Possible 'new' man

LegacyUser

I have a met someone that I really like but I have no idea how to 'play' this (and I don't mean in the game sense!)

We went on a date in Feb and there were some texts and a couple of calls afterwards with loose 'lets meet again' arrangements but nothing came of it. Then I lost my phone and his number and didn't really pursue it. I wasn't sure of him etc. etc..

Anyway, we bumped into each other in a club 5 months later and he remembered me and we swapped numbers again. There have been a couple of texts and we went on a date last Thursday and on that date arranged something for this Saturday (we were both busy last weekend). He rang me over the weekend and mentioned maybe seeing me during the week and that he would call me. Well, it's Wednesday now and I haven't heard from him other than a couple of texts today. He knows I'm busy tomorrow night and then it's Friday so I'm guessing that's not an option cos we're supposed to be meeting on Saturday.

We haven't slept together or anything though there have been a couple of heated 'goodbyes' LOL but the thing is, I really, really like him.

I know that we have Saturday organised (and I'm assuming/hoping it'll still happen) but don't know how far to take it then and whether to tell him that I really like him (not love him or anything stalkerville).

I feel like a stupid teenager and we are both in our very late 30's!

What do you think would be too much?? And should I just relax and let him contact me? If he hasn't, bearing in mind we have plans for Saturday, when should I contact him re: Saturday night???

Trixielicious

text him! and when you go out Saturday just go with the flow, defo no confessing of love but do tell him what a great time you are having. Maybe casually drop into the conversation about the film, exhibition, gig you'ld like to go to and ask if he would like to join you. No pressure just nice and slow.

Otis Driftwood

Unregistered wrote: »

I feel like a stupid teenager and we are both in our very late 30's!

Nice feeling,isnt it.:)

You are obviously interested and he seems the same so why should you wait for him to contact you?

Ring him today and tell him you are free tonight if he wants to catch up for a movie or a quiet drink.
Its casual but its also putting yourself out there a wee bit too.

LegacyUser

You said he's texted you a few times today, so he's obviously thinking of you. Why dont you text/ring him & ask him if he's free for an hour or two tonight to meet up.

petethebrick

Unregistered wrote: »

I have a met someone that I really like but I have no idea how to 'play' this (and I don't mean in the game sense!)

We went on a date in Feb and there were some texts and a couple of calls afterwards with loose 'lets meet again' arrangements but nothing came of it. Then I lost my phone and his number and didn't really pursue it. I wasn't sure of him etc. etc..

Anyway, we bumped into each other in a club 5 months later and he remembered me and we swapped numbers again. There have been a couple of texts and we went on a date last Thursday and on that date arranged something for this Saturday (we were both busy last weekend). He rang me over the weekend and mentioned maybe seeing me during the week and that he would call me. Well, it's Wednesday now and I haven't heard from him other than a couple of texts today. He knows I'm busy tomorrow night and then it's Friday so I'm guessing that's not an option cos we're supposed to be meeting on Saturday.

We haven't slept together or anything though there have been a couple of heated 'goodbyes' LOL but the thing is, I really, really like him.

I know that we have Saturday organised (and I'm assuming/hoping it'll still happen) but don't know how far to take it then and whether to tell him that I really like him (not love him or anything stalkerville).

I feel like a stupid teenager and we are both in our very late 30's!

What do you think would be too much?? And should I just relax and let him contact me? If he hasn't, bearing in mind we have plans for Saturday, when should I contact him re: Saturday night???

If you really like him as you say then call him up before the weekend. Just ask him out straight what the story is for saturday and if he isn't able to commit to meeting up then **** him - you've done your bit.

LegacyUser

"Nice feeling, isnt it."

Yes and no!! I feel sick LOL!

Right I've texted him to see if he wants to meet for a couple of hours tonight....brace yourselves!

LegacyUser

Well I got me a date

He trains on a Wednesday which is why there was nothing for midweek arranged but we're meeting after....

Wish me luck *blush*

Thanks for your help!

marie_85

Aw, good luck!!!

There's nothing like that initial feeling of falling for someone. Hope the date(s) go well!

tbh

Unregistered wrote: »

Well I got me a date

He trains on a Wednesday which is why there was nothing for midweek arranged but we're meeting after....

Wish me luck *blush*

Thanks for your help!

just to confirm - you are so in there just try to be patient and enjoy it. It may work out, it may not, but there's no reason to be apprehensive.

Trixielicious

Unregistered wrote: »

Well I got me a date

He trains on a Wednesday which is why there was nothing for midweek arranged but we're meeting after....

Wish me luck *blush*

Thanks for your help!

Awh best of luck!!!! Hope you enjoy yourself!!!!

I'm all gooey and excited for you now, I love that first sickly feelings at the beginning of relationships!!!!

themacdaddy

Delighted for you OP. Nice to hear someone with a good news story. . I am sure if you just be yourself you will have a great time together! All the best!

LegacyUser

Well we went out that night and had a good night. It was really late for the two of us and probably one of those 'maybe not such a good idea' type of idea's but hey. We had a couple of cokes and a long goodnight in the car park which involved lots of snogging and some 'hand action' (there is a reason I'm telling you that bit *blush*)

We had arranged to go out on Saturday and I met him in the club. I had gone in with a (male) friend of mine and I introduced them when he arrived about 45 minutes later.

Thought we had a good night and got on well again.

At the end of the night I asked him if he wanted to come back to my hotel and he said he couldn't because he was playing football at 11 the next morning and needed to go home and get his stuff and wasn't sure how to get to the pitch from where I was staying.

I said okay and then he said that he was kind of old fashioned and didn't believe in sex until you'd been dating for a couple of months. Then has asked me if I wanted to go back to his instead and then go and watch him play football on Sunday. I told him that I was really confused...how was it different for me to go back to his but not for him to come to my hotel?? And also, how was what we had been doing in the car park different to having sex???

Anyway, he walked me up to a taxi and kissed me and said he'd call me yesterday.

I am still waiting to hear from him....

Would you write this one off to experience?

LegacyUser

Hi OP. Just wondering what answer he gave you when you asked him about the previous night & why it was different for you to go back to his house? Or did he avoid the question?

Otis Driftwood

I wouldnt panic just yet.If he was just looking for a shag he would have taken you up on the offer to go back to your Hotel.

He told you he wasnt sure how to get to the pitch from where you were staying,had no gear with him so it would have being unpractical to go to your Hotel.

He even asked you to go see him play his match so that doesnt really sound like someone that wasnt interested.

Give it til this evening.If you havnt heard anything give him a ring,dont text, and see what the story is.

LegacyUser

He just kind of avoided it all really...

That actually didn't throw me as much as the lack of contact yesterday did tbh. I was confused but cool with what he was saying but a couple of times he said he'd contact me Sunday and he didn't.

I'll let tonight happen and if I don't hear I'll call him tomorrow..

Trixielicious

Try not to worry pet, most guys wouldn't ask any woman to watch them play football unless he was really trying to impress you with his (ahem!) ball control!!!! It was more logical in his mind for you to stay at his place than him go to the hotel. Also bringing you to the match means all his mates seeing you aswell, I'm sure guys are nervous about introducing their new potential girlfriend to their mates so that's a really good sign.

I agree that you should wait until tonight and then call him if you haven't heard anything!!

Good luck!!!

LegacyUser

Thanks all.

He called today and I decided not to mention that he said he'd call yesterday. However, he mostly went on (and on) about the fact that I had spent a lot of time with my (male) friend that night (huh???) and that he was very attentive etc. Now this guy is almost 20 years my junior and I have totally zero interest in him even if that was not the case and I thought that me and new man spent plenty of time together during the night in the club.

I told new man that fact on the call but the call was just a bit awkward and very kind of clinical or something. He finished up with saying that he'd call me one night during the week and I just said okay.

Then I had a little think and texted him basically saying that I really liked him but wasn't sure where the accusations were coming from regarding male friend and that if that was what he really thought then it was good to hear from him but that this was probably as far as it was going to go for us. It's too early in this for me to have to 'defend' myself from nonsense!

Another one bites the dust eh?

Trixielicious

Don't write it off just yet. Some men find it hard to relax when there are male friends around. Remember he was on a night out with you and suddenly there is another man there getting your attention also, even though he is only a friend to you the potential BF doesn't know him at all so maybe he thought your friend's behaviour suggested there was more to your friendship even though there wasn't. I agree that it is too early to have to defend yourself but his insecurities coupled with drink meant the night was probably very awkward for him. In my opinion if you really like this guy give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe, if you want to, text him in a couple of days and ask him out for a drink, just the two of you. You can discuss it with him then and put both your minds at rest.

Otis Driftwood

Well if I had arranged to go out with someone and she brought along a friend,male or female,I would be a bit peeved aswell.

If it was a first date then its understandable but the fact is it wasnt so maybe he thought you didnt trust him or something like that.

Dont write it off yet anyway.

LegacyUser

Ned and Trixie thanks for the insights.

Just to address a couple of things:

Trixie ~ he actually doesn't drink at all so the complication of a normal boozy night isn't a factor with him.

Ned ~ ordinarily I would absolutely agree but it was an event night that we attended and he had said he would meet me in there. I was kind of glad of friends attendance to be honest cos I was in there almost an hour before he arrived! I would have been there alone if it wasn't for him. And once new man arrived he made his excuses and left, just kind of popping over a few times through the evening...

I've sent the text and got no reply so just gonna leave it with him now...

Thanks for the replies...

LegacyUser

I wonder is he afraid of getting into a relationship? Is he trying to get over another relationship or has he been single for a long time? If he's in his late 30's & has been single for a while it might be scaring him a bit & maybe he's just trying to back off for a while. He might just need a few days to get his head around what's happening with you.