I feel like i'm never gonna get over him :(

TheCommy

Before anyone tells me time is the only healer........we broke up almost 2 years ago!!

We were together for the best part of 3 years and it's been a big struggle. We have tried no contact again and again and just when i feel like i'm about to be ok...he'll come back begging for....friendship!! Saying he can't live without me but not wanting to be my boyfriend. Though we have ended up in bed a lot. I was very sad for a while when we broke up first and I have to say, I am ok now..i can function without him and that is all ok but if i'm honest he pops in to my head every single day. We're not talking right now and he just recently flew out to America for a year but for some reason i keep dreaming when he gets home he's going to want me back if i keep exercising and perfecting myself while he's away.

I know this is unhealthy, I would never admit it to any of my friends....i just feel like he's got some hold over me and i've such a big soft spot for him i'll never be able to turn my back on him and he's never going to let me go

Trail_Blazer

Time doesn't heal all wounds, if he's coming back and leading you on the "friendship" path, while all at the same time contradicting that by jumping into bed with you, over the course of the past 2 yrs.

It just complicates and compounds things, and so long as you remain "fu*k buddies" you'll never be able to completely/properly move on. I say cut him off completely and focus your attention on other things (family, job, school, whatever) and don't talk to him again.

I had to do it with an ex of mine, and I ended up in the same situation you're in. Of course it only made it that much more difficult for me to move on, and actually took me a total of 3 yrs without speaking to her, to move on from it completely.

Not saying it'd take YOU that long, since everyone's different. But the more you go back and forth, banging and not speaking, etc. the harder you're making it on yourself in the long run. Just my experience.

newtoboards

This is not going to sound great but make the decision that next time he asks for friendship you lay your cards on the table and tell him all or nothing. Time doesn't necessarily heal but moving on and trying to meet someone more deserving does. Get out there and find someone else and start telling yourself you are doing the exercise etc for yourself and not for him. Eventually you'll start believing it.

metrovelvet

Time can only do so much when you keep ripping out the suture.

Wibbs

OP you're the other side of the coin of the lads who regularly start threads in RI where the ex girlfriend is keeping them around for emotional support, but has no intention of going back to them. Same for you, only he's using you for sexual support. In both cases the other person wants something from you, but not a relationship and not what you want. They dole out attention to you to keep you hooked. Maybe not even consciously. As you've found this is no good for you and doesn't allow you heal.

The only option is to break all contact with him. It will be difficult at first, but it's the best first step you can make to a future with you, for you and with someone else. If you had scraped this guy off a year ago, yes you would have been wrecked for a while, but you wouldn't be where you are now. You may even have met someone else.

Take that first step. Good luck.