to show up these phrases. Like he would be shouting "ABUSE, ABUSE", or "BLUE MURDER, BLUE MURDER". When asked what he was on about, he would calmly say "oh I'm just screaming abuse/blue murder"