Breaking bad news to Mother

LegacyUser

Hi,
Im a 23 year old male who is in some trouble. Basically I've been charged with assault and the victim says they would prefer compensation and drop the charges. So its been arranged now all I have to do is get the money. Im unemployed at the moment, just finished a masters, so Im finding it fairly difficult to get the cash as u can imagine. However, I have some savings bonds that would more than cover wat i need. The only thing is my Mother needs to co-sign any repayment form which of course means telling her what its for. I had intended on telling her after when it was all sorted to save her the worry.

She's going to be so disappointed with me. I have 3 older brothers who never put a foot wrong. Id imagine she will be extremely shocked as well because I have never been in trouble before either and im certainly not a fighter.
The other thing is that, as I have mentioned, ive just completed a masters which my parents lent me the money for. When she hears about the charge she is goin to think that the whole masters was a waste because she'll be worried ill get a criminal record and wont be able to get a job! Im not worried about this myself but I dont kno how im going to convince her that its going to be ok.

So Im basically looking for a parents perspective on what the best way to breakit to her is? Also, would it be unreasonable to ask her to keep it between myself and her? i mean technically its my business?

Thanks in advance!

hungryhippo

Have you seen a solicitor? Its not for the victim to decide to drop the charges if you have already been charged.

VaioCruiser

I would suggest you tell her about it as soon as possible ... and discuss your options with her. The longer you leave it the worse things will be when it does come out. If it was a once off mental aberration then surely between you you can come up with a solution.
I suggest also that this is a very good solution for you - pay your compensation, take your punishment and LEARN that it's not worth it and violence is not the answer to anyhting.

All the best for your future.

LegacyUser

Hungryhippo: Sorry i didnt word it correctly. Dont want to go into details but yeah its all been sorted out between our 2 solicitors.

Vaiocruiser: Yeah absolutely. It was a one off. Ive been to counselling and everything about it. I just hope my mum understands that.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hungryhippo: Sorry i didnt word it correctly. Dont want to go into details but yeah its all been sorted out between our 2 solicitors.

Vaiocruiser: Yeah absolutely. It was a one off. Ive been to counselling and everything about it. I just hope my mum understands that.

Trust your Mum OP. Open up to her. Lay it all out. This could be a new start.

All the best.

jetski

Thats what you get for hitting people unless your innocent and if thats the case you should fight your corner (no pun intended)

how much compensation and what was the charge? common assault? assaualt causing harm? and what actually happened, possible give you better advice if you tell us more.


I dont agree with the above poster. you could save your mother the worry and shame and just say you need it for a business idea or somthing.

Delirium

jetski wrote: »

Thats what you get for hitting people unless your innocent and if thats the case you should fight your corner (no pun intended)

how much compensation and what was the charge? common assault? assaualt causing harm? and what actually happened, possible give you better advice if you tell us more.


I dont agree with the above poster. you could save your mother the worry and shame and just say you need it for a business idea or somthing.

And hope no-one ever tells the OPs mother.

OP, be honest with your mother.

/V\etalfish

She'll find out eventually and it's better coming from you than anyone else.
Just be honest with her and explain all aspects, including the counselling.

Danbo!

jetski wrote: »

how much compensation and what was the charge? common assault? assaualt causing harm? and what actually happened, possible give you better advice if you tell us more.

Thats bull, what difference does it make what type of assault it was?

Anyway, Im sure your mother will be disappointed in you, but she will get over that. Make sure you let her know that is was a once off and a huge mistake. She will eventually realise that paying compensation will mean no criminal record, therefore the masters was not a waste of time and/or money.

You seem to have shown remorse so make sure she sees that, and count yourself lucky the victim went for compensation rather than charges.

jetski

Whats the difference?

well the difference could be between a black eye or missing teeth, one is slightly more serious than the other.