Underlying Problem?

LegacyUser

I've met someone online and think they're great. We get on so well and we're both keen to meet. This person I think moreso than me. This person is amazing looking, really nice and kind and clearly has a fantastic social life. I too have a great social life, I'm not unattractive and I suppose I'm very easy going. This has taken me by surprise as I was not looking for somebody online.

The only prob is I'm very reluctant to meet because of how I think I may disappoint. I know it's stupid. I should just go and enjoy myself like I have been but I always have this thing in my mind holding me back. It's not just this person. There's been a few where I have not been able to get close to. I think I may have a problem. Does anybody else suffer in this regard? Am I just being silly? Can you get help for this?

Thanks!

XarcherX

i know how you feel, it's a lack of self-confidence and you're not being silly.. a lot of people suffer from it for whatever reason (me being one of them sometimes)..
the thing you have to decide is whether you're going to let it stop you from meeting this person, if you decide not to then you'll always be left wondering "what if" and kicking yourself cos you didn't go.
Everyone tries to portray their best side in online profiles, best photos, loads of friends, great social life etc. but no-one's perfect and this person will have flaws just like you and everyone else...
Maybe wait and stay chatting online another while until you get more comfortable with them and then arrange to go meet them... the more you feel you know them the less worried you'll be.

CDfm

Try meeting up as you already have a friendship and can relate to each other.

Special K

OP,
I was in the same situation as yourself about a year ago. Couldn't believe my luck when caught Mr X looking at my page, then proceeded to chat, then texts, phone calls and couple of weeks later we met.

1 year later and we are still together.


It IS a confidence issue, and I still have confidence issues, but I somehow took the plunge that day and it was a bit awkward at first, I won't pretend it wasn't, and I was nervous, but we sat and had a drink and look at how things turned out!


Don't let lack of confidence hold you back. As an aside, try to develop and increase your self confidence - it eliminates a lot of problems!
Keep up the chats - however, I would trust gut instinct. If you feel niggly about meeting person X, and you don't think it's about confidence, then maybe rethink things.


Best of luck whatever you decide.

LegacyUser

I say go for it.This other person could be thinking the exact same about you.

LegacyUser

its surely is a confidence issue, and everyone has them in some arena of their life, so fake it until you make it happen.

If you think the person is amazing looking, you relate in emails (which is harder i think than face to face) and get on very well, the worst case scenario is you meet for a drink and it is not there.

If you want a get out quick, in that you think you may need to leave, meet for lunch so you have an excuse to dash.

Go for it, I am sure it will be brill.