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Shy in bed

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  • 17-08-2009 8:19pm
    #1
    Lady Muck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 58 ✭✭


    Don't know what it is but I seem to have a problem at the moment regarding sex.

    I am not as forward as I used to be, I feel paranoid about giving him oral, I am quiet and want to show him how much I enjoy it with him but I don't know what has happened.

    We have been together ages so I don't get it.

    Have you any tips on how to get more confidence and a reason as to why things have changed for me?!


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    #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,092 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Why do think you've changed? Is it a sudden thing or gradual? If it's a sudden thing it may well be a passing phase kinda thing, if it's going on for longer it may be more of a concern.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Going un'regd for this... Personally, I've never been particularly shy in bed - I was very outgoing in fact. But this was with flings and not with a man who I was going to end up with. When I met my OH, I completely changed. I think it's because that it means more - at least it does in my case.

    OP, is this a serious relationship? Could it be that because it means more that you feel more aware of what you're doing?

    It took a few weeks of settling into the relationship for me to get the self-conciousness out of the way!


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    #4
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Could it be something as simple as you've put on some weight so are feeling unattractive/undesireable?

    Or as unregistered says, could it be that you are feeling more of an emotional connection now which has changed sex somewhat?

    A suggestion might be to join the gym? You'll feel good mentally and physically which might help things...


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    #5
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    Lady Muck wrote: »
    Don't know what it is but I seem to have a problem at the moment regarding sex.

    I am not as forward as I used to be, I feel paranoid about giving him oral, I am quiet and want to show him how much I enjoy it with him but I don't know what has happened.

    We have been together ages so I don't get it.

    Have you any tips on how to get more confidence and a reason as to why things have changed for me?!

    Talk to him about it :) tell him you feel uncertain and your confidence is for some reason a bit low.... he should know that he needs to give you a boost until you relax ...

    All the best !


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ooh, another Unregg'd person here who's exactly the same. I've only been with my new guy twice but both times, I've felt incredibly shy around him. He's the first man I've slept with in about two years, so maybe that's it for me... but I was never shy around any of the casual flings I used to have. Maybe it is because this means more... I don't know.


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