Great to be Irish!

Jay D

Sitting together on a train, travelling through the
Swiss Alps,
were an English guy, an Irish bloke, a little old
Greek lady,
and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.

The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds
later there is the
sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the English
guy has a bright
red, hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks:
The English guy must have groped the blonde in the
dark,
and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde Swiss girl thinks:
That English guy must have tried to grope me in the
dark, but missed
and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

The English guy thinks:
That Paddy (Irish) bloke must have groped the blonde
in the dark - she
tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

And the Irish guy thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack
that English
cúnt
again.....

dh0661

Classic

Jay D

Glad you like it, it's actually an email my sister sent me about 3 years ago but I kept it and thought it should be unleashed on society again

sisco

Haha!! Love It

ciaburkie

HA!!!

JennyMaguire

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven God went missing for seven days.

Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him.
He enquired of God 'Where were you?'

God breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds.
Look son, look what I'm after making'.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said 'What is it?'

God replied It's another planet, but I'm after putting Life on it.
I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it.
For example, there's North America and South America.

North America is going to be rich and South America will be poor, and
the narrow bit joining them will be a hot spot.

Now look over here I've put a continent of whites in the North and
another one of blacks in the south.'

Then the Archangelsaid 'What's that green dot there?'

'Ahhh, that's the Emerald Isle,' God said, 'that's a very special place.

That's going to be the most glorious spot on Earth, beautiful
mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and exquisite coastline.
These people here are going to be God's own people, the salt of the
Earth, they'll be great craic and they're going to be found traveling
the world spreading the craic.
They'll be playwrights and poets, singers and songwriters and I'm
going to give them this black liquid, which they're going to go mad
on, and for which people will come from the far corners of the Earth
to drink.'

Michael the Archangelgasped in wonder and admiration, then seemingly
startled, he said, 'Hold on a second, what about BALANCE, you said
there was going to be balance..?'

God winked and replied wisely, 'Wait 'til you see the w@nkers I'm
putting next door to them!!

dh0661

Nice one Jenny