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Worried about mum

  • 12-08-2009 10:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    ok...so...

    im really worried about mum, herself and dad have been separated a good few years now. she is in a relationship and has been the last 2-3 years. that relationship started out bad and has continued the same way. her partners kid have caused her serious grief (which i can understand at the start of the relationship, but not now after so long).

    he doesnt seem to care about this. She is madly in love with him and would do anything for him. she has depression and i think is quite needy (i dont mean this to sound harsh). So i think she is afraid of anything changing.

    about a week ago she spotted him chatting to some women on the net, asked him about it he denied it. she someone found what was being said (im not sure how) but basically he is having an 'online relationship' with someone, quite heated messages are being sent and i cant imagine how she feels having read them.

    she again asked him about them and he denied?!?!?! i mean seriously....she saw the mails?!

    anyway, my sister told me today that mum tried to commit suicide a few years back (first id heard of it, but hadnt been told because i was in college i guess)

    im so afraid that she would do this again. i just dont know what to do. anytime i call all she can do is cry on the phone. she livess with her partner and is stuck in a rut!

    not sure what to do or what to expect from posting on here...
    but maybe someone can help......


Comments

  • #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Id call the samaritans or someone. Based on what youve said, there may be potential for suicide. I dont mean to alarm you but you cant deny the possibility either.

    She sounds like an escapists and im sorta the same way. When im depressed ill go get lost in a game or something. Similarly it sounds like shes desperately trying to cling on to her own rosy version of reality: she saw these emails and all she wants is some little thread to hang onto - and all that means is him denying sh!t. Once she has no way to hide from the truth anymore she'll have a Sink or Swim moment - do I deal with this now that I cant run from it, or do I just give up? In this case, when her relationship falls apart.

    In the meantime the best conversation you can have with her is probably one about yourself. Let her know how well you are getting on. Focus on the positives. The idea being that you will just reinforce for her that you are worth living for, should she have any suciidal thoughts. And then once she's established those reasons, she then will have to deal with her mounting problems one at a time.

    Good luck, and Id get on the phone with Samaritans.


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