Couple Of Funnies

Rufus.T.Firefly

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

'Where did you get that truck???!!!'

He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.'

'With what money?' demanded his parents.

They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

'Well,' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.'

So the parents began to yell even louder.

'Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said.

'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy.

I don't know her name - they just moved in.

She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.'

'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser.

Who knows what she will do next?

John, you go right up there and see what's going on.'

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband.

I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back.

He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money.

So I did.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening.

They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.

The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn’t want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night.

She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon.

“He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

”Sorry I took so long, “he says as they drive away..

“Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.

Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!

She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck.

Then I had to wrap her in a blanket keep her from scratching me.

But it worked.

I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”


The cabdriver hit a parked car!!!!!

Capt'n Midnight

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/4122842.stm

ciaburkie

lol

fintonie

Three men married wives from different countries. The first man married a woman from China . He told her that she was to do their dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Italy . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Ireland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher!!!!

_SONIC_

my my my rufus. keep up the good work!!!

stars are deserved 4 them!!!!

:D:D:D

noodletop

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/west_midlands/4122842.stm

that is a very true story the poor guy had to pay £10,000 to get his car back after his wife sold it online for 50p . bet he stops to think next time jodie marsh is on his show...................