Can't handle my job...am I mad?

mikemac

Yes, I know I'm lucky to have a job.....

The place is very short staffed and everyone under pressure.
Truth be told, I'm not that good at my job. Hundreds of emails and reports to monitor and the slightest mistake will see you brought before management to explain yourself.

I do my best, I do make mistakes and got slated in my review this month. I used to get average reviews, not this time.
Just can't handle the stress and on the verge of quitting. Was up at 3:30am one night earlier this week and barely slept tonight worrying over an issue that is going to happen tomorrow. I may end up getting on a warning on something I missed.

I asked for time off for annual leave, the place is so short staffed they can only let a few go at any time, it's October before I'll go on holidays. And when I last had a few days off I came back to a huge backlog and sure I was only worrying about stuff on my days off

Going to work every day sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears leaving some days.
Some days I'm happy and get on well with my teammates. But just can't handle the stress and I've been told I'm struggling with workload. Maybe I'm not clever or capable enough, all I can do is my best

If I quit, there are very few jobs in the area. I wouldn't get a job that pays the same. But I feel I need to leave to save my sanity and take a month or two off. I've got savings thankfully

Am I mad to leave a job when others worse off then me struggle to get a job?

LegacyUser

no, you're not mad. its pretty crap that back a few years ago if you hated your job, you could just apply for a new one and leave!

is it the job you hate or is it the whole career? because if its a sector you want to get out of you could consider going back to college or doing a 1 year course in something fresh? it would be time away from the workplace and beneficial to your future.

why dont you do some searches on job sites and see if theres anything out there that might suit you even if it means a drop in salary? or send off your cv to a recruiter so they have it on file. they'd get back to you if something suitable came up, just bide your time.

i think you cant put a price on happiness. it would be worth a drop in salary for something better in my opinion. you spend 5 days a week in work so you should really be a lot more comfortable in your workplace. stress can affect your health so be careful.

LegacyUser

Hi OP
I am just comming back from a similar place. We are cut to the bone at work with few orders and loads let go with college exams on as well.
I just had gut full there a month ago, I felt like ripping up the line and smashing the computers. I was honest (well not fully) to my supervisor and said I felt under massive stress. I got sent to the Nurse then to my GP then. I got two weeks off without pay (Benefits of contract worker). Doc gave me Stilnoct sleeping pills and I took them. They helped break the irregular sleeping pattern. But I had minor side effects and re adjustment problems comming back off them a week later. What I found the best medicine after comming of the pills was swimming two hours a day.

I am due to see my GP tomorrow and company Doc on Monday and back to work tuesday hopefully. You cannot get fired for this, MNC do not like to be associated with stress anxiety bullying or depression. They take it very seriously. If you have a good supervisor like mine they will understand and bend backwards to help and advise you.

Good luck and take the advice of Doctors and counselors

petes

You are only going to start feeling worse with the sleepless nights, anxiety etc. I was in a similar position and walked out of a decent job with nothing lined up. It was getting too much dreading going in.

Go to your GP. Tell him all what you said in your post. You mentioned a backlog. Does no one cover your duties when you are off?

LegacyUser

You sound so stressed & I think you should go to your doctor and get a cert for a week for stress. This will give you a chance to get away from work and to think things through properly. When you go back, ask for a meeting with your supervisor and go through all your concerns with them. It sounds like you were doing OK at the job until the cutbacks started and you ended up with more of a workload? If that's the case you are capable of doing the job so dont knock yourself. Have you talked to other people in your team? Are they feeling the pressure also? Dont let this dent your confidence and even though jobs are scarce, put your C.V. in as many places as possible and eventually something will come up.
Best of luck.

LegacyUser

I worked in a job once where I spent 40k more than I should have..... I thought about topping ,=myself at the time.

Spent days in a haze wondering how I was going to (a) tell anyone and (b) wondering what the hell I was going to do with the rest of my life now that I was a failure.

Fast Forward to today and I'm now working at something I enjoy and while under a certain amount of pressure, I never am under the same pressure as back then.

So, what to do.

(1) Remember, we all make mistakes - we are human. Look around, everyone is the same. No one does everything perfectly. You are allowed to make mistakes in life.

(2) Remember, this is just a job - in a year you will probably have a different one, in 5 years you'll have a nice one and who knows, in 10 years you might be retired. I doubt the owner of the company is fretting every night and morning...

(3) Try and get some exercise every day. Get up early and head for a walk preferably in a park/by the sea/in nature. I start most days doing this and it helps me get my head in order for the day.

(4) Write it down. Get out a pen and paper or your laptop and write down how you feel.... this is proven to make one feel better.

(5) What's the worst that can happen? You get a bad review and get fired - fair enough, now you're out of a really stressful situation. You get a bad review and told to pull your socks up - fair enough, you agree to do it. You get an average review and you continue as is.....

(8) What are you grateful for? sounds flippant but do a list daily of 3 things you are grateful for and list 3/4 of your strengths..... over the course of a few weeks, you'll be feeling better about yourself.

Remember, you are not your job and your job is not you.

Magenta

OP to be honest I was in your situation before and I just quit. The sick feeling in my stomach when I'd get home in the evenings knowing I had to go back in the next day. The rampant bullying throughout the entire company. The constant stress and pressure- it's not worth it. You have savings and will surely be able to get some sort of job to keep you going til you get back on track- anything to keep the bills paid. Honestly, that amount of stress is not worth it.

Kalashnikov_Kid

Sounds like the job is mad and not you

TheRealist

In my experience when it gets to the point that you are waking up in the middle of the night and can't sleep it's time to get out. It sounds to me like you are at the beginning of a depressive episode. Now is the time to take action because if you let it go on any longer you could damage yourself. I would recommend going to your GP or some other doctor if you're not comfortable with your own.

If you have savings like you say then you might be able to manage for a while till you can figure out what the future holds. There really is no job worth that kind of hassle.