I sound like a teenager... but does he like me?!

LegacyUser

Hi folks, regular-ish giver of fantastically sound advice, just can't sort myself out! As above really, I'm cringing even asking this.
There's a guy at work I'm fairly demented about, not my dept but still a regular contact. Is known for being fairly quiet but a "gentleman". He's definitely single and knows I am. I seem to get on great with him and he always stops to chat to me whereas he passes others by. Very friendly and we always end up laughing, and he sometimes drops by my desk when a phonecall would do, we're not in the same part of the building. Sometimes when the conversation is over he'll ask how my weekend was or something which he doesn't really have to do. I get teased about him by my colleagues, they think we'd be a perfect match, but I would never dare ask him out. Not a teenager by any means but shy enough when it comes to this kind of thing.
I suppose my main question is: does the fact that we've been chatting away goodo for over a year now and he hasn't asked me out mean he definitely doesn't like me? Or is there even a slight chance that he's shy/intimidated etc? One of my best male friends once told me guys would be a bit scared of me as I was bright and did well in college, I am not a scary person I swear!
Thanks and sorry, this is ridiculous...

VaioCruiser

Hi OP - first of all there is nothing ridiculous about it

Don't forget the advice that people have often given here before about workplace relationships - people are always on their best behaviour... etc etc etc...

That said I would honestly say to you ... are you really ready to let life pass you by for the want of a bit of awkwardness asking a guy for coffee ? Because if you are ... then life WILL pass you by ! and I say that in all honesty and wishing you the best.

Next time you are chatting about something meaningless in the office... suggest a coffee after work .. I mean, what is the worst that can happen ? he says he is not interested ? you go for coffee and he is not interested ? ... not exactly the end of the world :rolleyes:

As to whether he is interested ... who knows ... and again ... are you willing to lose out for the want of trying ?

Get out there and find out.

All the best ! and come back and let us know ok ?

LegacyUser

OP here, that's such a lovely reply, thanks a million I'll see if I can muster up some courage so! At least you don't think it's a total write-off.
Thanks again.

LegacyUser

A lot of guys (and I would be the same) would be very wary about going out with a girl from work. He may like you but have this at the back of his mind.

snowy2008

go for it!!!! is he in today?!!!!

ManOfMystery

I work with my OH, though not closely, we don't really see each other on a daily basis. Anyway, we got chatting on a night out and got on great even though we'd never really had a proper conversation in the years we worked for the same company. I wanted to ask her out for a while, but kept finding reasons not to (I shouldn't go on dates with a workmate, it might be awkward, she might not reciprocate the feelings, etc).

Eventually I said f**k it to myself and asked her out, and we've been together since - best thing I ever did.

If he doesn't want coffee, or doesn't want to progress past being friends, then there's no harm done - you're only testing the water here, it's not like you're about to declare undying love and ask for marriage.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

LegacyUser

OP here again! Yes he was in today, yes we had a lovely chat and no I didn't have the nerve!!! I promise I'm gearing up to it though, have actually never done this before so am out in a cold sweat thinking about it. Thanks to all, I'm way more confident now than I was x

winking weber

Aww. I was in a similar position with a guy from work and asked him for a drink. He's now amongst my best friends so I'm delighted I did even if nothing came of it romantically. You dont have much to lose with asking him for a coffee, but potentially loads to gain

Faith

It's tough to call, because it could just be that he thinks you're a good friend. I'd go out of my way at work to chat to someone I get on well with. Do you ever get teased about being together when he's there? How does he react?

Honestly, the only way you'll know is if you ask him out. Personally, I'd ask him for a drink rather than coffee. Coffee could be interpreted as friendly, whereas a drink usually means more. I hope it works out for you .

1071823928

i think you should go for it!!!
i would definatley ask him out if i were you!
but you could ask a few others aswell and make a work night out of it, if you feel a bit morto!
but id say you'd be better off on your own anyway, i think he likes you!:)

supremenovice

not a bad idea from hanner, you can disguise it by asking a group from work out for drinks and then get your wicked ways with him there
Good luck

JCDUB

I don't think hanner's idea is a good one.

If you're gonna ask him out then go for it, but the whole disguising it as a work thing might blow up in your face and you could be back to square one re:confusion.

At least if you ask only him out then he knows what you're asking.

But yeah, I say go for it, I'm a bloke and from the sounds of your post OP you're in like Flynn;)

Best of luck!

Slightly off-topic, but do many people ask people out for coffee if they're interested in them?
I never would, it'd always be a drink or dinner.Just find the night-time atmosphere more relaxing I suppose, it's what I'm used to..

VaioCruiser

It depends on how confident we are I think, and how we think they might react ?

Coffee is for when we are especially nervous and being tentative... Drinks/dinner is when we feel we are on solid ground.

All the best

Blazer

Go for it.
Fact is he's calling around to your desk instead of ringing you.
Asking you how your weekend was etc...he's definitely interested but probably nervous as well.
I work in a large company and lots of people that work here have got together.
Sounds like ur in different departments so it's not a big deal that ye work in the same place.

Beruthiel

You don't directly work with him so ask him out for a drink!
You've nothing to loose.

Irishcrx

If I was single and knew a girl I liked was, I wouldn't wait a year to ask her out thats just me though.

itsadeathtrap

yeah i think the guy likes you and if he is shy too then ye will be going around in circles, grow a pair and ask him out. whats the worst that can happen... the big scary "NO".

but hey nothing ventured nothing gained as a few have all ready stated.....

DO IT.......................................................................... :D:D

snowy2008

definatly do it and give us updates!!!! maybe even get on his facebook, does he have one? maybe you should ask what hes doing for lunch?!!!!!