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Hand * fcukin* bags Grrrrrrrrrr ...

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  • 14-08-2009 1:41pm
    #1
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭


    With the recession raging on and the Unions and employers locked in debate about competitiveness, I have noticed that one issue keeps coming to the fore - productivity.

    The unions keep saying that Irish workers are productive and that's what keeps us going. The employers say that we need to be more productive in order to stage a recovery, until this comes about, they have to cut staff, wages etc.

    Being a married man, I think I see an instant solution - ban handbags.

    My wife spends on average 30mins per day rooting in her hadbag for glasses, phone, keys, purse etc etc. This is about 180 hours per year which is 7.5 lost days per year.

    If we assume that there are roughly 1.5 million bag using females in the country, this would mean that such a simple step would save us 11,250,000 days per year.

    On a more personal note, it is the single most annoying phenomenon of modern times. Ladies, why oh why do you need to bring the entire contents of your house out with you everytime you go out. You are ruining the entire country.:mad:


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    #2
    wudangclan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    Long Onion wrote: »


    My wife spends on average 30mins per day rooting in her hadbag for glasses, phone, keys, purse etc etc. This is about 180 hours per year which is 7.5 lost days per year.

    yes.but men spend 30 mins a day rooting at their balls.
    quid pro quo.


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    #3
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    You know what I love the most about it?

    They claim that they'd be lost without their handbags but they spend half their time losing stuff *in* their handbags.


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    #4
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    wudangclan wrote: »
    yes.but men spend 30 mins a day rooting at their balls.
    quid pro quo.

    I see what you mean but I can do many things whilst scratching my nuts - drink a beer, change channel, drive etc. etc.

    Bag searching on the other hand seems to render the female of the species unable to do anything especially find and answer the telephone before it goes to voicemail.


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    #5
    Wertz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,909 ✭✭✭✭Wertz


    wudangclan wrote: »
    yes.but men spend 30 mins a day rooting at their balls.
    quid pro quo.

    Yeah but at least that eventually produces something...
    :pac:


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    #6
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    OP - You clearly like handbags, otherwise you would not have put so much thought into your post. Admit it, the real issue here is you want one but can't because you are a man and in today's society men with handbags are not welcome...unless of course it is a man bag, now they might be more your style ;)


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    #7
    johnny_knoxvile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    Wertz wrote: »
    Yeah but at least that eventually produces something...
    :pac:

    and we dont carry the contents of the kitchen in our bags!


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    #8
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    wudangclan wrote: »
    yes.but men spend 30 mins a day rooting at their balls.

    It's where I keep my keys.


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    #9
    cosmic
    Registered Users Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭cosmic


    Long Onion wrote: »
    Ladies, why oh why do you need to bring the entire contents of your house out with you everytime you go out.

    So that we have something to dance around


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    #10
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    kingtut wrote: »
    OP - You clearly like handbags, otherwise you would not have put so much thought into your post. Admit it, the real issue here is you want one but can't because you are a man and in today's society men with handbags are not welcome...unless of course it is a man bag, now they might be more your style ;)


    Rumbled *slips on tutu, heads off to the Blue Oyster*


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    #11
    Micilin Muc
    Registered Users Posts: 2,842 ✭✭✭Micilin Muc


    It's the big handbags that wreck my head, especially when I'm standing on a bus or a Luas and there will always be some woman with what I'd classify as a weekend bag on their way in to work. Some of them have no more in their bags than I do in my pockets - phone, keys, wallet!


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    #12
    Fratton Fred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,567 ✭✭✭✭Fratton Fred


    why is it that women spend 5 minutes in a queue at an ATM and only decide to rummage around in their handbag to find their purse once they reach the front, thereby holding everyone else up?


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    #13
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    Or when they get on the bus (depite knowing for the last 30 mins, whilst at the stop that it would come and they would need change)

    Or at the checkout in the supermarket - it shouldn't come as a surprise that you have to pay love ...


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    #14
    genericguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,831 ✭✭✭genericguy


    Fratton Fred wrote: »
    why is it that women spend 5 minutes in a queue at an ATM and only decide to rummage around in their handbag to find their purse once they reach the front, thereby holding everyone else up?

    because they are inferior to and less efficient than men.


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    #15
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users Posts: 17,187 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    Wazdakka wrote: »
    It's where I keep my keys.

    Yup, but you have to take out phone, tissues, purse, extra tampon, make up, hairbrush, mirror, umbrella and then the keys are free to leave :P


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    #16
    wudangclan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    Yup, but you have to take out phone, tissues, purse, extra tampon, make up, hairbrush, mirror, umbrella and then the keys are free to leave :P

    he must have big balls


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    #17
    --Kaiser--
    Registered Users Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    Fratton Fred wrote: »
    why is it that women spend 5 minutes in a queue at an ATM and only decide to rummage around in their handbag to find their purse once they reach the front, thereby holding everyone else up?

    This boils my blood

    I once spend about half an hour in a queue behind about a dozen women at an ATM in Galway (there's only one, right?), if it had been a dozen men it would have been 5 mins....selfish c**ts


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    #18
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    wudangclan wrote: »
    he must have big balls

    They have to be big to fill the bag


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    #19
    Long Onion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    --Kaiser-- wrote: »
    This boils my blood

    I once spend about half an hour in a queue behind about a dozen women at an ATM in Galway (there's only one, right?), if it had been a dozen men it would have been 5 mins....selfish c**ts


    Interesting point --Kaiser-- going back to my original point about productivity of the country being lost, we should add to this all the time lost by men who end up standing in various queues whilst all this usless foostering and rummageing goes on around us.

    Maybe we should invoice the women's institute for overtime


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    #20
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Long Onion wrote: »
    Or when they get on the bus (depite knowing for the last 30 mins, whilst at the stop that it would come and they would need change)

    Or at the checkout in the supermarket - it shouldn't come as a surprise that you have to pay love ...

    Yup, that one really pisses me off. What the hell are they thinking? Maybe 'Oh, I'm sure I'll get my shopping for free this time.' Can any woman clarify this bizarre behaviour?


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