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Freedom

  • 18-08-2009 7:46pm
    #1
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭


    Did you find in your late 20s that you where slightly terrified of settling down with a chick/lady ?
    its not so much the commitment.

    More so the freedom thing. my friends seem to have a good relationship i think some of the women/gfs are quite dominant as they decide what goes on and happens plans etc ..The men kinda say well thats women for you.
    Like for instance they can't spend the day with the lads because there gfs wants them with them I'm not talking about drinking im talking about having fun doing what we do as a circle of friends...Like at time's i think women can be really demanding.

    Yet men are not always but can be...
    I'm just wondering did you ever find that your freedom almost dissipated when that happened ? like with everything there's compromise but to be honest it
    terrifys me that I may one day have this other person to think about before I make dessions which is a pretty big thing for me.

    but how did you feel ? and did it work out ? does she understand that you like to do stuff with your mates like she does ? or what ?

    cheers just sorta curious :)


Comments

  • #2
    Will
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,183 ✭✭✭✭Will


    I'm 23, so can't really answer too well. However, the thought of settling down now would not suit me. Being in a relationship would be fine but settling down etc. I wouldn't be cool with, not right now.

    In any healthy relationship there needs to be give and take from both sides. And also a bit of freedom. The relationships you are talking about above seem like the insular relationships some people get into, where they block out the world and focus on themselves, losing themselves and friends in the process. That's not good, i think.

    I've never felt like my freedom was 'under threat' for want of a better word. Then again I'm 23 and not in my late 20's where people's mindsets are different (i think)


  • #3
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    I turned 30 this year and I have to say the idea of settling down is not that unappealing.Throughtout my 20s I had no major long term relationships,they all lasted under 12 months and that never really bothered me.

    Dont get me wrong,Im certainly not looking for a wife or anything like that because the fact is I have no intention of settling for someone that I view as being less than perfect for me.

    I have noticed that Ive been thinking about kids a bit too.I wouldnt mind having a wee Ned or 2 running around the place,but again,it would have to be in the right context and at the right time.

    I have one friend in particular,he is mad to find himself a wife.He will be 30 in October,bought his own place this year and has a job for life so he has gotten it into his head that a woman is the next logical step.He was seeing a girl a few months ago and he came on so strong he scared her off.

    So to answer your question,the thought of losing my freedom so to speak doesnt bother me in the slightest but thats because I know Im not going to end up with someone that will expect me to give up my freedom (within reason of course)With the right person its something I would be more than willing to do.My days of hardcore boozing for 3 days straight are more or less past me anyway.


  • #4
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    cool answer's. I'm not looking for something my self, either well really its not something I feel is that important yet, as I've got other things to do want collage hopefully next September. Again.

    The reason I started this thread was something I saw this weekend, which really changed my perspective on things.
    like my friends who have gfs have to think of them to, where as me. I do what I want when I want, which I love, but with my mates some of them are given a time to be back from. which is a bit mammy syndrome ish it just seems so strange and almost alien as I have had gf majority of them not very long travelling and stuff so i move around a bit.

    It's just something, strange. I do realise that one day im going to meet a girl whos going to rock my world and i will give her more time which is cool and all but the hardiest things is going to be the lack of freedom to do my sport's..

    But with it come compromise..


  • #5
    Mackman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,810 ✭✭✭Mackman


    Op, I was the same as you when i was single, i could do what i wanted, when i wanted. and i loved it. Then i met my OH. It took a while for me to adjust, having to think about her and not be too spontanious ;)
    But its not the whole "ball and chain thing", if you find the right person, you WANT them to do things with you, and you enjoy all the time you spend together, with friends or on ye're own


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