cant make it to wedding- how much to give?

deisebabe

Following on from how much to give normally.....
OH and myself are invited to a wedding that we cant make due to holidays. How much do you give in this case? We wouldn't be close friends with the couple. Still we like them and wouldn't want to be mean. I get the whole give what you feel is adequate thing. But I'd like a rough idea at the same time!

tatli_lokma

I would give what is suitable for your own personal circumstances - unfortunately (esp in the current climate) there is no 'x' amount that can be assigned to that. €20 from a couple struggling is equal to €500 from a wealthy couple who can easily afford it, IMO. As you may have seen on another thread, there is a lot of disagreement on whether there is a mimimum amount 'expected' for a gift, so it is a difficult line to walk! A friend gave me €50 which in her circumstances was a huge amount for her - not only that but she was a fantastic help in the run up to the wedding. I appreciate that equally as much as another friend who gave €150 - I was stunned at her generosity, but she is on a whopper wage, so in actual fact €50 for my other friend was equal to €150 from her. Both gifts were equally appreciated. Any decent friend will realise this and not have an 'expected' amount from any guest. But that is just my two cents on it.

A couple of people who couldn't make our wedding just gave a card, one gave a card and a tenners worth of scratch cards (we won €50!), another gave €50 which we weren't expecting at all since we could only invite her to the afters and then she couldn't make it! A few friends who didn't attend didn't give anything - I don't think less of them for it, they all took the time to send a nice card, and twee as it may sound i do appreciate the thought. I suppose it depends on how close you are to the couple.

However, personally if I were invited to a whole event and couldn't make it I would still give the same amount as if i were attending. But then again I would base my gift on what I could afford and not on what I think the B&G are spending on my dinner! At the moment we could probably afford €100 gift, so that is what I would give regardless of whether I attended or not - in fact it would be easier to afford if not attending as there are no other costs like hotel, travel etc. I give a gift to celebrate an occasion, not to cover the cost of attending! So that is the only definite advice I can give - still give the same as if you were attending. That and give what you can afford and don't feel pressured into giving more because another guest says they are giving more.

Enii

Agree with all of the above!

Something special from yourself will be really appreciated by the B&G.

http://www.socialimage.net/etiquette_weddingguest.html
The above wep page gives loads of useful info. about wedding ettiquette!