So confused!!!

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Im going out with my bf for a few years, and we have been rocky for a bit.. Sometimes were great and then he snaps over the smallest things, have spoken to him that I am sick of arguing, but it still happens (i know everyone argues from time to time but this is excessive),, I sometimes think we have run our course and when I think this way things are always better so im like yes hopefully we ok now.. when times are good they are great, but when they are bad he is a little monster,

Recently an ex of mine contacted me totally out of the blue havent seen him in yrs, saying that he always thought we would make a proper go of things, (he always tried yrs ago, i rejected him as I thought i was too young for serious relationship) he always felt we had a connection etc,, (we were best friends in school and were seeing each other on and off when we left school,,)

This has me questioning everything at the moment it has really rocked me, im at a loss as to what to do,, I suppose a part of me always thought that me and this guy would give it a go properly aswell but things didnt work out that way,

however im not a cheater and am feeling crap that im even thinking about him as me and my bf are getting on great at the moment, this guy just says as long as im happy and if we can just be friends that he is happy for me, i genuinely believe him cause he is that sort of a guy,, but i just dont know what i want anymore,,

my bf makes me feel really insecure around other women all the time, ive told him this on several occasions but he just dosent want to change, he notices nothing about me but will notice absoloutely everything about the girl across the bar (she got a new dress, her hair is lovely since she got it done) and in my head im like "so did I",, flirts mad with other women when im there which i just think is disrespectful,,


dont really know what advise im looking for just wondering on your opinions on the above,,,
I just think my ex contacting me may have been the eye opener I needed,,,

LegacyUser

Ditch the boyfriend. He doesn't seem to have any respect for you and the best of you is probably deeply hidden within you as a result.
Take some time out for you and spent some time with friends - even rekindle any relationships that have slipped over the years.
Then perhaps reestablish a friendship with the old ex (friend from school guy), and see what happens.

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice, obviously i dont want to see anyone straight away, as if we broke up i still think i would be kind of raw,, i just keep thinking how much more time am i willing to invest into a relationship that i feel is thrown back in my face any time that we go out and have a few drinks,,

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks for the advice, obviously i dont want to see anyone straight away, as if we broke up i still think i would be kind of raw,, i just keep thinking how much more time am i willing to invest into a relationship that i feel is thrown back in my face any time that we go out and have a few drinks,,

Short answer . . . NONE. Please move on. This is a toxic relationship and the sooner it ends the sooner you will feel better about yourself and be ready to enter a healthy relationship.


All the best.

kjl

Unregistered wrote: »

thanks for the advice, obviously i dont want to see anyone straight away, as if we broke up i still think i would be kind of raw,, i just keep thinking how much more time am i willing to invest into a relationship that i feel is thrown back in my face any time that we go out and have a few drinks,,

tell current bf about ex, judge his reaction

if he gets really mad about it, he does care about you but has a lousy way of showing it. I wouldnt break up with someone because someone on a web forum told you to do it, they wouldnt have all the knowledge