I feel like im losing my mind.........

Loopsie

aaahhh i apologise in advance for this thread i just feel like a need a MASSIVE rant.........im sick of wrecking my friends heads and im sure they are sick of listening to me.........wouldnt you know the reason for this rant is a guy!!!!!!!!!
2 years on and off and after being off the last 6mths and after him BEGGING me for another chance i crumbled and let me heart lead rather than my head........3 weeks into it again he starts again with his usual distancing and i found out he was back on dating sites talking to girls, giving them his phoen number etc etc.........needless to say i lost my cool and screamed at him to never ever waste my f*ckin time ever again.........that was last thursday and then on saturday went out bumped into him, ended up bringing him home, had lots of drunk chats which basically involved him saying that it scares him how much he loves me and knows if we end up together that will be it and he doesnt think he is ready to settle down (ahem BULLSH*T) ...............anyways woke up sunday his mate collected him then he rang asking would i help him mind his mates little girl for the day and so we went to the park and played pretend happy families!!! Havent heard from him since.............WTF??!!!!!!!!
I feel like kicking myself cos im right back in the posistion that i have been SO So actually too many times before as i said i dont want to moan to the girls cos they hate him.................he comes crawling back every few weeks.
I nkow i want him to be something he is not......he is a notorious flirt

anyone with any advice on how the hell i get over this and finally move would be a HUGE help!!!!!

PS before anyone goes on about i should have learned my lesson with him 1st time or even 3rd time i know you are right but i seem to be a sucker for punishment................


or better still any ideas on what i can do to himto make him feel pretty sh*tty about what he has done or how to make myself feel better please let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loopsie

Ok guys im apologising for this rant inadvance........ive burnt my friends ears enough and im sure they are sick of listening to me

Of course this rant is about a guy aswell..........

Long story VERY short!!!!!!!
Basically i have been on and of with this guy last 2 years, fell out again last xmas and after months of him texting ringing begging me to give it another go i finally let me heart lead rather than my head.........so all was going well (this started about three weeeks ago) and we were taking it slowly........then as i could have predicted he starts to get distant AGAIN (id like tp point out i put NO pressure on him)
ao anyways i found out he was back on dating sites and needless to say lost my cool and told him never to waste my f***in time ever ever again.........that was last thursday........didnt hear from him again until i bumped into him on saturday night, we were both very locked and he ended up coming back to mine, we sat up drinking he was saying that it scares him how much he loves me and thinks that he just is not ready to settle down now and loves me but when we start going out again he gets freaked out and runs..........anyways one thing led to another.........
woke up sunday he left then he rang me and asked if i wanted to go to the park with one of his friends baby girls and i said grand so we did and played pretend happy families for the day.............
he kissed me full on when he dropped me home that evening and i havent heard from him since....................WTF?????!!!!!
Genuinely im not one for putting up with bull sh*T and have a sensible head on my shoulders..............so why am i still doing this ater two years and why cant i just walk away from it...........ive sacrificed the chance of other relationships wishing for this one and for him to be something that i know he is not.....................

BAsically before anyone rants on about that i should just move on for some reason it just aint that easy..........i cant eat, cant sleep dont get me wrong im not crying about it over and over as this situation with him is all too familiar but i have that horrible sicky feeling in my stomach and nothign seems to makes me smile

How do i get him to feel like i do right now or how do i make myself feel better???????????????? Seriously im starting to question myself and feel like im losing my mind!!!!!!!!!

DamoDLK

Loopsie wrote: »

........i cant eat, cant sleep dont get me wrong im not crying about it over and over as this situation with him is all too familiar but i have that horrible sicky feeling in my stomach and nothign seems to makes me smile

How do i get him to feel like i do right now or how do i make myself feel better???????????????? Seriously im starting to question myself and feel like im losing my mind!!!!!!!!!

First of all, theres nothing wrong with ya Lo, we all do this and feel that way. The whole history there also builds up a lot of feelings- they seldom, if ever fully go away.. ya can't make him like you. You seem like a pretty nice person, if this chap can't recognise that its his problem.

Fionne

I think the only thing you can do is just avoid him. Especially in social situations (so you don't bring him home when you're tipsy and your guard is down) He's treated you shabbily and from the sounds of it he will keep doing it - IF YOU LET HIM.

Don't let him. Put more value on yourself as a person than what he does.

I wouldn't bother trying to make him feel bad, it really won't make you feel much better in the long run. It will just mean continuing contact with him, which I think is the last thing you should do.

Kick him to the kerb (as they may say in a US talkshow!)

Take care

Fonril

Loopsie

i think its just really getting to me after all the BULLSH*t he seems to have told me and after hounding me for the last couple of months.............we have mutual friends and god forbid i score someone else i get bombarded with abuse from him and he yet he is online dating?!!!!
I think im finding it hard because it comes down the simple thing that he seems to prefer online dating than making any commitment to me.................................if i had one wish i would make him feel about me the way i do about him now SICK

prinz

Good thing posting here because reading one post and you've already melted my head, I know exactly what your friends are going through. I've been there. Urgh.

Anyhow yes you should've learned your lesson am was a friend to two people with a similar relationship, and it gets old very quickly. You're not Rachel, he's not Ross. The very fact you're still spending time plotting how to get back at him means he did a good job on you. Don't get back at him. Forget it and move on. It takes two to waste years of each other's lives by repeating the same pattern of destructive behaviour over and over... so do I think he needs to feel ****ty about what he has done.. probably,...do I think you're equally as guilty for enabling it all.....yes. Quit focusing on him and the past, get on with life.

Loopsie

nobody forced you to read it.............this forum is PERSONAL ISSUES/RELATIONSHIP ISSUES so if you dont want to read about it dont click into it simple as..................

NOTE THE FIRST LINE OF MY THREAD.....APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE for the rant.................

itsadeathtrap

Loopsie wrote: »

nobody forced you to read it.............this forum is PERSONAL ISSUES/RELATIONSHIP ISSUES so if you dont want to read about it dont click into it simple as..................

NOTE THE FIRST LINE OF MY THREAD.....APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE for the rant.................

Hey im sorry but people will automatically say WTF are you doing... so you cant really give out to people if they point out the obvious...

you need to leave this guy be.. get counselling if you feel you need it... suggest the same to your BF, but thats up to him.. best bet is to leave him be... sort yourself out.....

The Recliner

Loopsie wrote: »

nobody forced you to read it.............this forum is PERSONAL ISSUES/RELATIONSHIP ISSUES so if you dont want to read about it dont click into it simple as..................

NOTE THE FIRST LINE OF MY THREAD.....APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE for the rant.................

Loopsie you were given an honest opinion

You will hear advice on here that you don't want to listen too and you have to accept it, just because you don't want to hear it doesn't mean it is wrong

You posted and asked for advice, be prepared to accept advice and don't take your own thread off topic by arguing or the thread will be locked

Use of caps is akin to shouting which makes it abusive, have a read of the charter again and if you disagree with some advice make you rebuttal in a civil way

prinz

Loopsie wrote: »

nobody forced you to read it.............this forum is PERSONAL ISSUES/RELATIONSHIP ISSUES so if you dont want to read about it dont click into it simple as..................
NOTE THE FIRST LINE OF MY THREAD.....APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE for the rant.................

Note the first line of mine........good thing you posted here. Meh no skin off mine, keep letting him dictate your life, sounds like that's what you want tbh.

The Recliner

Loopsie you also started a thread on this in Relationship issues which is the right place for it

I am merging the two, please don't start multiple threads on the same subject as that will earn you a banning

RoxyHart

Seems to me what you need is a good dose of self esteem!! I know you have strong feelings for this guy, i've been there before and it's the crappiest situation you can ever be in, to have someone who you trusted and have hope for, walk all over you and throw it back in your face!! Of course, he's going to come back, profess his undying love (ie. he's feeling lonely and scared and missing the little sumtin sumtin lols), then when he feels he's got you where he wants, he starts a wandering. Don't fall for the confused little boy act, everyone deserves honesty and respect in a relationship!! If you continue on like this, your self esteem and worth will slowly dissolve, you may even loose your friends, no doubt they are exhausted from this drama and are tired of giving advice and you disregarding it as soon as he comes a callin!! As you said yourself he's never going to be the man you want him to be, so my advice is end the relationship for good, cut contact, your needs are not being met. You deserve more than this headwrecker and you aint gonna get it whilst holding on to what little scraps he's throwing your way. Hold your head high, tell yourself you deserve to be happy and move on sweetie, it will be hard but in time you'll wonder how you ever stuck it out that long lols..best of luck!!

Loopsie

it was a genuine mistake, the first thread didnt show

Loopsie

thanksroxyhart, seems like u know what ur talking about! maybe i just needed advice from strangers instead of my friends who i know are biased towards him anyways cos they hate him!!!!!!!!

xcarriex

You sound like ya need some tough love, if ur friend went out with someone who treated her like utter crap you'd hate the guy too, they dislike him for what he is doin to you,

You need to delete his number block him from all dating/social sights and move on with your life, he knows he can coax you into drunken chats and he seems to be able to read you well, if you take a bit of pride in yourself and stand up to this bully you wont feel like this anymore,

Its harsh but its true you need to just get up and move on with your life i he gives you abuse over a new boy, smile nicely and walk away safe in the knowledge you gave this loser up!!

Beruthiel

Loopsie wrote: »

anyone with any advice on how the hell i get over this and finally move would be a HUGE help!!!!!

You seem to be under the impression that the wave of a magic wand will just make all the bad stuff go away and every thing will be fine and dandy.

First off, you have allowed all this crap happen to you - see here for example:

he kissed me full on when he dropped me home that evening and i havent heard from him since....................WTF?????!!!!!

He couldn't kiss you full on unless you allowed him too.
In fact you keep allowing him to mess with your head.
Repeatedly.
You have only yourself to blame here.

It's time to cut him off completely.
It's as simple as that.
Nothing will change until you do.

Loopsie

Point taken!!!!

Eve_Dublin

Loopsie I wonder how much the advice your getting here differs from your friends? I'm sure they're telling you to let him go as well, no? Your friends know you and your situation better than we do...and they hate him. Friends don't always get it right but just from reading your post, I can tell you now that you've no future with this guy and any future you do have with him will be filled more head-wreaking behaviour that I for one couldn't tolerate for my own sanity. Pretend someone else wrote that post....what objective advice would you give them? It's not easy to take your own advice or even the SENSIBLE advice from strangers because there's obviously something that attracts you to this guy...could it be his cockiness and his ability to have a hold on you by acting like a pr**k? You know in your heart of hearts that you've no future with this guy...so don't waste your time fretting over him and value yourself and what you deserve from life a little more.