What happened?! Opinions please..

LegacyUser

Hi Guys just wondering what your opinions are on this situation....( Sorry it's a long one!)

I was sort of seeing this guy I work with, when I say work with I mean in the same company... it's a big enough company but I would see this guy every day but we don't work directly with each other.

I should mention I am a few years older than this guy but both in our twenties.

The first night I kissed this guy we were out on a work night out, he had a girlfriend and things were not going well so he finished with her. One of his friends let slip to his ex he had kissed someone from work so she presumed he finished with her for me.. this is not the case.

We didn't speak for a while after as we both thought each other was mortified about it. Until the next night out we talked and realised we liked each other, so we exchanged numbers etc.

We were texting quite alot after that, most days actually. We then arranged to go out for drinks after work when a group was going. Had a great night, I stayed in his place but nothing sexual happened, I had said I would stay but not to think that would happen, he was cool with that, he agreed.

The next work night out he couldn't go to but he was ragin he couldn't go... but we dedcided to meet up after both our parties had ended. He had told me that day his ex was wrecking his head with texts and calls giving him abuse and she was upset. He knew she was going to be at the same party as him.

I went to his house, he told me the ex had started at the party. Saying stuff to him and she punched him. As I was drunk I said I can't blame her.. you did do the dirt on her! (I did not mean this, I was mortified the next day when he told me! )Anyway both of us were extremely drunk i was probably the worst! Things heated up a bit... and we ended up having sex, which I don't remember!!!!! He said it was on ly for 2 minutes so it's ok???! I was freaked out by this as this is not something I would normally do and to not be able to remember it is even worse! So i was a little off with him then as I was upset. He tried re assure me it was fine.

So me being an eejit I said oh will you ring in sick monday I cant face you... ( Don't ask me why i said this...possibly still drunk! ) he said that's a bit harsh... realising it was, I tried to back track! When we were texting after i just text him sayin I would give him money he paid for my taxi to his house the night before during the week, he said no its fine you dont have to. I didnt text him back.. I had convinced myself what's the point now he must think I'm a bitch and a slut!

So on the moday I gave him the money, he was grand and we were chatting away so I thought everything was ok. Then over the next two days I realised he was off with me... so I text and asked why.. he replied and said that he didnt think he was off with me but he doesn't think he should be seeing anyone from work, we should just be mates! So i just said yeah cool.... and left it at that...

I am so confused because he seemed so keen.... and I know the work thing is just an excuse!!!

I am not going to ask him anything more about it as I do have to see him every day.... but its wrecking my head!!! Do you think it's the ex thats causing this?? Or maybe he's just not that into me....!!!

Once again sorry it was so long.... your opinions are appreciated!!

DamoDLK

If I was him, I probably would have taken exception to the "don't come into work" line you gave him.. and the paying for taxi stuff. it would seem to me (if i were him) like you were trying to close your ties with me (him). Theres obviously chemistry.. but i'd leave it sit for a few days - let him make next move - he'll want to make sure.

Good luck.:)

LegacyUser

DamoDLK wrote: »

If I was him, I probably would have taken exception to the "don't come into work" line you gave him.. and the paying for taxi stuff. it would seem to me (if i were him) like you were trying to close your ties with me (him). Theres obviously chemistry.. but i'd leave it sit for a few days - let him make next move - he'll want to make sure.

Good luck.:)

Thanks DamoDLK Here's hoping he will get back to me but it's been a week now!

Gyalist

From your post:

Work night out, drink, parties, violent ex, extremely drunk, drunk sex...

Do you see a pattern there? Do you thing that is an ideal base for a relationship?

Do you think it's the ex thats causing this?? Or maybe he's just not that into me....!!!

It could be that with all the ex-girlfriend drama going on he doesn't want to further complicate his life by jumping into another relationship or, just as likely, you were just a rebound fling to him.

DamoDLK

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks DamoDLK Here's hoping he will get back to me but it's been a week now!

Have you had zero communication from him all week? I know its only Wednesday..

Oryx

This is how your story appears to an observer.

He works with you (or at least sees you at work). He likes the look of work style you. He sees you out, you chat and get along. So far, so good.

He ends a messy relationship. Which is a separate issue.

While still rebounding from her, gets drunk and gets it on with you, kinda. Still so far so good-ish.

Then, you both get ratassed drunk and meet up. He suddenly meets the non work drunk you. You have embarrassing fumbly drunk sex. Non work hungover you says some odd things to him. Hes rebounding, embarrassed, confused and might be getting a brush off.

It may be wrecking your head, but Id say considering the above, his is worse. So I can understand his backing off.

Go back to work style you and be mates with him. Dont get drunk and make any passes at him. If you want to get together with him, get to know him sober, and let the dust settle on the mess above.

LegacyUser

Gyalist wrote: »

From your post:


Do you see a pattern there? Do you thing that is an ideal base for a relationship?



It could be that with all the ex-girlfriend drama going on he doesn't want to further complicate his life by jumping into another relationship or, just as likely, you were just a rebound fling to him.

I see what you mean... but I guess when it's someone from work sometimes things have to start this way...no one is going to walk up to someone in an office and ask them out!!

It could possible be that I was just a fling, didn't seem like that at the time as he seemed quite keen!

DamoDLK - The only real contact I've had is seeing him and sayin hello....

LegacyUser

Oryx wrote: »

This is how your story appears to an observer.

He works with you (or at least sees you at work). He likes the look of work style you. He sees you out, you chat and get along. So far, so good.

He ends a messy relationship. Which is a separate issue.

While still rebounding from her, gets drunk and gets it on with you, kinda. Still so far so good-ish.

Then, you both get ratassed drunk and meet up. He suddenly meets the non work drunk you. You have embarrassing fumbly drunk sex. Non work hungover you says some odd things to him. Hes rebounding, embarrassed, confused and might be getting a brush off.

It may be wrecking your head, but Id say considering the above, his is worse. So I can understand his backing off.

Go back to work style you and be mates with him. Dont get drunk and make any passes at him. If you want to get together with him, get to know him sober, and let the dust settle on the mess above.

Thanks for your reply

I see what you mean...I would rather get to know him sober anyway, I forget too much when drunk!!

I just hope I get the chance to chat to him normally now, when I see him in work now he kind of looks at me funny, I guess this is understandable.

Thanks again

LegacyUser

"Things heated up a bit... and we ended up having sex, which I don't remember!!!!! He said it was on ly for 2 minutes so it's ok???!"

Is this not a tad worrying to anyone else?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

"Things heated up a bit... and we ended up having sex, which I don't remember!!!!! He said it was on ly for 2 minutes so it's ok???!"

Is this not a tad worrying to anyone else?

Well yes it is to me.... as I said I was freaked out.. I forget things are a couple of drinks, that's just the way I am and i was very drunk so there is no chance of me remembering, yes even having sex.. frightening i know

themacdaddy

Unregistered wrote: »

As I was drunk I said I can't blame her.. you did do the dirt on her! (I did not mean this, I was mortified the next day when he told me! )

So me being an eejit I said oh will you ring in sick monday I cant face you... ( Don't ask me why i said this...possibly still drunk! )

No disrespect but from what you have said above you seem pretty moody especially with drink in you. He may think so too and so you probably have scared him off or pushed him away. He is just after coming out of a bad relationship and the last thing he wants is another girl who is giving him grief all the time.

LegacyUser

themacdaddy wrote: »

No disrespect but from what you have said above you seem pretty moody especially with drink in you. He may think so too and so you probably have scared him off or pushed him away. He is just after coming out of a bad relationship and the last thing he wants is another girl who is giving him grief all the time.

I know you're probably right.... wouldn't mind I'm a different person sober, my own worst enemy drunk, will learn from this

Do you think there is anything i can do to fix this?