Sell engagement ring

LegacyUser

My Parents live in an old house with very little or no insulation, and I have thought about getting the walls pumped with insulation to help keep it warmer for them in the winter. They have no oil heating etc, just a back boiler which means you need to light the fire every morning to get water heated and radiators warmed!

I've always thought about getting the walls pumped as a present for them, and they're getting older etc.
I recently priced getting this done, but it costs way more than I had expected.

The money is hard to save. But... I have an engagement ring from an ex that it sitting in a safe at home doing nothing for the past few years.

What would People think of me selling my engagement ring. I have no desire to 'have to' sell it for the sake of getting rid of it. But it's sitting doing nothing, and I rarely even think of it, and never look at it. It would be much more useful put into something, and my Parents would be better off in the Winter.

My ex and I don't talk so I couldn't run this by him. Just wondered what People would think. Is it an acceptable thing to do?

As I said I don't want to sell it to gain profit from it, or kit out my wardrobe! But it is a waste just sitting there when the money could be put to better use!

Lollipops23

hell yeah, do it. will it get you the amount you need though?

K_P

There are grants available for this type of thing - probably the best scheme to apply under would be the Home Energy Saving Scheme from Sustainable Energy Ireland (www.sei.ie).

Trixielicious

It's your ring and you can do what you like to it!!! As you said you are doing it for somebody else's benefit. Also you may be entitled to a grant for this kind of work, check out www.sei.ie and go to the grant section.

puglover

+1 on the grants, get your parents to apply.

It might not be as easy as you think to sell your ring, plus you will probably only get about 40% of the purchase price back.

Oh The Humanity

Yeh, get rid of it. Sure who else would care!?

Of course its acceptable. Its only lying in a drawer!

Oryx

As with puglover, you wont get a heck of a lot for it unless its a belter of a ring. Jewellery has a high mark up.

Kipperhell

Trixielicious wrote: »

It's your ring and you can do what you like to it!!!

Unless she paid for it it isn't her ring it belongs to him. The rule is very simple you get the ring in order to get married if you don't get married you return the ring. This is both the legal and moral thing to do. Give him the ring back or what every percentage value he paid back from the resale value. It will not be worth what was paid for it.

The grants are pretty much useless as they charge more from the approved companies because of the grant. The house has to be of a particular construction type to use spray method so if it is cavity block construction you can't use that.

Trixielicious

Kipperhell wrote: »

Unless she paid for it it isn't her ring it belongs to him. The rule is very simple you get the ring in order to get married if you don't get married you return the ring.

Well my ex refused to take the ring back saying it was a gift so that "rule" doesn't apply to everybody. OP if you want to take the "legal and moral" route you could always contact your ex and ask him if he would like the ring back. If he doesn't want it then it is yours to do what you like with it.

Kipperhell

Trixielicious wrote: »

Well my ex refused to take the ring back saying it was a gift so that "rule" doesn't apply to everybody.

It does your ex decided to give you the ring as a parting gift. You offered the ring back is the important thing.

LegacyUser

Op here
I'm not trying to be malacious or anything by selling the ring.

I handed my ring back to my ex after he told me he didn't love me anymore!
He didn't want it, and gave it back to me after a few days.
But realistically it isn't any good to anyone really as it is. It doesn't mean anything now.

I never asked for the ring, nor did I take any part in buying the ring. I am not trying to 'go against the rule' but just wondered if it was an ethical thing to do or not.

I hadn't realised I would get little or nothing for the ring, as mentioned in the above posts. And I had always thought it is a waste just sitting there. I don't know the value of the ring etc. But I was told the clarity etc were all very high so I had imagined that I might get a bit for it.

Yes it was given to me in a gesture of love, I think! So I thought maybe it would be a nice way to put it to use in another gesture of love.

Thanks for all the replies. I suppose at the end of the day. Only I can make the decision as long as I know it's for the right reasons.

puglover

Kipperhell wrote: »

Unless she paid for it it isn't her ring it belongs to him. The rule is very simple you get the ring in order to get married if you don't get married you return the ring. This is both the legal and moral thing to do. Give him the ring back or what every percentage value he paid back from the resale value. It will not be worth what was paid for it.

The grants are pretty much useless as they charge more from the approved companies because of the grant. The house has to be of a particular construction type to use spray method so if it is cavity block construction you can't use that.

The legal standing is actually that ring has to be returned only if requested. You are not aware of the circumstances of the break up sp you cannot comment on what is morally correct in this instance.


The grants are not useless OP, it's very easier to become approved so virtually all of them are. There is alot of competition so you should be able to get a very competitive price.

LegacyUser

Thank you Puglover

I will definately look into those grants too. I hadn't heard of them before now. It's worth a go, all they can say is no.

LegacyUser

Kipperhell wrote: »

Unless she paid for it it isn't her ring it belongs to him. The rule is very simple you get the ring in order to get married if you don't get married you return the ring. This is both the legal and moral thing to do. Give him the ring back or what every percentage value he paid back from the resale value. It will not be worth what was paid for it.

The grants are pretty much useless as they charge more from the approved companies because of the grant. The house has to be of a particular construction type to use spray method so if it is cavity block construction you can't use that.

Actually, legally it's hers if he ended the engagement, unless it's an heirloom of his family in which case he gets it back regardless.

Since the OP seems to have a conscience, I'm guessing it was a family heirloom she'd have given it back.

I would have no ethical problem with selling it.

Miaireland

I assume your ex would have asked for it back at this stage, so I would sell it.

I would also investigate all the grants available and get your parents to apply.

Trixielicious

Kipperhell wrote: »

It does your ex decided to give you the ring as a parting gift. You offered the ring back is the important thing.

Actually he didn't give it to me as a parting gift. He told me it was a gift at the time of the proposal not when we broke up. I did offer it back along wit all the other jewellery he bought me but that is my personal choice to do, it is neither moral or a legal thing.

OP I agree that grants are not difficult to come by and personally I would prefer to get a registered contractor to carry out the work therefore you know the standard will be high.

puglover

Op just another quick note, I checked there and if it's more than 3 years since the engagement ended you can do what you like with it.

If your ex decided he wanted the ring back he would have to take any legal action within 3 years.

tbh

sell it! let the money do some good. Sounds like you deserve it If me and my wife broke up, I'd want her to keep the engagement ring no matter what the circs were.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Op here

Yes it was given to me in a gesture of love, I think! So I thought maybe it would be a nice way to put it to use in another gesture of love.

I think this is a good sentiment to have so you should go ahead & sell the ring to help your parents, especially as your ex gave the ring back to you when you tried to return it to him.

Kipperhell

Trixielicious wrote: »

Actually he didn't give it to me as a parting gift. He told me it was a gift at the time of the proposal not when we broke up. I did offer it back along wit all the other jewellery he bought me but that is my personal choice to do, it is neither moral or a legal thing.

By saying he didn't want it meant it was a parting gift whether you believe that or not.

As for anybody claiming that legally it is hers if
A) he broke up the engagement.
not if he doesn't ask for it back.

From my understanding of the law and my friends circumstances, the engagement ring is part of an overall proposal not a gift. The ring is an agreement of marriage without the marriage it should be returned.

If you can think of any moral justifiable reason to keep such a thing good for you I personally find it very low. How anybody would think in an equal society a man should be out of pocket because an engagement doesn't work reeks of sexism to me. No matter what he did the moral thing is to return the ring as it was part of the commitment to get married.

I'm sure people can justify it but don't kid yourself that it is just a gift like any other.

tbh

Kipperhell wrote: »

If you can think of any moral justifiable reason to keep such a thing good for you I personally find it very low. .

I don't - stalemate

Look, if she dumps him, she gives the ring back. If he dumps her, she keeps it. Common sense. Don't feel bad OP. Sell the ring.

iguana

Unregistered wrote: »

I hadn't realised I would get little or nothing for the ring, as mentioned in the above posts. And I had always thought it is a waste just sitting there. I don't know the value of the ring etc. But I was told the clarity etc were all very high so I had imagined that I might get a bit for it.

The best way to maximise your sale price is to take the ring to the places where you would think of selling it and get offers of what they would pay, but don't commit to anything. Then put it on ebay, offering worldwide postage, with a reserve of whatever the highest valuation was. Include as much details as possible in the listing including details of certs and a number of good quality pictures.

Kipperhell has a good point about the grants. To get a grant you usually have to only go with certain companies, and those companies charge more because of the grant. There is a lot of Irish style "backhanderism" in the scheme. It's worth looking into, but tread carefully.

kipperhell wrote:

From my understanding of the law and my friends circumstances, the engagement ring is part of an overall proposal not a gift. The ring is an agreement of marriage without the marriage it should be returned.

The law is that the ring is to be returned if the giver requests it to be given back. If there is a dispute the giver has three years in which to take a court case on the matter. In this case the OP returned the ring but her ex wanted her to have it so it is indisputably, legally or morally, hers.

Aidan_M_M

Sell it! He didn't want it , after getting plenty opportunity to have it back , so sell it . If it was purely for to raise money for fripperies , then I'd disagree, but when the money is to go to such a good cause it is perfectly acceptable .

994

Aidan_M_M wrote: »

Sell it! He didn't want it , after getting plenty opportunity to have it back , so sell it . If it was purely for to raise money for fripperies , then I'd disagree, but when the money is to go to such a good cause it is perfectly acceptable .

Perhaps he wasn't aware that the ring was still his property.

tbh wrote: »

I don't - stalemate

Look, if she dumps him, she gives the ring back. If he dumps her, she keeps it. Common sense. Don't feel bad OP. Sell the ring.

Rubbish. We have no-fault divorce, where a woman can cheat on her husband and still make a killing in the settlement, so I don't see why it should work another way.

kelle

Your post reminds me of when I bought my first house. It was an old cottage in need of repair, and the first thing I did was get in oil heating. It cost £800 (back in 1997), so I sold my wedding dress to pay for it!

It was a very worthwhile investment because the house doubled in value when I sold it 5 years later - and during that time I had comfort living in the house.

sweet-rasmus

i've heard from builders currently in my house that pumping the walls doesn't necessarily mean it fills properly and fully. also, my mother is all excited about a new paint which is an insulator itself and available in local diy stores. haven't a clue about cost http://www.thermilate.com/insulating_paint_additive.shtml Is getting an up to date heating system out of the question for your parents? good luck with whatever you choose to do for them

SarahMc

Your parents would be better off applying under the Warmer Homes Scheme. This is targetted at those living in fuel poverty and the elderly. Rather than getting patr of the cost as a grant, they will get the walls pumped free of charge, they could also get the attic/tank insulated.

Contact the SEI for more info.

Dardania

Whilst I won't be much use to you on the selling the engagement ring issue (too young I'm afraid!) I might be able to advise on heating!

In order of importance when working on an older house, you should look at passive solutions then move onto active (although in your case i wouldn't know how effective/efficient a back boiler would be)

Passive
Roof Insulation
Wall insulation (can be pumping or maybe insulated plasterboard)
Glazing Efficiency (think double glazing, sealed...)
Air tightness (however make sure you leave vents in all rooms so as not to have stale air / humidity problems - common when older houses get sealed)

Active solutions
Would roof mounted solar water heaters be an option? They could work in tandem with the back burner you have now
Condensing gas boiler (if there's natural gas nearby quite a cheap way of heating

As other posters have written there are grants & schemes to help with these!

LegacyUser

OP,
Do what you think it right. You will not be selling it out of spite and you are trying to help your parents. Seems like you have your heart in the right place. I'm sure your ex would have no issue as he caused you enough pain already

Orla K

If your parents are old enough they can get these things without paying or paying very little. I'm not sure of the details but my granny got new windows and doors (they were needed) and her neighbour got insulation or something along those lines. She was talking to the local concillor, just having a chat and she was nice enough to set it all up for my granny. It'll be a good idea to look into it.

Also sell the ring if you've had it for that long then I very much doubt he would start looking for it back. No point keeping it.