The Empire Strikes Back!

darkman2

Britain imposes direct rule of Turks and Caicos isles

Britain has imposed direct rule on the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos after an investigation found evidence of corruption among the territory’s officials. The British government said it had suspended the government and legislature of its former colony and put the London-appointed governor in charge. The British Foreign Office minister, Chris Bryant, said the suspension could last up to two years while Governor Gordon Wetherell “put the islands’ affairs back in good order.” Prime Minister Michael Misick, who was implicated in the investigation, resigned in March. His successor, Galmo Williams, called the move a “coup.” “Our country is being invaded and recolonized by the United Kingdom, dismantling a duly elected government and legislature and replacing it with a one-man dictatorship,” he said.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/15/world/americas/15web-briefs-Turkscaicos.html?_r=1


The UK picking on small islands? - Ohhh you look so powerful and important..... Unless....

Turks & Caicos then Cyprus then ->

---

Ireland ?

4zn76tysfajdxp

darkman2 wrote: »

Turks & Caicos then Cyprus then ->

---

Ireland ?

Only in the unlikely event of our government being found to be too corrupt to govern.



Oh wait...

brummytom

Kayleigh Bewildered Donkey wrote: »

Only in the unlikely event of our government being found to be too corrupt to govern.



Oh wait...

And you all thought I was just here to chat.


/evil laugh

Cookie_Monster

It's just a re-organisation:)

They let Jamaca go a couple of weeks ago

ejmaztec

You can't let your tax havens go to sh1t, it's not cricket.

ScumLord

The British Foreign Office minister, Chris Bryant, said the suspension could last up to two years while Governor Gordon Wetherell “put the islands’ affairs back in good order.”

Gordon took the job as Governor of the small Caribbean island to get away from the mayhem of Gotham, but trouble just seemed to follow him where ever he went.

Euro_Kraut

I, for one, welcome their new overloards...

Long Onion

They never really got over that Falklands thing - could we swap them Turks & Caicos for Tipperary?

ejmaztec

Long Onion wrote: »

They never really got over that Falklands thing - could we swap them Turks & Caicos for Tipperary?

"It's a long way to Turks and Caicos, it's a long way to go......."


Nah, that doesn't sound right.:o

stovelid

In this case, it would seem that they really did turk their land.

enniscorthy

oh they are a disaster a travesty an outrage to think this could happen in the year of 2009 bring back the wolfetones all is forgiven :p

Bragadin

the vast british empire increases it's territory by 2%. A land area slightly larger then the isle of wight will surely be the jewel of the empire!

BRITAIN SOILDERS ON

thebouldwhacker

ejmaztec wrote: »

"It's a long way to Turks and Caicos, it's a long way to go......."


Nah, that doesn't sound right.:o

Yea but it would prob give limerick a chance at getting into the all Ireland final though...... ouch

ejmaztec

Bragadin wrote: »

the vast british empire increases it's territory by 2%. A land area slightly larger then the isle of wight will surely be the jewel of the empire!

BRITAIN SOILDERS ON

It already is, given the thousands of tax-dodging companies registered there.

Euro_Kraut

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

They let Jamaca go a couple of weeks ago

Really? I thought they became independant some time in the 60's.

ejmaztec

Euro_Kraut wrote: »

Really? I thought they became independant some time in the 60's.

Yes it did. The T&C Islands used to be part of the Jamaica territory before then, but then got split off as a British tax-dodging dependency.

Fratton Fred

To: The citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of
the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign
Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states,
commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America
without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be
disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine
whether
any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules
are introduced with immediate effect (you should look up "revocation" in
the Oxford English Dictionary):

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will
be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spe ll 'doughnut' without
skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by
the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary')

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises
such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let
Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be
adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the
elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem,
God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns
should only be handled by adults. If you're not ad ult enough to sort
things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then
you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything
more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,
you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of
conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you
understand the British sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also
acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation
on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of
British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors
as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors
to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to
having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one
kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some
similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis
will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable
to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not
played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that
there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans
first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. ta x collector) from Her
Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the
acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never
mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in
season.

Overheal

This political move makes no sense.

Wheres the oil?

ChocolateSauce

darkman2 wrote: »

The UK picking on small islands? - Ohhh you look so powerful and important..... Unless....

Turks & Caicos then Cyprus then ->

---

Ireland ?

That's retarded.

hullaballoo

darkman2 wrote: »

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/15/world/americas/15web-briefs-Turkscaicos.html?_r=1


The UK picking on small islands? - Ohhh you look so powerful and important..... Unless....

Turks & Caicos then Cyprus then ->

---

Ireland ?

/oils boots for 2016 rising.

900 YeARRRRRS!!!

fitz0

The Empire is clearly evil and must be wiped out. So heralds the beginning of A New Hope for Turks & Caicos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHOIDhLKrCs