Cannot figure it out!!!! Help.

LegacyUser

Ok this has my head wrecked, dont know what to do or think.
Had been kind of seeing a girl a few months back, she was new to town and had very few friends here etc.
Didn't really know her that well but had met her briefly a cpl years previously and we had kept in touch via email while she had been away travelling.
Now the first night we went out for a drink to catch up when she came back we got on great, actually too well got quite drunk, nothing major happened just a bit of messing around and she stayed over at mine.
She did tell me that she was just out of a really bad relationship, 4 years and he had been travelling with her so it was obv fairly serious.
Few days later she kinda said she didn't remember much of the 1st night but i have my doubts....
Anyway for the following month or so we would see alot of eachother, kissing etc. staying over (no sex) just cuddling. She told me alot of very intimate things about herself and her past,
Then when she stopped answering calls one night, went on for a cpl days....couldn't figure it out and it messed up my head and i called texted way too much, just couldn't understand what the prob was, everything seemed fine the day before...
turns out that i had freaked her out cos i called into her the nhat night and she wanted to be left alone, felt that i was pushinf things on her and it wasn't what she wanted...i explained it wasn't my intention and that we'll see how we get on....
thihngs got someway back to normal over next cpl weeks, then she would start saying that we can only be friends shes not over her ex, and would seem to be regretting whenever we kissed etc.
things gradually got more distant, she started refusing my calls not replying to texts, all this hurt me alot cos i wasn't used to it.....my friends were saying to just forget it etc. but i was crazy bout her so that was difficult, at the start i asked her straight out was i wasting my time, did she want to be left alone etc. she would always reply with a no and that she needed space/time/wasn't ready for anything....
Now last week having gone along with the friend (albeit distant, like maybe atxt every cpl weeks) i decided to just forget it, sent her txt telling her how i felt but that it was too hard, and she obviously didn''t feel anything for me.
She rang, said that she was still not over the ex, was still in contact, had even slept with him a few weeks ago "mistake" she said but it was "nice", asked her was she getting back with him....no, i dont know...kinda response,
she told me that i should find someone else and she'd like to meet her, told that woldn't happen cos the way i feel for her it wouldn't be fair on ms X. "Aww i don't know how i feel, if we just calmed down....i dunno maybe" this kinda thing
this isn't fair i either need closure or a glimmer of hope....
Im no fool i can see this will not likely go anywhere but becuase of how i feel for her i am willing to wait....if there is a point
I mean she said t me only last month admittingly while drnk that she does like me but doesn't want me to wait for her cos its not fair and she doesn't know what'll appen...
When i said this to her other nite she just said "don't talk about that anymore"
Other small things, like she asked me not to contact her a few months ago cos she needed time to think, this lsted all of 2 days, started emailing met after a week, and she said she'd wanted to ring me, was weird not talking to me, but had deleted my number.....
now i noticed she has ny numbr deleted still the other nite...."i know it by heart"
Many other small things lead me to believe that there is something there from her part too but i can't be sure anymore...


Sorry for the rant, but should i really just move on now, or should i hold out hope...i mean id drop everything and run away with this one in the morn if she said the word, never met anyone like her doubt i ever will again...

prinz

I knew a girl like that, almost exactly the same story, and I was in your shoes. Sorry mate but you're a crutch. Move on now.

Monkey61

Urgh I know how this one goes OP. It is horrible but the truth is, it is never going to happen.

She may like you a bit, but if she liked you enough then she would want to be with you. She doesn't so you have to move on. You are handy enough for her to have there when she is lonely, but she doesn't feel strongly enough to want to be with you.

If you like someone, you will be with them no matter what. Exes, even recent ones of a long term don't matter.

These situations always work out the same way, you can keep hanging on, but she will eventually meet someone else and suddenly be over her ex and ready to move on and you will be left standing on the sidelines even more upset than you are now.

Cease contact immediately. Let her go her way. And you work on getting out there, making the best of your life and making yourself happy. Once you meet someone better than her, you will wonder what you ever saw in her. It may seem impossible now, but that is how it goes.