Girlfriend - moaning

LegacyUser

I am with my girlfriend now for nearly 4 years and everything is great etc. However, when we have sex she never moans and keeps it all inside.

You might wonder if it is me, but apparantly that is the way she always is and it is a lot different that previous g-friends.

I find it extremely frustrating and has made me think of cheating etc. Just seems boring, especially when you know of girls who let their hair down in the course of action.

Not sure what the question is here, just wondering is anyone in the same boat as me?

Seraphina

What you want her to put on a show to stroke your ego?

I can't believe you're seriously thinking about cheating because you don't like the fact that she doesn't moan enough.

Some women moan, some don't. How do you know other girls weren't just faking to get you to hurry up and finish?

If this is the only complaint you have about your sex life you should be VERY VERY happy.

Monkey61

If she is a quiet one there is nothing that you can do really. It doesn't mean that she's not having a great time, it just means that she is quiet. Personally I find the sound of my own voice the least sexy thing in the world and quite a turn off, thus I am relatively quiet and I would find it terribly unenjoyable and distracting to have to put on more of a show so to speak.

I presume that she is being in some way responsive,so that at least you know if whatever you are doing is doing it for her?

memo_to_all

I read the title of this thread and thought "jeeze this guy has alot to learn about women"...but it was a surprise to read what it was really about!:o

Eve_Dublin

My God...you can't be serious?? You're thinking of cheating on the woman you supposedly love because she doesn't moan during sex?

Please do your girlfriend of 4 years that everything is great with a favour and let her find a man who isn't so shallow.

jimmycrackcorm

It's not the noise made that counts, it's the grip during climax that is the measure.

Liam Byrne

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

It's not the noise made that counts, it's the grip during climax that is the measure.

But Jimmy - the OP has probably seen those "reality" porn films and he knows that every woman moans distractingly and annoyingly while having sex!!!! :rolleyes:

OP - if you cooked for her, would you expect her to go "mmmm, yummmm" with every mouthful, or would you guage how much she liked it from other reactions ?

MelonieHead

OP, is your solution to sleep with an ex? Otherwise how would you know if this other girl a "a moaner"? Imagine your frustration if you cheated on your girlfriend with another girl who didn't scream the house down.

Ever girl is different, some moan, others don't. If this is really a huge problem for you then perhaps leave a porno running while you're in the act. Then you can listen to the moaning soundtrack and your girlfriend can enjoy herself without worrying that she's conforming to your idea of what sounds a woman should make while in flagrante.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

It sounds like your looking for something not to like about her for some insecurity that you have of your own that is making you want to look elsewhere,

like- it really is a sign of immaturity to even be considering ending your 4 year relationship because she does not groan enough in bed, you need to humble yourself to this situation and get some perspective, your girlfriend has many qualities that over 4 years have made you happy, this is such a small petty thing to be highlighting, There must be a real reason behind it, I am someone in a very long term relationship and i know you have to work hard to nourish a relationship, also things can get bored but this is not usually the fault of your partner and more to do with what is going on for you.

Another question, what if she finished with you tomorrow? How would you feel about never being with her again?

gogglebok

OP, I think the mention of cheating might have got people's back up, and encouraged the unhelpful strain in many of the replies. How about we leave that option out? It's just not a great way to solve a problem within a relationship.

That leaves us with your unhappiness with a sexually undemonstrative partner. As with any problem where you're unhappy with a partner, I think the first step is to talk to her about it.

Be careful not to let your frustration or unhappiness lead you into aggression or criticism. The last thing you want is her to feel accused. If there is some insecurity at the root of her unresponsiveness, as there may be, you have to be all the more careful to discuss it in a sensitive way. Make it about you, rather than her. "Here's something that would really turn me on", rather than "Why can't you be louder, like the other girls?"

Even if she is not at all insecure, and just takes her sexual pleasure in a happily introverted way, there are lots of ways to compromise. Fantasy and acting are a huge part of many happy sex lives. I don't see what's wrong with encouraging someone to moan a bit from time to time, even if it's primarily to please a partner. (Or to scream Dutch obscenities while punching the headboard, if it comes to that.)

Certainly you should follow your instincts and work on this problem. "Shut up and take what you're given" is not a great policy for a long-term relationship. And if her quietness DOES come from some shyness or insecurity, working on this together could do you both a lot of good.

Good luck.

NickNolte

Get a dictaphone, record the audio from a porno movie and play it during sex? Seriously though, if she's not someone who moans and groans during sex then that's just the way she is. It doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything wrong. Now if you cheat on her because of it... well... then you're just the lowest of the low.

Why not just talk to her about it?

suspectpackage

Are you sure you are doing it right OP? I'm sure I could make her moan.

dudara

suspectpackage

You'll get one warning as you are a new user. Please post on topic, otherwise face a ban.

dudara

Coffee Addict

OMG, will you grow up! You are thinking about cheating on her because she is not like a porn star!
You are with the girl 4 years why is it only becoming a problem now?
You are obviously having an ego issue!

Cupcake Girl

If you are thinking of cheating over this then there are other issues afloat

LegacyUser

My ex never made a sound until he climaxed. No big deal. I agree that you need to grow up. I also think you are not happy in the relationship and are nit picking to find an excuse to get out.

dyl10

Cheat on her OP, if you think it's the logical thing to do...

legend365

Get a dog OP so it can bark everytime you look at it.

Nevyn

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