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  • 19-08-2009 1:31pm
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    I hate it when I'm driving along in the car and I see one of those road signs that says "Draw Bridge Ahead" and I've forgotten my pencil.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    My clotheshorse broke this morning.

    It was the end of an airer.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    My friends say I use alcohol as a crutch.

    If this is true then how come I fall over when I'm drunk ?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Women on Haircuts:

    Woman 1:
    Oh! That haircut is so cute!

    Woman 2:
    You think so?
    I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror.
    I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

    Woman 1:
    Oh God no! It's perfect.
    I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide.
    I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

    Woman 2:
    Are you serious?
    I think your face is adorable.
    And you could easily get one of those layer cuts, that would look so cute I think.
    I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

    Woman 1:
    Oh, that's funny!
    I would love to have your neck!
    Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

    Woman 2:
    Are you kidding?
    I know girls that would kill for your shoulders.
    Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are?
    If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

    And so on ...

    Men on Haircuts:

    Man 1: Haircut?
    Man 2: Aye.
    Man 1: Tidy.


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