Am I a waster?

LegacyUser

I am very confused at the moment. I am a mature student on a year out from college (or what should have been a year out from college) and had plans to go back this september but as it turned out my course got scrapped.

Due to the recession I was only working for a few months last summer and have a small job that I've been doing for the year (only half a day per week)

I have been keeping myself busy this year, have done some travelling, keeping fit, raising money for charity, etc. And I am fulfilling a lifetime ambition by writing a book, which is what I am doing at the moment.

The problem is I am back living at home, and I feel like the world's biggest waster. I keep telling myself that when I get my book finished I will be able to sort out my life - my own place, education, etc but it is so hard sometimes. I have only told a few people that I am writing this book, mostly because I don't want to overexpose myself and set myself up for a fall if I never get it published.

But it really is the pits when people ask me what I am doing with myself and I make up every excuse under the sun. I feel like I am putting my life on hold for this book. That doesn't bother me, I would gladly put my life on hold for a dream, I suppose it's just other people's attitudes and the way I am being seen. Living at home is crap, because the rest of the family are always calling around - aunts and uncles and I'm sure they think of me as this sad case who has no job and no prospects. Even my own parents think I'm wasting my life.

LegacyUser

Why did you take a year out? How many years of the course had you done and how many are left? Maybe you could finish the course in a different college. Have you looked into this? What did the college say about it being scraped?

I would try to finish the course some how and concentrate on the book in my spare time if I were you. College or job should be a proity but write while trying to sort out one or the other.

There are a lot of people out of work at the moment so don't be so hard on your self.

LegacyUser

are you actually writing the book thou ? or just talkign about it ?
if you are writing it and making progress and think it might get published then I would revert to my favourtie old Irish saying "F**k the begrudgers"
travelling, keeping fit, raissing money for charity, fullfilling a dream - doesn't sound like wasted time to me.

thats tough about the college course thou. Perhaps you can transfer like the previous poster suggests ?

itsadeathtrap

Your parents are right, you are wasting your life......
they're soo many people out of work at the moment and are working really hard to get work... you would be fininshed your course if you didnt take a year off. so i feel someone like you should have a bit more cope on and get up and get a job... write your book in the evening time and at the weekends... the country is broke enough without having to pay for someone who on the dole by choice.... :mad::mad::mad:

CdeC

itsadeathtrap wrote: »

Your parents are right, you are wasting your life......
they're soo many people out of work at the moment and are working really hard to get work... you would be fininshed your course if you didnt take a year off. so i feel someone like you should have a bit more cope on and get up and get a job... write your book in the evening time and at the weekends... the country is broke enough without having to pay for someone who on the dole by choice.... :mad::mad::mad:

Slow down, I don't think you are a waster at all, You are keeping yourself busy and moving forward. If you work you might never get the writing done but make sure that you are getting in done and set deadlines for yourself. Also maybe you could transfer to a similar course in another college.
I think that the dole should be used by people who are transitioning maybe career wise but if someone is on the dole for 10 years by choice as they are an unsuccessful musician that really pisses me off. You have to call it a day at some stage and start working so set that for yourself. maybe by next year.

LegacyUser

There are many people out there who never take time off from what they are doing to follow a dream.

Tell people that you are writing your book.

If it gets published then great, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

I was just discussing older people living back at home with their folks with a friend yesterday. See, the only reason why you feel like a "waster" is because you have your folks hovering around you judging you. They probably never had an opportunity to take time off.

You have to go back to your original plan and say to yourself "at the time I made the decision I felt was right" because at the time it was the right decision for you.

I work for myself - I spent a lot of time sitting around not doing a lot before I started.

It takes guts to go against the grain

As for your book - what's more worthwhile - 400 pages of a book that you've put your heart and soul into OR 40 hours a week working for someone else (balancing books, serving people, being part of corporate culture or what ever that job may be).

You'll always have the book (whether published or not) but you can't get your time back.

My parents thought I was wasting my life a few years ago but I was just taking my time... I now run a successful small business after a couple of years of travelling and bumming around at home.

Explain to your folks what you are doing. It'll take the pressure off yourself

LegacyUser

Yes you are a waster- many budding writers artists etc work in the rela world while they are working on their books etc. Most books never ever get published. While you should cntinue writing - depending on it being published and doing nothing else in my eyes defines you as a waster.

PS I hope the book does get published - what's it about

Eve_Dublin

Your absolutely NOT a waster OP...sounds like your making the most of your time from what you said. You're writing a book and you've picked (although not out of choice) the perfect time to do it. Culture flourishes during times like this. To the poster telling the OP to get a job...I work in an area where I know first hand how hard it is to get a job ...ANY job at the moment...even for a graduate, which the OP is not (although ironically I've recently been made unemployed...so I'm emigrating). People who think it's easy or give the advice of "get a job" are the lucky ones who really have no idea how bad things are at the minute.

Please make sure you follow through with this book (as an ex librarian and a book lover...we need people like you to keep us in business) and don't just talk about it and remember that this country can be very conservative at the best of times. People who tend to be creative or choose a different path are put down...as another poster said, f**k the begrudgers!! Some of the greatest writers of all time lived in poverty and never made a penny during their lifetime. You're in a position now where you can write...okay, your parents house is not the perfect conditions but your lucky to have somewhere so you SHOULD realise that your lucky in that sense. I have a friend from Ireland writing a book in a squat in London surviving on 40 quid a week. His parents are skint and he has no choice. Writing a book is not a part-time occupation if your serious about it.

Anyway, I hope you finish it OP. Your doing what others could only dream of.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, even the negative ones!

To answer a few questions. My course required me to take a year out, I've done 3 years and I was going to do my 4th year in a similar but different discipline but that didn't go to plan.

I have written approx 72,000 of an 80,000 word book. But it is still a first draft and will require some editing to be publishable. I work on it everyday and am very serious about it.

As someone already pointed out it is very easy to tell someone to get a job when you have a job yourself. I was working last summer in what I am qualified in but was let go due to the downturn. I was really lucky to get the 3 months work considering NONE of my classmates got any. I am still looking for work, have even offered to work for free but there is no work.

cutymonalisa

Good on you for following your dream op - that is if you can afford to do so. If you are claiming dole I'd see you as a bit of a waster tbh - I don't see why taxpayers who are strapped enough should contribute towards funding your ambition when you have chosen not to better your job chances through your postgrad in favour of writing your book, not least in the current circs.

I hazard a guess you are in your early to mid 20's - you have a lifetime ahead to fulfill your ambition!

JonathanAnon

I dont think you're a waster either. BUT, writing a book is not something that you should do unless you have a serious chance of getting it published, or have had previous books published before.

It's VERY hard to get a job at the moment and without your course you are unlikely to be able to get a job in your chosen course. If you feel that bad, suck it up get a menial job to support yourself. A lot of people with a lot more qualifications/experience are doing similar to pay mortgages for houses they cant now afford. It's just the times we're in.

Eve_Dublin

JonathanAnon wrote: »

I dont think you're a waster either. BUT, writing a book is not something that you should do unless you have a serious chance of getting it published, or have had previous books published before.

It's VERY hard to get a job at the moment and without your course you are unlikely to be able to get a job in your chosen course. If you feel that bad, suck it up get a menial job to support yourself. A lot of people with a lot more qualifications/experience are doing similar to pay mortgages for houses they cant now afford. It's just the times we're in.

Those menial jobs aren't as easy to come by anymore Jonathan, they really aren't and in fairness to the OP, how does he know if the book has a chance of getting published until he finishes it, gets himself an agent etc?

Do you really believe art should only be created for fame or recognition? I don't agree. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone OP but it sounds like you have problem accepting your own circumstances...why look externally for acceptance? You probably won't get it so I wouldn't knock your confidence anymore by looking for opinions on an internet forum. Just my opinion anyway.