Advice please!

LegacyUser

Hi, going unreg for this.

Looking for advice please as this isuse is dragging me down with worry and stress and causing a rift in the family.

My younger brother and I bought a place together several years back now. He was contracting and doing pretty well but has been out of work since the end of jan.

At this point I offered to cover all bills and mortgage for an initial period of 3 months, he would pay me back when he had returned to earning a living. The thing is after an initial 3-4 week period of lazing about, he realised that finding another job and budgeting on a dole payment wasn't so easy. He moved out without a word to me and went to my parents place to live off them for free. My parents were the ones to inform me what had happened.

It has been over 6 months now and I'm still covering the mortgage and a personal loan that we had taken out for home improvements. I haven't had any contributions from him nor have we spoken since he walked away from his bills and responsibilites and left me to take care of everything.

His social life hasn't suffered and he is out at least once or twice a week, as I've heard from my parents and mutual friends.

The situation is causing friction between my parents and I too as I feel they could be doing more, rather than just sheltering him and allowing him to live rent and hassle free off their backs while I'm really struggling to cope with the additional burden.

I have gone interest only on the mortgage so that has eased matters but with no apparent end in sight I really am frustrated and resentful of all the sacrafices I keep having to make each week and month.

Basically I'm just looking to see what I can do next and what my options are. I don't want to be falling out with family and in particular my parents but I do hold them partially responsible for allowing him to get away with it and not remind him that he has responsibilities and his actions are causing great difficulty to me.

humanji

Confront him and tell him that he has to pay his share, even if it's a small amount. Tell you parents this too. Point out that it's difficult for you to do on your own and that you could lose the house. You may want to try an avoid confrontation, but in this situation, you can't. Your brother is screwing you over and doesn't seem to care.

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear about your situation it is unfortunately one that is all too common at the moment.

If your brother is out of work and is a contractor then the truth is he probably has no immediate work prospects, in that situation if he has no savings then he simply won't be able to contribute. I think you need to look at wheither or not you can afford to bail him out on an ongoing basis, if you cant then you may need to sell the house and split the proceeds with him (less the payments he owes).

You can't really blame your parents imo, its not really anything to do with them and most parents will take their children in, in difficult times.

ManOfMystery

Is there any more to this story?

Just seems strange that you and your brother had a good enough relationship to actually go into a mortgage and buy a house together ..................... yet from what I can garner, he moved out without a word and you haven't spoken for 6 months.

Was there any argument beforehand, any fall out, etc?

bambera

You guys really really need to sit down and talk about it. You're probably going to have to be the one to push for this because from judging from what you say, he's happy to let things go on as they are.

Decide what your options are. If possible I suggest that his name be taken off the mortgage (I dont know anything about mortgages so i could be wrong) and consider renting his room out. But only take these steps after you have talked to him.

bSlick

For god sake isn't it obvious what you should be doing? You have a massive financial commitment with your brother and you haven't bothered to talk to him since he walked out on the house and that commitment back in january?! Obviously the answer is talk to him and find out what the story is.

kmick

Keep a log of what he owes you. If it were me I would ring him and tell him he needs to start contributing again. Keep it very friendly though. No threats just a simple business that needs to be looked after from his end.

LegacyUser

Not sure if I should ask, but did you happen to sign a joint ownership agreement before buying?if not its never too late to draw one up. i agree with everyone else about the talking to him but maybe you should think of a few different options before just going in and asking him to cough up when he just mightn't have the money. Can you afford to buy him out? you could get 4/5 values from different estate agents and take the average for the price and then do it all through a solicitors. Brother or not, it was a joint investment, a business deal, and keep it like that. You could look at a time frame for him paying back , if after that time and he doesn't then don't give him an option, you will be funding it, it'll be your choice. Is there any rental potential...rent a room scheme?

Family or not,it was a business agreement, but you do need to talk to him to sort it out!

dearg lady

With dole plus claiming mortgage relief(or whatever it's called, what you get when unemployed) he should have been able to contribute, speak to him about claimin this. It's not fair, nor is it feasible in the long term, for you to keep paying his portion. If he decides to stay in your parents, consider renting out his room, there's should be minimal or no tax liability as you can use 'rent a room' relief